作者 tsunami (Runaway) 站内 nthuee00 标题 [转录]转寄 : Lesson 时间 Thu Feb 17 13:55:21 2000 ─────────────────────────────────────── ※ 本文转录自 [nthuee96] 看板 作者: Uranus (台湾地图王子) 站内: nthuee96 标题: [转录]转寄 : Lesson 时间: Wed Feb 16 18:02:58 2000 ※ 本文转录自 [Uranus] 信箱 作者: [email protected] 标题: 转寄 : Lesson 时间: Wed Feb 16 16:14:57 2000 > 材自中国湖北师范学校英听教材, > > Lesson number one 第一课 > ---------------------------------- > A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. > 有一只 乌鸦整天就坐在树上，但就是不做事。 > > A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, > 之後就有一只兔子看到 乌鸦 就问说: > > "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" > 我能学你这样子就坐在这儿整天不用做事吗？ > > The crow answered: "Sure, why not." > 乌鸦 就说啦：当然可以，为啥不行？ > > So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. > 所以，兔子就在树的底下休息起来， > > All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. > 突然的，有一只狐狸出现把兔子给吃了。 > > Moral of the story is: > 这故事告诉你： > > To be sitting and doing nothing, > 想要整天坐着不做事， > > you must be sitting very, very high up. > 你就必须高高在上...... > > > Lesson number two 第二课 > ---------------------------------- > > A turkey was chatting with a bull. > 有一只火鸡跟一只公牛在聊天。 > > "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," > 火鸡说：我真的很想爬到这树枝头上耶！ > > sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." > 但是我没力气..... > > "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"replied the bull. > 牛说：嗯......没关系，那你要不要吃一点我的牛大便(英译：狗屁，屁话呢？) > > "They're packed with nutrients." > 我的牛大便是很营养的喔。 > > The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually > gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. > 火鸡就吃了很多牛大便，就变的很强壮足够让火鸡爬上第一排的树枝。 > > The next day, after eating some more dung, > 接下来的一天，火鸡又吃了很多牛大便(狗屁，屁话） > > he reached the second branch. > 让火鸡可以爬上第二排枝头。 > > Finally after a fornight, > 最後，两个礼拜过後， > > there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. > 火鸡终於爬上枝头很安稳的在休息， > > Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, > 好景不常，一位农夫发现这只火鸡， > > who shot the turkey out of the tree. > 开枪把火鸡打死了。 > > Moral of the story: > 这故事告诉你： > > Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there. > （狗屁，屁话）或许可以让你爬的更高，但不可能让你成功一辈子。 > > > Lesson number three 第三课 > ---------------------------------- > > When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. > 当一个身体刚完成的时候，所有的器官想要当这身体的老大。 > > The brain said, " I should be Boss because I control the whole body's > responses and functions. > 头脑就说；我应该当老大，因为我支配着整个身体的运作，反应跟功能。 > > The hands said, " We should be the Boss because we do all the work and > earn all the money." > 接着手就说了；我应该当老大因为都是我在做事赚钱。 > > And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until > finally the asshole spoke up. > 所以这样的争执就一直继续着，心脏，肺脏跟眼睛也加入争执，最後屁眼（英译： > 白痴）说话了......我要当老大！！！ > > All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. > So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. > 所有的器官一同取笑屁眼想当老大，屁眼一气之下，将自己塞起来，不爽，罢工去了 > > > Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet > twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. > 在很短的时间内，眼睛，手，脚就开始不听使唤，心脏，肺脏也开始失去功能 > > Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss,so the > motion was passed. > 最後，大家还是决议让屁眼当老大， > > All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed > out the shit! > 所以, 当所有的器官都在做事时, 就老大坐着拉屎 (英译：说屁话) > > Moral of the story: > 这故事告诉你： > > You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do. > 想当老大？哈！任何白痴都可以当老大！！！～～～ > > --

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