※ 引述《PowLluimniz (波西米亚)》之铭言： : The only question I have is that if you need : to capitalize the final "s" as in cat"S" (6). I think the capitalized s makes a vivid symbol of a lying cat's sweet tail^^ Like it so much for it gives an impressive image~ If it can be enlengthed with more details of the girl, the sky, the cat, or whatever, then this poem would be better than a merely practice, right? "Sent me silver sandal, sing me no more sadcore, simple love saves you single sinner in this sinking world" If it's like that, then we know that the girl may have got a lover. "Slashed slaves, and all that slaughters under the sky, a sea of skeletones brave to smile" If it's like this, then she might be wondering about some miserables. "Sixteenth sleepless night, slipping slightly to your left side, sluggish and small, feeling like a smashed slope" If it's like that, then she might need a talk? Don't know if I express myself well, sorry~ I just think that your creative poem could be greater if it describes some thoughts more clearly. --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 61.229.142.155