https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz0xSBePS9w 標題中譯﹕摸根廢力慢講解世界杯 (以下先附原汁原味的旁白﹐之後再附翻譯) ======================================================================= The World Cup. Billions hold their breath as a champion is forged inside the crucible of earth's biggest sporting event. Oh, I've heard the doubters. They say to me, "Morgan, I am an American, and a heterosexual. Why in tar nation should I waste my time watching El Copa Mundial?" I'll tell you why, my friend. Guys getting hit---- in the nuts. Hot damn! No other spectacle offers as much nut-crushing action as the World Cup. Sacs are obliterated. Nads are squashed. Testicles are utterly destroyed. Uh-oh! Looks like someone got a red card--- on their balls. Top striker can send a ball at a man's groin at more than 130km/hr. Now I don't play that metric crap, but even I know that will flatten your hairy pouch into a pancake that is going to ache like a bitch for weeks. And don't get me started on the beauty of cleat to balls action. Holy Mother of exploded testies! There is nothing, and I mean nothing, as sweet as the sound of a diamond- tipped soccer boot finding a man's floppy treasure. This is why it is called the beautiful game. ========================================================================== 世界杯 在全球最盛大的運動比賽中﹐上億人屏息目睹冠軍的誕生。 喔﹐我知道有人不這麼認為。 他們對我說﹕“摸根﹐我是個美國人﹐又是個異性戀。我幹嘛浪費時間看世界杯﹖” 朋友﹐讓我告訴你為什麼。 男人們被打中--------蛋蛋。 哇靠﹗ 除了世界杯﹐再也沒有別的盛事能提供這麼多爆蛋畫面了。 子孫袋被打爆。小丸子被鏟平。蛋蛋被徹底毀滅。 喔喔。好像有人被發了紅牌--在他的球球上。 頂尖的攻擊球員可以將一顆足球以高過每小時130公里的速度射向別人的命根。 我從來不在乎什麼狗屁數學﹐ 但我也知道那可以把你的小毛球打到扁得跟鬆餅一樣﹐還會痛彼娘親好幾個禮拜。 而且千萬別讓我談起那精美的腳vs蛋。 蛋蛋爆炸的神之境界啊。 沒有別的東西﹐我強調﹕沒有任何東西﹐ 可以比得上滿是尖鑽的釘鞋終於踢中男人的趴趴走小寶貝時發出的甜美聲音。 這就是為什麼人們稱它為美麗的遊戲。 --

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