面包机笑话（中译） If IBM made toasters... They would want one big toaster where people bring bread to be submitted for overnight toasting. IBM would claim a worldwide market for five, maybe six toasters. 如果IBM 造烤面包机： 他们会建造一台大的烤面包机，以让人们可以委托他们来整夜的烤面包。I BM 将会宣称全世界的烤面包机市场只有五台，嗯....最多也许是六台。 If Xerox made toasters... You could toast one-sided or double-sided. Successive slices would get lighter and lighter. The toaster would jam your bread for you. 如果全录造烤面包机： 你可以选择要烤一面或两面（全录的影印机）。连绩的烤的话，它会一次 比一次烤得更不透（印得愈来愈不清楚）。这台烤面包机将会为你涂果酱 （jam 有阻塞之意，所以真正的意思是，你的面包机会因为塞面包而动弹 不得） If Radio Shack made toasters... The staff would sell you a toaster, but not know anything about it. Or you could buy all the parts to build your own toaster. 如果 Radio Shack 造烤面包机（Radio Shack 是一家电子电器大卖的连 锁店，亦有委托别家制造然後以 Radio Shack 之名贩售之物）： 里面的人只负责卖烤面包机，可是它对於这样东西是完全一问三不知。也 许你可会买到全部的零件，然後回去自己DIY 。 If Oracle made toasters... They'd claim their toaster was compatible with all brands and styles of bread, but when you got it home you'd discover the Bagel Engine was still in development, the Croissant Extension was three years away, and that indeed the whole appliance was just blowing smoke. 如果 Oracle 造烤面包机： 他们将会宣称，它们的面包机相容於所有品牌及样式的面包。可是如果你买 回家的话，你会发现，要烤圈饼是不可能的，因为烤圈饼的核心结构还在发 展中，而可以烤可颂的延展结构还要三年才能发展出来。事实上，这整台机 器只是会冒烟而已。 If Sun made toasters... The toast would burn often, but you could get a really good cuppa Java. 如果昇阳造烤面包机： 那麽你的面包将经常在烤制中烧掉，不过你可以得到一杯真正的好爪哇咖啡 （Java，该知道是什麽吧） Does DEC still make toasters?... They made good toasters in the '80s, didn't they? DEC 仍然有在造烤面包机吗?? 他们在80年代时造过不错的烤面包机，对吧?? If Hewlett-Packard made toasters... They would market the Reverse Polish Toaster, which takes in toast and gives you regular bread. 如果惠普造烤面包机： 他们会销售一种和别人相反的漂亮烤面包机，你放入烤面包片，出来的是普 通的面包。 If Cray made toasters... They would cost $16 million but would be faster than any other single-slice toaster in the world. 如果克雷造烤面包机： 他们会花一千六百万美元去造一台，不过它会比世界上的任何一台单片烤面 包机要烤得快。 If Sony made toasters... The ToastMan, which would be barely larger than the single piece of bread it is meant to toast, can be conveniently attached to your belt. 如果新力造烤面包机： 他们会造一台随身土司机，它的大小尽尽大於一片土司，你可以很容易把它 放在你的皮带上。 And, of course: 当然啦，还有： If Microsoft made toasters... Every time you bought a loaf of bread, you would have to buy a toaster. You wouldn't have to take the toaster, but you'd still have to pay for it anyway. Toaster'95 would weigh 15000 pounds (hence requiring a reinforced steel countertop), draw enough electricity to power a small city, take up 95% of the space in your kitchen, would claim to be the first toaster that lets you control how light or dark you want your toast to be, and would secretly interrogate your other appliances to find out who made them. Everyone would hate Microsoft toasters, but nonetheless would buy them since most of the good bread only works with their toasters. 如果微软造烤面包机： 你每买一条面包，你就会买一台烤面包机。你不一定要拿它，不过你还是要 付钱。土司机 95 重达一万五千磅（因此你还需要一块强化钢的顶座以支撑 它），它使用的电力相当於一座小城市，会占去你厨房空间的 95%，它号称 是世界上第一台可以让你控制可以把面包烤得多黑的烤面包机。它还会秘密 的查看你的其它电器用品是那家厂商做的。每一个人都讨厌微软牌烤面包机。 尽管如此，每一个人都还是会买它。因为，几乎所有品牌的面包都只能在在 这台烤面包机上使用。 If Apple made toasters... It would do everything the Microsoft toaster does, but 5 years earlier. 如果苹果造烤面包机： 他们会做和微软完全相同的事，只是早五年就是了。 -- 赵客缦胡缨 吴钩霜雪明 银鞍照白马 飒沓如流星 十步杀一人 千里不留行 事了拂衣去 深藏身与名 闲过信陵饮 脱剑膝前横 将炙啖朱亥 持觞劝侯赢 三盃吐然诺 五岳倒为轻 眼花耳热後 意气素霓生 救赵挥金槌 邯郸先震惊 千秋二壮士 烜赫大梁城 纵使侠骨香 不惭世上英 谁能书合下 白首太玄经 李白 侠客行 --

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