Doug Mirabelli's day (Doug Mirabelli的一天) --- ˙9:00 shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed 9:00 抖掉身上的蜘蛛网後起床 ˙9:01 lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands farts 5 more times 9:01 放了个响屁然後撒了泡90秒的尿 ˙9:03 drinks 3 raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge 9:03 学洛基吞三颗生鸡蛋，然後打开冰箱 ˙9:05 take out leftovers from the Kowloon pupu platter for 3 he picked up last night 9:05 拿出昨晚吃剩的宝宝盘 (pupu platter) ˙9:15 grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone 9:15 对着老婆碎啐念，给小孩每人20元让他们不要来鲁洨 ˙9:17 takes a dump 9:17 撇大条 ˙9:22 sings Van Halen in the shower 9:22 边洗澡边唱Van Halen的歌 ˙9:25 shaves and leaves his goatee 9:25 刮胡子，留下那撮山羊须 ˙9:30 takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror, screams out loud "Dougie is going deep tonight" 9:30 拿着球棒全裸站在镜子前，大吼"Dougie is going deep tonight!" ˙9:45 puts on his cowboy boots and tight jeans and tank-top and gets ready to leave 9:45 穿上牛仔靴，紧身牛仔裤还有小背心准备出门 ˙9:50 grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he'll see them tomorrow 9:50 再次对着老婆和小孩碎碎念，然後跟他们说明天见 ˙9:57 pulls onto Rt-1 with Led Zeppelin blaring, cuts three people off, gives the finger to all three people 9:57 边开车边听Led Zeppelin鬼叫，途中拦下三人对他们比中指 ˙10:15 pulls into Fenway park, tells clubhouse parking attendant to make sure he blocks Nomar in 10:15 开进Fenway park，要停车场管理员确定他的车可以挡住Nomar的车 ˙10:16 puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his families' life if there is one scratch on his truck 10:16 尻住小孩子的头，并恐吓他和他的家人，不能刮到他的车 ˙10:22 walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the first time today and 350th time this month, asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend Lou Merloni 10:22 走进clubhouse然後骂Nomar死gay，是今天的第一次和这个月的第350次， 问Nomar想不想男友Lou Merloni ˙10:27 takes a shit, leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by 10:27 撇大条不关门，对每个走过的人哭爸哭母 ˙10:30 gives Nomar a dead leg and calls him a homo 10:30 骂Nomar死gay ˙10:33 stuffs Derek Lowe in a locker and pisses on him 10:33 把Derek Lowe塞进衣物柜然後在他身上尿尿 ˙10:37 goes through a 10 minute hand shake with his boy Tim Wakefield 10:37 跟老魏握手10分钟 ˙10:45 takes Pokey's headphones off and steps on them, says until he is hitting .250, no music 10:45 把Pokey Resee的耳机拿走，跟他说打击率超过2成五以前不准听音乐 ˙10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says "Is Dougie DHing the first game " 10:50 把粉柯南拦住 "今天第一场比赛让我打DH，客以吗？" ˙10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling 10:51 粉柯南跑走躲到Schilling背後 ˙10:55 Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this: 375 72 Hr's 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S 10:55 告诉Trot如果让他打满整季，他可以缴出.375, 72 Hr's, 52 Doubles, 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S这样的成绩 ˙11:17 writes back response to fan's Letter "Hey Pussy, I don't wear batting gloves because they are for pussies like your boyfriend Nomar " 11:17 回信给球迷 " 嗨婊子! 我不戴打击手套因为那是给Nomar那款死娘炮用的 " ˙11:30 Walks out to batting practice with a tank-top on 11:30 穿着小背心去打击练习 ˙11:45 after no stretching steps into the cage, ignores the 5 bunts standard procedure 11:45 不做暖身运动直接走进打击区，跳过应该要做的触击练习 ˙11:47 takes 25 cuts, hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8 11:47 打了25球，17球飞过绿色怪物，剩下8球挥棒落空 ˙11:48 calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go bang Nomar for mixing in a curveball after Dougie hit one onto the pike 11:48 骂喂球教练死gay,告诉喂球教练等他把球打到路上後，记得等一下 掺几颗曲球给Nomar打 ˙11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him wedgie, calls him a pickle smoker 11:55 把Nomar压倒，再把他内裤拉到套在头上骂他死gay ˙12:00 Dougie's daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci's arrives 12:00 每天必吃的午餐"双层巴马乾酪烤鸡"送来了 ˙12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce into Nomar's locker 12:07 吃饱後把剩下的酱倒到Nomar的衣物柜 ˙12:15 Tito posts lineup, Dougie sees he is not the DH, Calls Francona a p*ssy. Francona runs behind Schilling 12:15 公布先发名单，发现自己不是DH以後骂粉柯南婊子，粉柯南躲到Schilling背後 ˙12:25 Dougie gets naked and takes 25 swings in front of the clubhouse mirror, announcing "Dougie is going deep tonight " 12:25 全裸站在休息室镜子前练习25下挥棒，大吼" Dougie is going deep tonight! " ˙12:45 Takes a shit, uses Nomar's 350 dollar silk shirt to wipe his ass 12:45 再撇一次大条，用Nomar350元的丝绸内衣擦屁屁 ˙1:05 game starts, Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind Schilling 1:05 比赛开始！