作者ga045213 (bababer)
看板GEPT
标题[写作] 帮我看一下这个造句
时间Mon Apr 12 00:49:03 2010
several nights,dreaming my father,as a giant,hanging an extremely huge fired
bomb with many little boys and girls,dancing and singing around him,ending up
by the exploded bomb with freash and boold from these children,I would waked
up abruptly in the nightmare.
我在想这样的句子会不会太长.....
读起来会很不舒服吗?
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1F：推 MerciDanke:会太长 太多讯息在同一个句子里了 可以先写 I would 04/12 07:35
2F：→ MerciDanke:wake up abruptly in a nightmare several times 04/12 07:35
3F：→ MerciDanke:recently. In the dream ... 用完整的句子说明梦境 04/12 07:36
4F：→ ga045213:感恩! 04/12 10:56
5F：→ b96104018:作文要的是简洁清楚传达讯息.. 04/12 15:04
6F：→ ga045213:恩恩= =感恩~~因为在下从未正式用英文认真的写作过 04/12 23:24
7F：→ ga045213:又看到一堆文学史夹杂了一堆讯息~~或是小说 04/12 23:24
8F：→ ga045213:会想这样造也是想看一个句子里给的讯息的最大极限是到那 04/12 23:25
9F：推 achemoeco:还好啦，基本上你都用逗点分开了，感觉不是一个句子阿 05/27 23:13
10F：→ achemoeco:都那麽多逗点了，就是好几个句子了 05/27 23:13