作者Elderoops (寂寞自找)
看板joke
标题Re: [笑话] 网路笑话 老外学中文
时间Sat Jul 27 08:57:40 2013
其实英文也是很奇怪的...我几年前看过所以应该是大OP(? 但是觉得有趣所以让
我OP一下XDDD
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English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in
England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads,
which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't
fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is
teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose,
2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English
speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what
language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and
send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim
chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are
opposites?
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent?
Have you ever seen a horsefull carriage or a strapfull gown? Met a sung hero or
experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated,
gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those people who ARE spring
chickens or who would actually hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can
burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in
which an alarm goes off by going on.
※ 引述《azym (ddd)》之铭言：
: 某老外苦学汉语 10 年，到东方参加汉语考试。 试题为请解释下列句子。
: 1. 冬天：能穿多少穿多少； 夏天：能穿多少穿多少。
: 2. 剩女产生的原因有两个： 一是谁都看不上， 二是谁都看不上。
: 3. 捷运里听到一个女孩大概是给男朋友打电话，“我已经快到西一门了，
: 你快出来往捷运站走。如果你到了，我还没到，你就等着吧。
: 如果 我到了，你还没到，你就等着吧。”
: 4.单身人的来由：原来是喜欢一个人，现在是喜欢一个人。
: 5.两种人容易被甩:一种不知道什麽叫做爱，一种不知道什麽叫做爱。
: 6.想和某个人 在一起的两种原因:一种是喜欢上人家，另一种是喜欢上人家。
: 7.一个男同事和一个女同事上班同时迟到，但女的没被扣薪水，男的被扣了， 男的就问
: 女同事“你为什麽没有被扣薪水？”女的说：“因为我睡过头了。 ”男的说：“我也睡
: 过头了呀。
: 老外泪流满面，交白卷回国了
: 又过了十年，老外苦练汉学，又再度挑战汉语的博大精深
: 试题为
: 请解释下文中每个「意思」的意思。
: 阿呆给长官送红包时，两个人的对话颇有意思。
: 长官：「你这是什麽意思？」
: 阿呆：「没什麽意思，意思意思。」
: 长官：「你这就不够意思了。」
: 阿呆：「小意思，小意思。」
: 长官：「你这人真有意思。」
: 阿呆：「其实也没有别的意思。」
: 长官：「那我就不好意思了。」
: 阿呆：「是我不好意思。」
: 老外再度泪流满面回国...
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