DAVID BURTKA I’ve always known I was going to have a monogamous relationship, raise children, and be happy in love. It was the one thing in life that I never doubted for a second. I was in another relationship when I met Neil and was doing the long-distance, New York–to-L.A. thing. It was sort of on the rocks. Long distance is so hard. I was performing in the Sam Mendes version of Gypsy on Broadway when I ran into Neil on the street. He was doing the Mendes version of Cabaret at the time, and I was with a friend who knew him pretty well. I wasn’t a big Doogie Howser fan -- I had probably seen it once or twice when I was growing up -- so I gave him a, “Hey, what’s up, nice to meet you,” and that was really it. I thought it would be nice to know him, but I didn’t think in a million years I’d start dating him. 我以前就知道我要的是一對一的關係、養育小孩，快樂的活在愛的世界。對此未曾有過懷 疑、出現其他選項。當我遇到Neil時剛好處於另一段遠距離的關係，大概是N.Y到L.A.的 距離，有點瀕臨瓶頸的情況，遠距離很困難的。在街上偶遇Neil我正好參與Sam Mendes( 山姆曼德斯，美國心玫瑰情導演)在百老匯Gypsy《吉普賽女郎(或譯玫瑰舞后)》演出，同 時Neil也參與Mendes的音樂劇《歌廳(或譯酒店)》("Cabaret" )，我有個朋友跟Neil很熟 ，我不是Doogie Howser《天才小醫生》的粉絲，在小的時候可能有看過一、兩次吧，所 以我也只是對他說：“Hey, what’s up, nice to meet you,”真的就是如此。很高興認 識他，但一萬年前也沒想過跟他約會。 We began hanging out with other people, and we had a lunch or so, but nothing romantic. I thought he was adorable, though, with these amazing blue eyes that are just hypnotizing to me. I ended up breaking with my boyfriend, and a week later, Neil and I had a date. We went to see a movie -- I think it was Taking Lives with Angelina Jolie. We started hanging out every single night, and after three months, it was just non-stop. We talk on the phone at least eight times a day and text at least 25 times a day. We are, in a way, very codependent. He’s my lifeline, in an amazing way. Without him, I can’t breathe. The biggest thing is that he makes me laugh, but he’s also smart. He can do everything. I’m not kidding; I think he’s half robot. He makes me a little more grounded, and I bring out the wild side in him. Don’t get me wrong -- we fight. Our fights last five minutes, then we’re over it. And we’ re both Gemini -- we have a good twin and a bad twin, and the four of us get along really well! 我們開始跟其他朋友約出去，吃午餐之類的，但並沒有任何曖昧。我認為他很可愛，雖然 有一雙深邃藍眼令我深深著迷。當我與男友分手，一星期後我就開始與Neil約會。一起看 的電影，應該是安潔莉娜裘莉《機動殺人》（Taking Lives），之後每個夜晚都會約出去 ，就這樣連續三個月都沒停過。每天至少通電話8次、傳簡訊25次，我想我們是 codependent互相依賴又超然獨立的。他是我的生命線，以一種驚人的方式呈現，若沒有 他我將無法呼吸，他帶給我最大的意義是他能夠逗我笑，但他也非常聰明，可以做任何事 ，我不是在開玩笑，我想他是半個機器人，他讓我慢慢變得務實，我也帶出他狂野的一面 ，不要誤會我(等下要講)的意思，我們會吵架，每次吵架至少5分鐘，然後結束。我們都 是雙子座，我們有善良的雙胞胎，也有邪惡孿生，我們四個人處得很好。 The first three years was our honeymoon period. Then you settle into the relationship, and it morphs into just living, breathing. It becomes more comfortable, but it becomes a necessity -- something you can’t give up, like an addict. How has it changed me? I basically have diarrhea mouth -- I am brutally honest to the point of being a negative thing. Now I think more before I speak. 前三年是我們的蜜月期。你融入在這段關係中，搖身一變成為生活的重心，越來越適應， 變成一種必須，好像你無法戒除，如同上癮。是什麼改變了我？我以前是個有屁就放 (diarrhea mouth,haha)的人，敢說真話其實是很魯直的行為，現在在說話前會先經過大 腦思考。 Even on that first date, we talked about kids. If he hadn’t wanted kids, I don’t think we’d be together. I always thought that family was the most important thing in life, and no matter what I do, whether being a chef or an actor or a dancer, being a dad is what I do best. I am the maternal one in the relationship. For the first year, I didn’t miss a nighttime or morning with them. I think it’s important to have other lives and feed your relationship, but it’s also important that your children are raised by you. We named Gideon after an artist we collect, Gideon Rubin, and Harper after Harper Lee. To Kill a Mockingbird is one of our favorite books. 即使在第一次約會就討論小孩。如果我們不討論，我不認為我們會在一起。我一直認為家 庭是人生最重要的部分，不論我做什麼，一名廚師或演員或舞者，做一個爸爸是我能做最 好的職業，我是這段關係中偏向母親的角色(？)。在第一年我從未錯過晚上或早晨陪伴小 孩的時間，我認為擁有其他生命並以此為餵養彼此的關係與真正的扶養小孩是同要重要。 給兒子取名Gideon，因為我們喜愛收藏藝術家Gideon Rubin的畫作；以我們最喜歡的書 To Kill a Mockingbird《梅崗城的故事》的作者Harper Lee來命名我們的女兒Harper。 I don’t want people to think we’re a perfect couple. Nothing’s perfect. A relationship is work and it changes. And you go with the changes. It’s more good times than bad times, but it’s not always good. You have to overcome those issues and move on. We have a really great recipe for a wonderful relationship, but we don’t want to be the poster boys for gay relationships. We’re not trying to pretend that we are perfect. We’re just trying -- in a good, positive, loving way -- to live our lives. 我不想讓大家覺得我們是完美的一對。沒有什麼事情是絕對完美的，感情最重要的就是經 營與改變，然後順應這種改變。一段感情確實有甜蜜、有無奈，明亮多於晦暗，但卻不是 永遠春光明媚。必須去克服，繼續生活。我們確實有很多經營感情幸福快樂的秘訣，但我 們不想成為模範夫夫的模型，好像同性模範的宣傳海報一樣，標榜幸福的同Gay伴侶…… 我們也不是賣力假裝我們很好、很完美。我們只是努力用積極健康、相親相愛的方式生活 。 --

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