作者BEN770430 (阿Ben)
看板Eng-Class
标题Re: [请益] 可以帮我订正一下自我介绍吗
时间Fri Jul 8 08:11:12 2011
※ 引述《jaaaab22 (Dabby)》之铭言:
: 可以帮我纠正文法或不自然的用法吗
: 谢谢
: I was born in Kaohsiung. Father works in Taiwan Power Company, and Mother
My father my
: is a beautiful housewife. I have two brothers and a sister, all of us grown
and we all grew
: up in a lovely house. Four years ago, I came to Taipei for learning by
went
: myself. It pushed me to be a independent person.
, which pushed me an
: In my four years of college, I joined to the volleyball club and badminton
During my four years college life,
: club. In sports club, spirit of teamwork is necessary. Thanks to that, I
In sport clubs, the spirit , which helped me
: could learned how to get along well with my friends. And, I did a lot of
learn how Also,
: part-time job in my college life. It could not only extend my social life,
jobs 这边不用再说一次这段开头就说过了
: but also learn the skill how to deal with the problem.
help me learn the skills about how to deal with problems.
: In my spare time, I like singing and watching foreign TV show.Singing
shows
: could release my pressure and watching TV show or program could enrich my
helps me release shows programs enriches
: knowledge. I always try to learn the thing that I never know.
things I have never heard.
: Thank you for listen to my introduction.
listening
仅供参考 希望是没改错
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◆ From: 24.241.229.209
1F:→ hoch:我不知道这是口说还是书面的自我介绍。不过个人认为,该讲到 07/08 09:39
2F:→ hoch:的重点完全没讲到。例如学校是哪间,大学学啥,工作经验为何 07/08 09:40
3F:→ hoch:个人光辉的历史在哪,长处是什麽, ... etc. 反而浪费篇幅在 07/08 09:41
4F:→ hoch:身家背景。 07/08 09:41
5F:→ hoch:假设你还有一张类似 CV 的书面履历,那这一段自介重点应该在 07/08 09:43
6F:→ hoch:浓缩你的光荣精历,让对方在一两分钟之内知道为何要花时间 07/08 09:44
7F:→ hoch: 经历 07/08 09:45
8F:→ hoch:听或是阅读你的自我介绍。没有人对你的兄弟姊妹,你爱看的电 07/08 09:46
9F:→ hoch:视节目感兴趣的。 07/08 09:46
10F:推 iken8782:改过之後 还是有很多错误喔 ^^ 07/08 13:09