作者ga045213 (bababer)
看板GEPT
標題[寫作] 幫我看一下這個造句
時間Mon Apr 12 00:49:03 2010
several nights,dreaming my father,as a giant,hanging an extremely huge fired
bomb with many little boys and girls,dancing and singing around him,ending up
by the exploded bomb with freash and boold from these children,I would waked
up abruptly in the nightmare.
我在想這樣的句子會不會太長.....
讀起來會很不舒服嗎?
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1F：推 MerciDanke:會太長 太多訊息在同一個句子裡了 可以先寫 I would 04/12 07:35
2F：→ MerciDanke:wake up abruptly in a nightmare several times 04/12 07:35
3F：→ MerciDanke:recently. In the dream ... 用完整的句子說明夢境 04/12 07:36
4F：→ ga045213:感恩! 04/12 10:56
5F：→ b96104018:作文要的是簡潔清楚傳達訊息.. 04/12 15:04
6F：→ ga045213:恩恩= =感恩~~因為在下從未正式用英文認真的寫作過 04/12 23:24
7F：→ ga045213:又看到一堆文學史夾雜了一堆訊息~~或是小說 04/12 23:24
8F：→ ga045213:會想這樣造也是想看一個句子裡給的訊息的最大極限是到那 04/12 23:25
9F：推 achemoeco:還好啦，基本上你都用逗點分開了，感覺不是一個句子阿 05/27 23:13
10F：→ achemoeco:都那麼多逗點了，就是好幾個句子了 05/27 23:13