已得原作者同意
作者: tyui0459 (TYUI) 看板: APH
標題: Fw: [翻譯] Polish Jokes 波蘭笑話集 (1)
時間: Wed Jun 5 02:16:07 2013
※ [本文轉錄自 joke 看板 #1HhUeB2u ]
作者: belleaya (台中李奧納多皮卡丘) 看板: joke
標題: [翻譯] Polish Jokes 波蘭笑話集 (1)
時間: Tue Jun 4 21:22:16 2013
(含單字補充好讀版 http://belleaya.pixnet.net/blog/post/32209779 )
Q: Did you hear about the Polak who thought his wife was trying to kill him?
A: On her dressing table he found a bottle of "Polish Remover".
Q:你有聽波拉克說他老婆想殺他嗎？
A:嗯，他發現在她桌上有一瓶去光水。(Polish remover，也可當波蘭移除者)
Q: How do you sink a polish battleship?
A: Put it in water.
Q:你如何讓一艘波蘭戰艦沉船？
A:讓船下水就可以了。
Q: What happened to the Polish hockey team?
A: They all drowned in spring training.
Q:波蘭的冰上曲棍球隊怎麼了？
A:他們春訓的時候淹死了。(春天冰融化了)
Q: Whats the difference between a smart Polak and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters
Q:一個聰明的波蘭人和一隻獨角獸有什麼不同？
A:沒有不同，都是神話生物。
Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland?
A: Because they couldn't find three wisemen and a virgin.
Q:為什麼耶穌不是出生在波蘭？
A:因為在波蘭找不到三個智者和一個處女。
Q: How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?
A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.
Q:怎麼知道波蘭婚禮中誰是新郎？
A:找穿著潔白的保齡球衫的就是了。
Q: How do you stop a Polish army on horseback?
A: Turn off the carousel.
Q:如何讓馬背上的波蘭軍停下來？
A:把旋轉木馬電源關掉。
Q: What does a polish girl do after she sucks cock?
A: Spits out the feathers.
Q:一個波蘭女孩在吸完雞雞之後會做什麼？
A:吐掉羽毛。
Q: How do you know if you're in front of a Polish firing squad?
A: They are standing in a circle.
Q:要怎麼知道你站在波蘭的行刑隊前？
A:他們會圍成一圈。(開槍時除了犯人也會射到對面的自己人)
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell - he's still got a hand-grenade between his teeth.
Q:如果一個波蘭人朝著你丟保險插梢該怎麼辦？
A:快跑！ 因為那波蘭人嘴巴還咬著手榴彈！
Q: What do you do if a Polak throws a hand-grenade at you?
A: Take the pin out and throw it back.
Q:如果一個波蘭人朝你丟手榴彈怎麼辦？
A:把插梢拔出來，丟回去。
Q: How do you take census in a Polish village?
A: Roll a quarter down the street, count the legs, divide by two,
and subtract one for the Jew who catches it.
Q:如何在波蘭小村子裡人口普查？
A:丟個銅板在地上，然後算有多少隻腳除以二，然後減一，因為撿到錢的是猶太人。
Q: Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene?
A: Stanislaus the Fire Prevention Bear of the Polish National Forest Service.
Q:在波蘭誰會戴著森林管理員的帽子然後拿著煤油燈？
A:波蘭國家森林管理處的防火熊。
Q: How did the Polish mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
A: Yellow in the front, Brown in the back!
Q:波蘭人的媽媽怎麼教孩子穿內褲？
A:把黃色穿在前面，咖啡色穿後面。
Q: How do you know you're flying over Poland?
A: Toilet paper hanging on the clotheslines.
Q:如何知道你正在波蘭上空？
A:看到曬衣繩上曬著廁紙就是了。
Q: Why do Polish names end in "ski" ?
A: Because they can't spell tobbagan.
Q:為什麼波蘭人名字後面常會加"ski"(滑雪板)？
A:因為他們不會拼"tobbagan"(雪橇)。
Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw
could not be used?
A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole.
Q:你知道華沙新蓋的足球場為什麼沒辦法啟用嗎？
A:因為不管你坐哪個位置都會被柱子擋到。
Q: Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash?
A: The pilot got cold, so he turned off the fan.
Q:你知道波蘭有一架直昇機墜毀嗎？
A:嗯，那個駕駛覺得冷所以把電風扇(螺旋槳)關掉。
Q: Did you know that Russia just bought 12,000 Septic Tanks?
A: As soon as they learn how to drive 'em, they are going to invade Poland.
Q:你知道俄國剛購入12,000輛水肥車嗎？
A:嗯啊，他們打算學會怎麼開之後就去進攻波蘭。
Q: What's the motto of the Poland?
A: Every man for himself.
Q:波蘭人的座右銘是什麼？
A:自求多福。
Q: Why are there no ice cubes in Poland?
A: They forgot the recipe.
Q:為什麼在波蘭沒有冰塊？
A:因為波蘭人忘記做冰塊的食譜了。
Q: What happens when a Polak doesn't pay his garbage bill?
A: They stop delivering.
