麵包機笑話（中譯） If IBM made toasters... They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters. 如果IBM 造烤麵包機： 他們會建造一臺大的烤麵包機，以讓人們可以委託他們來整夜的烤麵包。I BM 將會宣稱全世界的烤麵包機市場只有五臺，嗯....最多也許是六臺。 If Xerox made toasters... You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you. 如果全錄造烤麵包機： 你可以選擇要烤一面或兩面（全錄的影印機）。連績的烤的話，它會一次 比一次烤得更不透（印得愈來愈不清楚）。這臺烤麵包機將會為你塗果醬 （jam 有阻塞之意，所以真正的意思是，你的麵包機會因為塞麵包而動彈 不得） If Radio Shack made toasters... The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own toaster. 如果 Radio Shack 造烤麵包機（Radio Shack 是一家電子電器大賣的連 鎖店，亦有委託別家製造然後以 Radio Shack 之名販售之物）： 裡面的人只負責賣烤麵包機，可是它對於這樣東西是完全一問三不知。也 許你可會買到全部的零件，然後回去自己DIY 。 If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing smoke. 如果 Oracle 造烤麵包機： 他們將會宣稱，它們的麵包機相容於所有品牌及樣式的麵包。可是如果你買 回家的話，你會發現，要烤圈餅是不可能的，因為烤圈餅的核心結構還在發 展中，而可以烤可頌的延展結構還要三年才能發展出來。事實上，這整臺機 器只是會冒煙而已。 If Sun made toasters... The toast would burn often, but you could get a really good cuppa Java. 如果昇陽造烤麵包機： 那麼你的麵包將經常在烤製中燒掉，不過你可以得到一杯真正的好爪哇咖啡 （Java，該知道是什麼吧） Does DEC still make toasters?... They made good toasters in the '80s, didn't they? DEC 仍然有在造烤麵包機嗎?? 他們在80年代時造過不錯的烤麵包機，對吧?? If Hewlett-Packard made toasters... They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread. 如果惠普造烤麵包機： 他們會銷售一種和別人相反的漂亮烤麵包機，你放入烤麵包片，出來的是普 通的麵包。 If Cray made toasters... They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world. 如果克雷造烤麵包機： 他們會花一千六百萬美元去造一臺，不過它會比世界上的任何一臺單片烤麵 包機要烤得快。 If Sony made toasters... The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your belt. 如果新力造烤麵包機： 他們會造一臺隨身土司機，它的大小儘儘大於一片土司，你可以很容易把它 放在你的皮帶上。 And, of course: 當然啦，還有： If Microsoft made toasters... Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters. 如果微軟造烤麵包機： 你每買一條麵包，你就會買一臺烤麵包機。你不一定要拿它，不過你還是要 付錢。土司機 95 重達一萬五千磅（因此你還需要一塊強化鋼的頂座以支撐 它），它使用的電力相當於一座小城市，會佔去你廚房空間的 95%，它號稱 是世界上第一臺可以讓你控制可以把麵包烤得多黑的烤麵包機。它還會秘密 的查看你的其它電器用品是那家廠商做的。每一個人都討厭微軟牌烤麵包機。 儘管如此，每一個人都還是會買它。因為，幾乎所有品牌的麵包都只能在在 這臺烤麵包機上使用。 If Apple made toasters... It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier. 如果蘋果造烤麵包機： 他們會做和微軟完全相同的事，只是早五年就是了。 -- 趙客縵胡纓 吳鉤霜雪明 銀鞍照白馬 颯沓如流星 十步殺一人 千里不留行 事了拂衣去 深藏身與名 閒過信陵飲 脫劍膝前橫 將炙啖朱亥 持觴勸侯贏 三盃吐然諾 五嶽倒為輕 眼花耳熱後 意氣素霓生 救趙揮金槌 邯鄲先震驚 千秋二壯士 烜赫大梁城 縱使俠骨香 不慚世上英 誰能書閤下 白首太玄經 李白 俠客行 --

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