※ [本文转录自 joke 看板] 作者: sagit (让我变身Legolas) 看板: joke 标题: Re: 转贴 亚拉冈的秘密日记 时间: Sun Dec 29 01:12:17 2002 ※ 引述《lonelymaster (寂寞高手－等)》之铭言： : 　　天啊！太好笑了，谁能全部翻出来呀？？ 我来翻热狗拉屎那一段吧 XD THE SECRET DIARY OF LEGOLAS SON OF WEENUS Day One: Went to Council of Elrond. Was prettiest person there. Agreed to follow some tiny little man to Mordor to throw ring into volcano. Very important mission - gold ring so tacky. 第一天 去爱隆王那边开会 我可是所有人中最美的一个喔 我们决定跟着某些不知道那里来的小矮人去Mordor 然後把戒指丢到火山 这是很重要的任务 -- 金色戒指真是俗爆了 Day Four: Boromir so irritating. Why must he wear big shield like dinner plate all the time? Climbed up Caradhras but wimpy humans who cannot walk on snow insisted we climb back down. Am definitely prettiest member of the Fellowship. Go me! 第四天﹕ 波罗蜜很烦人 他干吗一直带着那个像大盘子一样的盾牌在身上﹖﹖ 我们爬上caradhras山 但是没用的人类不能在雪上行走 所以我们只好爬下山 Day Six: Far too dark in Mines of Moria to brush hair properly. Am very afraid I am developing a tangle. Orcs so silly. Still the prettiest. Moria矿坑非常非常黑 我根本没办法好好梳头发 实在很怕我的头发会打结耶....... 半兽人蠢死了 我还是所有人中最美的 Day Ten: Gandalf fell into shadow. In other news, I think I am developing a spot on my nose. V. serious situation, as Elven spots likely to last for 500 years or more. Still prettiest, despite blasted spot. 第十天﹕ 乾豆腐掉入黑暗中了 糟糕 我的鼻子上面好像长了黑色斑点 (﹖美国人说到spot的时候大概都是指斑点 但是不知道英国人是不是指青春痘﹖) 这很严重 因为精灵身上的黑斑可能会持续个500年 甚至更久 我还是最美的 除了那个讨厌的斑点以外 Day Eleven: In Lothlorien. Suspect Galadriel may be prettier than me. Also, am quite sure she copied my hairstyle. I was wearing that same look at least 1,000 years ago. Silly bint. She was most annoyed that I used her mirrored fountain to take a nice bubble bath. I choose to ignore her claim that my hair clogged her drain. Not one strand of my hair has fallen out in 800 years, why would it start now? Still prettiest by far. 第11天 在Lothlorien森林 可疑的Galadriel女王可能有比我还美........ 不过我很确定她是模仿我的发型 我这个发型已经维持了超过1000年啦 蠢蛋 她一定很不爽我用他的喷水池洗了一个泡泡澡 她说我掉下来的头发堵住喷水池的出水口 我当作没听到 拜托 我的头发已经800年没掉过一根了 怎麽可能现在开始掉了﹖﹗ Day 30: All this paddling about in boats is hell on my complexion. Aragorn obviously starting to find Frodo strangely attractive. Sam will kill him if he tries anything. Still the prettiest. 第30天 这个船的桨实在是超级配我的肤色的啦 (这一句不确定) 鸭腊乾好像开始觉得胡萝卜很有吸引力 可是如果鸭腊乾对胡萝卜做了什麽事情Sam一定会宰了鸭腊乾的 我还是最最最美的 Day 33 : Boromir tempted by Ring. So tedious. Cannot be tempted myself, as already have everything I want i.e. perfect hair and a butt like granite. Have been getting very strange letters from someone calling herself "Stacey" who wants to do obscene things to my elfhood. Fortunately have super-duper elf vision so can run away if I see her coming. 第33天﹕ 波罗蜜被戒指引诱了 真麻烦 不过我不会被引诱 我已经拥有一切啦 譬如说我完美的头发还有结实的屁股 ^^" 我开始接到一些奇怪的信 署名是"stacey"的人写来的 他想要对我做一些猥亵的事情....... 不过还好我有精灵特有的超级视力 如果看到他过来我可以立刻跑 Day 35: Boromir dead. Very messy death, most uncessesary. Did get kissed by Aragorn as he expired. Does a guy have to get shot full of arrows around here to get any action? Boromir definitely not prettier than me. Cannot understand it. Am feeling a pout coming on. Frodo off to Mordor with Sam. Tiny little men caring about each other, rather cute really. Am quite sure Gimli fancies me. So unfair. He is waist height, so can see advantages there, but chunky braids and big helmet most offputting. Forsee dark times ahead, very dark times. 第35天 波罗蜜挂了 死的还乱难看的 而且说实在他不需要死的 他死的时候鸭腊乾还亲了他 为什麽这里的人一定要等到全身被箭射的乱七八糟了才能让心上人展开行动﹖ (这一句不很确定) 波罗蜜绝对不会有比我美 我真是搞不懂 我开始觉得不太爽(这一句不确定) 胡萝卜跟Sam自己去Mordor了 这两个小矮人很关心对方 真可爱呀 我很确定Gimli暗恋我 不公平啊 他只有到我的腰这麽高而已 这是一个优点啦 (﹖不确定) 可是他一跎一跎的头发还有笨重的头盔实在满令人讨厌的 我预见黑暗的到来 非常非常的黑暗............. --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.csie.ntu.edu.tw) ◆ From: 128.6.246.14 ※ 编辑: sagit 来自: 128.6.246.14 (12/29 01:13) ※ 编辑: sagit 来自: 128.6.246.14 (12/29 01:14) ※ 编辑: sagit 来自: 128.6.246.14 (12/29 01:16) --

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