※ [本文轉錄自 joke 看板] 作者: sagit (讓我變身Legolas) 看板: joke 標題: Re: 轉貼 亞拉岡的秘密日記 時間: Sun Dec 29 01:12:17 2002 ※ 引述《lonelymaster (寂寞高手－等)》之銘言： : 　　天啊！太好笑了，誰能全部翻出來呀？？ 我來翻熱狗拉屎那一段吧 XD THE SECRET DIARY OF LEGOLAS SON OF WEENUS Day One: Went to Council of Elrond. Was prettiest person there. Agreed to follow some tiny little man to Mordor to throw ring into volcano. Very important mission - gold ring so tacky. 第一天 去愛隆王那邊開會 我可是所有人中最美的一個喔 我們決定跟著某些不知道那裡來的小矮人去Mordor 然後把戒指丟到火山 這是很重要的任務 -- 金色戒指真是俗爆了 Day Four: Boromir so irritating. Why must he wear big shield like dinner plate all the time? Climbed up Caradhras but wimpy humans who cannot walk on snow insisted we climb back down. Am definitely prettiest member of the Fellowship. Go me! 第四天﹕ 波羅蜜很煩人 他幹嗎一直帶著那個像大盤子一樣的盾牌在身上﹖﹖ 我們爬上caradhras山 但是沒用的人類不能在雪上行走 所以我們只好爬下山 Day Six: Far too dark in Mines of Moria to brush hair properly. Am very afraid I am developing a tangle. Orcs so silly. Still the prettiest. Moria礦坑非常非常黑 我根本沒辦法好好梳頭髮 實在很怕我的頭髮會打結耶....... 半獸人蠢死了 我還是所有人中最美的 Day Ten: Gandalf fell into shadow. In other news, I think I am developing a spot on my nose. V. serious situation, as Elven spots likely to last for 500 years or more. Still prettiest, despite blasted spot. 第十天﹕ 乾豆腐掉入黑暗中了 糟糕 我的鼻子上面好像長了黑色斑點 (﹖美國人說到spot的時候大概都是指斑點 但是不知道英國人是不是指青春痘﹖) 這很嚴重 因為精靈身上的黑斑可能會持續個500年 甚至更久 我還是最美的 除了那個討厭的斑點以外 Day Eleven: In Lothlorien. Suspect Galadriel may be prettier than me. Also, am quite sure she copied my hairstyle. I was wearing that same look at least 1,000 years ago. Silly bint. She was most annoyed that I used her mirrored fountain to take a nice bubble bath. I choose to ignore her claim that my hair clogged her drain. Not one strand of my hair has fallen out in 800 years, why would it start now? Still prettiest by far. 第11天 在Lothlorien森林 可疑的Galadriel女王可能有比我還美........ 不過我很確定她是模仿我的髮型 我這個髮型已經維持了超過1000年啦 蠢蛋 她一定很不爽我用他的噴水池洗了一個泡泡澡 她說我掉下來的頭髮堵住噴水池的出水口 我當作沒聽到 拜託 我的頭髮已經800年沒掉過一根了 怎麼可能現在開始掉了﹖﹗ Day 30: All this paddling about in boats is hell on my complexion. Aragorn obviously starting to find Frodo strangely attractive. Sam will kill him if he tries anything. Still the prettiest. 第30天 這個船的槳實在是超級配我的膚色的啦 (這一句不確定) 鴨臘乾好像開始覺得胡蘿蔔很有吸引力 可是如果鴨臘乾對胡蘿蔔做了什麼事情Sam一定會宰了鴨臘乾的 我還是最最最美的 Day 33 : Boromir tempted by Ring. So tedious. Cannot be tempted myself, as already have everything I want i.e. perfect hair and a butt like granite. Have been getting very strange letters from someone calling herself "Stacey" who wants to do obscene things to my elfhood. Fortunately have super-duper elf vision so can run away if I see her coming. 第33天﹕ 波羅蜜被戒指引誘了 真麻煩 不過我不會被引誘 我已經擁有一切啦 譬如說我完美的頭髮還有結實的屁股 ^^" 我開始接到一些奇怪的信 署名是"stacey"的人寫來的 他想要對我做一些猥褻的事情....... 不過還好我有精靈特有的超級視力 如果看到他過來我可以立刻跑 Day 35: Boromir dead. Very messy death, most uncessesary. Did get kissed by Aragorn as he expired. Does a guy have to get shot full of arrows around here to get any action? Boromir definitely not prettier than me. Cannot understand it. Am feeling a pout coming on. Frodo off to Mordor with Sam. Tiny little men caring about each other, rather cute really. Am quite sure Gimli fancies me. So unfair. He is waist height, so can see advantages there, but chunky braids and big helmet most offputting. Forsee dark times ahead, very dark times. 第35天 波羅蜜掛了 死的還亂難看的 而且說實在他不需要死的 他死的時候鴨臘乾還親了他 為什麼這裡的人一定要等到全身被箭射的亂七八糟了才能讓心上人展開行動﹖ (這一句不很確定) 波羅蜜絕對不會有比我美 我真是搞不懂 我開始覺得不太爽(這一句不確定) 胡蘿蔔跟Sam自己去Mordor了 這兩個小矮人很關心對方 真可愛呀 我很確定Gimli暗戀我 不公平啊 他只有到我的腰這麼高而已 這是一個優點啦 (﹖不確定) 可是他一跎一跎的頭髮還有笨重的頭盔實在滿令人討厭的 我預見黑暗的到來 非常非常的黑暗............. --

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