※ 引述《samchiu (闲祭秋)》之铭言： 121 The One With The Fake Monica –Part 3 [Scene: Central Perk, scene continued from earlier. They guys are sitting there like the Three Monkeys.] [场景：中央咖啡园，延续稍早的场景。男生们像三猴尊一样坐在那里。] Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks! 我真不敢相信，罗斯。烂死了！ Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already? 我不懂耶，我是说，你才刚弄到牠。 牠怎麽会已经成年了呢？ Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg. 我知道。我知道。我是说，前一天，牠还是个小东西， 然後不知不觉地，牠就变成不肯放开我的腿的小东西了。 Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him? 你没有办法留下牠吗？ Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin, ' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo. 不，不行。兽医说除非牠的环境可以让牠正常进行那种...猴子爱爱， 不然牠会变的很凶猛。我得把牠送进动物园。 Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo? 你要怎麽把猴子弄进动物园？ Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen. 我知道答案！...不对，那是把教宗弄进福斯车。 Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility. 呃，我们申请了很多所。 我们的首选自然是一座大点的州立动物园， 你知道，像是，呃，圣地牙哥...对吧？ 但那可能只是痴人说梦，因为，你知道，他不在那个州。 呃，我的兽医，呃，在迈阿密有熟人，那是比较有可能的。 Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo. 对啊，但那边离海滩像是过两条街就到了。 我是说，那一定是个派对动物园。 (Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.) (菲碧、莫妮卡和瑞秋进来) Phoebe: Hey. We found her, we found the girl. 嘿。我们找到了，我们找到那女生了。 Chandler: What? 什麽？ Joey: Did you call the cops? 你们有报警吗？ Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch. 没有。我们带她去吃午餐。 Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice. 啊，你们自创的私法正义。 Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer. 什麽？你们疯了吗？这女人偷你的钱。她偷东西，她是小偷耶。 Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding person, with this, with this amazing spirit. 知道吗？在你跟这个女人相处了大概十分钟後，你就忘了那个。 我是说，她就是这麽惊人的人，有这，这麽惊人的个性。 Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader. 对啊，她可能是从哪个啦啦队员那偷来的。 Chandler: ...Take off their hats! ...摘下她们的帽子！ Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke. 教宗坐福斯车！ ...我好爱那个笑话。 [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.] [场景：莫妮卡和瑞秋家，莫妮卡、瑞秋和伪莫妮卡在。] Rachel: No way. No way did you do this. 不可能。你不可能那样子过。 Fake Monica: Monana was very brave. 莫娜娜超勇敢的。 Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor! 那超疯狂的。我们说我们是住615号房的甘纳森家。 只为了去找包下整个六楼的波士顿塞尔提克队！ Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts... 所以当他们发现我们是，你知道，又矮又有胸部... Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me! ...他们把我们轰出去！我被旅馆轰出去耶！我耶！ Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits) 莫娜娜万岁！好，你们两个不是只活在梦里的那种人。 我要去帮我不认识的人倒咖啡了。不用等我。(离开) Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show. 喔，对了，明天我们要去试演一出百老汇剧。 Monica: 'Scuse me? 你说什麽？ Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say? 有一场《猫》的公开徵选。我想说我们到那边去， 唱唱《回忆》出尽我们的洋相。你觉得怎样？ Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class. 不不不不不不。想想你是在跟谁说话。 我是说，我又不像你。我...我甚至不敢站在舞蹈班前面。 Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background. 好，那大概只是因为你的阿米什出身。 Monica: What? 什麽？ Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right? 呃，你是宾州荷兰人，对吧？ Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned. 对。直到我买了把吹风机，结果就被排挤了。 Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society? 我...我以前也跟你一样。 结果有一天我看了一部改变我一生的电影。 你有看过《春风化雨》吗？ Monica: Uh-huh. 呃.恩。 Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do. 我觉得那部电影真是超级的...无聊。 我是说，在最後那个小孩自杀的那段，就为了他不能去演戏？ 那是怎样？就好像，小鬼，再等一年，离家出走，随便找个社区剧场。 我走出戏院然後想说，「我人生的那两个小时再也要不回来了」 那个想法比什麽其他我不敢做的事都要可怕。 Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire. 哇。那我绝对不建议你看《窈窕奶爸》。 [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.] [场景：莫妮卡和瑞秋家，时间经过。除了乔伊和莫妮卡的四人在]。 Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him. (读信) 喔天啊。 (对马歇尔) 我们不能进史克蓝登。 (对其他人) 那是我们的保险牌。他们连狗跟牛都收。看吧？ 我不知道谁比较难过，是我还是他。 Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt. 我会说是那只椅子比较难过。 Ross: Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him? 马歇尔！马歇尔！马歇尔，不行！好孩子。看吧，怎麽会没人要他？ Rachel: Oh, somebody will. 喔，有人会要的。 Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin? (进来) 你知道已经有一个乔瑟夫史达林了吗？ Chandler: You're kidding. 你开玩笑吧。 Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people. You'd think you would've known that! 显然他是一个俄国独裁者还杀了一堆人。还以为你会知道这种事耶！ Chandler: Y'know, you'd think I would've. 知道吗，你以为我会知道咧。 Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be? 菲碧。你可以帮我想一个很棒的艺名吗？ Phoebe: ...Flame Boy. ...火焰小子。 --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.231.37.233 ※ 编辑: samchiu (61.231.60.67), 11/26/2014 10:49:10