Q:一個波蘭人如果不交垃圾的帳單會怎樣？
A:垃圾車就不會把垃圾送給他們。
Q: How do you ruin a Polish party?
A: Flush the punch bowl.
Q:如何破壞一個波蘭人的派對？
A:沖馬桶。
(這個中文有點難翻，flush是沖馬桶，punch bowl是調酒，意指他們喝屎尿當調酒)
Q: What is long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?
A: A new last name.
Q:一個波蘭新娘婚後會得到什麼又長、又硬(又難)的東西？
A:夫姓。
Q: Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?
A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born
in the world today is Hindu.
Q:為什麼波蘭的夫妻決定只生四個孩子？
A:因為他們讀報紙說每五個新生兒，就有一個是印度人。
Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter announced that
she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's yours?"
Q:當一個波蘭少女懷孕，她媽媽會怎麼說？
A:"妳確定孩子是妳的嗎？"
Q: Why did the Polak sell his water skis?
A: He couldn't find a lake with a hill in it.
Q:為什麼那波蘭人要賣掉他的衝浪板？
A:因為他找不到湖面是斜的湖。
Q: Did you hear about the Polish family that froze to death outside a theater?
A: They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the Winter."
Q:你有聽說波蘭有一家子凍死在戲院外嗎？
A:嗯啊，他們是在外頭等著進場看一部電影「冬天本戲院暫不開放」。
----
(英文原文資料來源：
http://tinyurl.com/d4cp3wu )
----
抱怨一下......痞客邦現在竟然會強制加廣告
雖說是可以用一些招式讓廣告不要出現在很醜的地方......
要出現廣告是ok畢竟用免錢的也怪不了人家
但是廣告也太醜了吧!!!
相比之下日本geocities的廣告就做得蠻美觀的
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1F：推 anjohn:手榴彈combo不錯 06/04 21:26
2F：推 EricByrnes:XD 06/04 21:27
3F：推 Lavchi:到底有多討厭這個國家 XD 06/04 21:27
4F：→ EricByrnes:還有進口垃圾的梗 蠻有趣的 06/04 21:27
5F：推 Connec:有些梗也有出現在嘲笑其他國家的笑話裡 但是新娘新婚那個XD 06/04 21:31
6F：推 ujp011604: 06/04 21:32
7F：推 ox12345xo:XD 06/04 21:33
8F：推 Frater:波蘭人是很笨嗎XDD 06/04 21:33
9F：→ CLawrence:= =啊是有多蠢啦.......... 06/04 21:59
10F：推 luie:酸爆XD 06/04 22:01
11F：推 yufw1023:也講的太蠢了吧 06/04 22:26
12F：推 p2p8ppp:XDDDDDDD 06/04 22:28
13F：推 bohsing:有這麼慘嗎||| 06/04 22:39
14F：→ p860916:hindu不是指印度人 06/04 22:40
15F：推 nothisman:pH值低到變負的了XD 06/04 22:55
16F：推 cascade1000:酸欸 06/04 22:57
17F：推 HornyDragon:機掰耶這個XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 06/04 23:00
18F：推 WomanizerNo7:幹超好笑怎麼沒人推XD 06/04 23:03
19F：推 HornyDragon:再推一個 這個推太少了吧 06/04 23:04
20F：推 iin723:讓我想起生活大爆炸 06/04 23:10
21F：推 aprendes:足球場那個柱子(Pole)是波蘭人的雙關語 06/04 23:38
22F：推 wolfjack:酸爆了。那這樣醫學系波波怎麼辦？！ 06/04 23:50
23F：推 Yakei:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 06/04 23:56
24F：推 evang902ex:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 06/04 23:58
25F：推 smallsui:GJ！ 06/05 00:31
26F：推 LoveBea:XD 06/05 00:31
27F：推 WMstudio:推~ 06/05 00:35
28F：推 residentevil:太機車了 06/05 00:36
29F：推 d042dav:雪橇應該是tobbogan? 06/05 00:38
30F：推 awaken: 06/05 00:44
31F：推 sean027:太婊了吧 06/05 00:46
32F：推 bladesaurus:柱子的梗是波蘭人!!!高調一下 06/05 01:05
33F：推 YHank:靠北這也太莫名奇妙了wwwwwwwww 06/05 01:27
34F：推 Hua0722:波蘭人到底怎麼了XD 06/05 01:32
35F：→ belleaya:pole的說明加上去囉!!謝謝~~ 06/05 01:36
36F：推 tyui0459:歐洲人都蠻討厭波蘭這國家。。 06/05 01:45
37F：推 lucifer648:波蘭是被甚麼笨蛋病毒瓦斯炸到了嗎... 06/05 01:55
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※ 轉錄者: tyui0459 (111.255.105.171), 時間: 06/05/2013 02:16:07
※ 編輯: tyui0459 來自: 111.255.105.171 (06/05 02:16)
38F：推 arctictern:旋轉木馬超有畫面的XDDDDD 06/05 22:27
39F：推 OoJudyoO:超酸的，波蘭怎麼了@@ 06/06 00:41
40F：推 j83123:超酸 可憐的波波XD 06/18 01:20