※ 引述《Eritrea (Eritrea)》之銘言： : 雖然去補了某家知名的雅思補習班 但英文作文還是一直無法突破 : (我認真寫和隨便寫的分數居然都差不多 老師上課常常用"google it" "I'm not sure" : 帶過問題.....) : 我英文程度應該還算OK TOEIC沒怎麼準備去考也有800分 : 但是每次作文都被批改的只有5.5分左右 : 我現在漸漸的越來越喪失信心 : 想試著換個補習班改改看作文 不知道有沒有推薦的地方 : 或是有好心的版友可以幫我看看問題到底出在哪.... : ================================================== : 題目:People think that building should be knocked down and give way to the new : buildings. Do you agree or disagree? How important are old buildings to us? : With the rapid economic development, great deals of regions are confronted 第一次用 : with a renewal program, and are building modern structures to replace older 更新的計畫 新的建築取代舊的 : ones. Some people might consider it is too rude to these historical (其實and前後意思都差不多,你寫太長了) : structures, and others regard it as an opportunity of social development. 這裡把題目再寫一遍...為什麼? 第二次用 : This essay will elaborate the merits and drawback of the debate. 到這邊introduction沒有idea...只是把題目解釋好幾次 : Some individuals claim that aged structures should be protected for the : following reasons. First, constructions are symbols of life experience of the 往下看reasons很模糊 哪一種建築物? ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 說真的...看不懂 : local area. A large number of historical buildings should be preserved but ^^^^^^^^^^ 你講歷史建築物應該被保留,雖然好像是理所當然,但還是要更精確 : not destroyed. In contemporary world, due to globalization, the regional : features are replaced with the prevalent western culture gradually. The aged ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 突然跑出西方文化部會覺得很跳tone嗎? : buildings play vital roles in establishing variation among architectures. ^^^^^^^^^^^ 從first...到現在有沒有發現一直再繞圈圈...講同樣的東西 : In contrast, people might hold different opinion that the conservation of : aged structures is expensive and that is difficult to find the master of ^^ ^and連接兩個句子時需要逗點 ^^^^^^大師? 通常有動詞可以用一定會比be動詞好,用cost too much都比用is expensive要生動 : traditional repairing skills. As far as I am concerned, the maintance of : traditional constructions might produce severe stress on governments’ produce + stress ^^^^^^^^^^^ 你可以去查查搭配詞詞典,produce跟stress應該很少人這樣用 政府不太用複數 可以cause/create/suffer...stress 請參考字典 : budget. Moreover, partly historical structures are located in the commercial : regions and traffic lines. If the authorities only take traditional ^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 看不懂 : conservation into account, without regard to practical efficiency; manpower If開始不是主要子句,後面跑出分號就有問題了,用逗號 ^ : and resources will be wasted. 突然跑到這個論點也是很跳tone : Based on all factors offered above, whether a aging construction should be : removed to build a new one is a question that may be answered on a : case-by-case basis. People involved should carefully weigh up the pros and : cons of the issue before reaching a conclusion. 這個結論就是沒有答案... : ========================================================================= : 以上~感謝~ 這是對你的文章的評語,另外我再回一篇關於這個題目寫作的意見 --

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