作者olliegirl (Humpty-Dumpty)
看板CCRomance
標題[閒聊] 原則男孩
時間Fri Sep 4 22:58:43 2009
剛剛Pie寄給我的mail
快笑死了，sorry是英文版的
The Men's Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
Finally , the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules " From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 " ON PURPOSE!
Pay careful attention to the ones in red
1. Men are NOT mind readers.( FIRST & FOREMOST RULE )
2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3 . Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
4 . Crying is blackmail.
5 . Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just tell us what you want!
6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question..
7 . Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
8 . Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
9 . If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
10 . If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
11. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
12 . Whenever possible, Pls say whatever you have to say during commercials..
we don't disturb you while you are watching your soaps and serials.
13 . Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
14 . ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.
15 . If it itches, it will be scratched. We all do that.
16 . If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We will ! act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. !
17 . If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
Expect an answer you don't want to hear.
18 . When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really .
19 . Don't ask us what we're thinking about
unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Racing or Football.
20. You have enough clothes.
21. You have too many shoes.
22. I am in shape. ! Round IS a shape!
23 . Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
But did you know men really don't mind that ? It's like camping.
--
※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 114.45.171.247
1F：推 beurs:馬桶座如果不注意是拿起來的 容易一屁股栽進去耶 XDD 09/04 23:24
2F：推 kayumaco:我就有栽過~當時比較瘦所以一屁股坐進去XDDD 09/04 23:29
3F：推 emiliaemily:我邊看邊笑…可是我想這是男人們的心聲XDDD 09/05 00:11
4F：推 novy1988:最後面那句很好笑睡沙發就像是在露營XDDDD 09/05 00:17
※ 編輯: olliegirl 來自: 114.45.171.247 (09/05 01:40)
5F：→ olliegirl:修了一下下希望比較好讀，但bbs版怎樣都很難讀... 09/05 01:40
6F：推 quasivitric:第22點快把我給笑死了 XDDD 09/05 02:13
7F：推 poohw:超好笑 越看越好笑XDD 09/05 04:20
8F：推 babbitt1007:XXXDDDDDDDDDDDD好好笑 09/05 10:55
9F：推 babbitt1007:第九個我喜歡，不過好欠奏 09/05 10:56
10F：推 salacolor:第九個我也大笑XDDDDD 09/05 12:46
11F：推 annfang:哈哈 邊看邊笑+1...超讚的 果然是男生寫的 哈哈 09/05 12:55
12F：推 runtoaurora:每一句都超好笑的 不是男人寫不出來! 09/05 14:11
13F：推 AUchef:XDDDDDDDDDDDD Round IS a shape! 09/05 18:36
14F：推 augstus:真是寫入男人心聲哈哈...Rule9...really shit..XDD 09/05 19:46
15F：推 ally815:我還蠻常聽到ok ill sleep on the punishment couch.... 09/05 19:59
16F：→ ally815:原來他是想體驗露營的感覺.... (煙） 09/05 20:00
17F：→ quasivitric:剛剛唸給Peri聽，他幾乎都同意而且大笑，還要我記住.. 09/06 07:37
18F：推 eu7908:rule22XDDDDDDDDDDD 09/06 13:46