跟粉柯南抱怨不想去牛棚陪投手热身，粉柯南躲到Schilling背後 ˙1:25 Dougie announces he is ready to pinch hit in the bottom of the first for Nomar 1:25 Dougie说他已经准备好一局下的时候代打Nomar ˙1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in, Dougie tells him he sucks and will back at Trenton (minor league) by 7 tonight 1:45 看到Abe Alvarez走过，跑去跟他说he sucks，还有今晚七点他就会被送回去 Trenton(小联盟)了 ˙1:55 Dougies 4 fenway frank arrive, pays with Nomar's credit card 1:55 四客fenway frank送来了，用Nomar的信用卡付帐 ˙2:15 finishes shopping with Nomar's credit card, maxed it out at Auto Zone 2:15 在Auto Zone用Nomar的信用卡买东西 ˙2:30 dozes off 2:30 睡一觉先 ˙3:30 sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells whole team they suck except for him and Wakefield 3:30 醒来发现红袜落後，跑到休息室干谯，"全队除了我和老魏以外，通通都是废物！" ˙3:33 announces himself ready to pinch hit 3:33 准备好要代打 ˙4:30 sox lose game, Dougie tells Francona he should have DH'ed him, Francona runs away 4:30 红袜输了，跟粉柯南嘴炮应该要排他DH的... 粉柯南落荒而逃 ˙5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for pussies 5:00 告诉Nomar只有娘们才打一垒安打 ˙5:30 Dougie takes Batting Practice again, refuses to bunt 5:30 再去一次打击练习，拒绝练触击 ˙5:33 Dougie hit 22 pitches over the wall 11 fair, 11 foul, all pulled, he missed 15 pitches 5:33 把22球轰到墙外，11球界内11球界外，全是用拉的，其他15球挥棒落空 ˙6:00 Dougie see’s name in lineup, calls Fancona a pussy for batting him 8th. Francona hides behind Schilling 6:00 晚上的先发名单出来了，不爽被排在八棒干谯粉柯南臭婊子，粉柯南躲到 Schilling 背後 ˙6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup 6:05 强烈要求想打第四棒 ˙6:25 announces that Dougie is going deep tonight 6:25 大吼"Dougie is going deep tonight！" ˙6:30 dinner arrives, 2 steaks from the Capital Grille. Dougie pours steak juice into Nomar's locker, makes Derek Lowe eat the fat 6:30 晚餐的两块牛排牛排送来了，把牛排酱倒进Nomar的衣物柜，叫Lowe吃剩下的肥油 ˙6:35 Dougie gives D Lowe an atomic wedgie 6:35 把D Lowe的内裤拉起来套在头上 ˙7:00 tells Wakefield the show some balls tonight and don't throw anything in the dirt 7:00 叫老蝴蝶今晚投些坏球但不要暴投 ˙7:10 scoreless first. Dougie tells Francona it must be the catching 7:10 第一局没失分，跟粉柯南炫耀是捕手的功劳 ˙7:25 Dougie tells fans in on deck circle he is going deep 7:25 在打击准备区跟球迷喇赛说他会尻一支大的 ˙7:27 Dougie screams at pitcher, tells him he is a pussy and he is taking him deep 7:27 骂投手婊子 ˙7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall, coasts into second. Almost gets thrown out 7:30 干了一发打中绿色怪物，滑进二垒的时候差点被触杀 ˙7:31 Tells pitcher his fastball sucks. Tells shortstop and second baseman that he didn't get all of it 7:31 对投手说他的快速球实在有够鸟，对游击手和二垒手说你们接不到 ˙8:15 Dougie ropes a rocket to third, third baseman takes all day and still turns a double play on Dougie 8:15 打了三垒方向的强袭球，双杀打。 ˙8:16 fans boo Dougie 8:16 被球迷嘘 ˙8:17 Dougie tells family of 4 to @#%$ off and steals some kids hot dog on way to dugout 8:17 回骂球迷F*** off，回休息区的路上偷了几个小孩的热狗 ˙8:18 Dougie is tired and is happy he hit into a double play, he did not want to run the bases anymore 8:18 因为很累不想跑垒，所以打了双杀打觉得很爽 ˙9:10 Dougie strikes out on inside pitch after crushing 4 foul home runs. Calls pitcher/catcher/ump all pussies 9:10 连续打了四支界外全垒打以後被一颗内角球三振，骂投手/捕手/裁判 婊子 ˙9:30 9th inning. Dougie is exhausted. Walks out to the mound and calls Embree a pussy and tells him to just bring the heat. Dougie wants to get home 9:30 第九局，已经全身无力，走上投手丘告诉Embree这个婊子，投快速球就对了， 想赶快回家了 ˙9:50 Dougie showers and walks around the clubhouse naked. Tells the Globe's Dan Shaugnessy and Gordon Edes to blow him 9:50 洗完澡在休息室遛鸟，叫Globe的记者Dan Shaugnessy和Gordon Edes帮他吹 ˙9:55 Dougie shaves and leaves a goatee 9:55 刮胡子，留下那撮山羊须 ˙10:00 Knocks Nomar off his exercise bike. Calls him a homo singles hitter and leaves clubhouse 10:00 把Nomar从健身脚踏车上推下来，骂他是个只会打一垒安打的死gay， 然後离开球场 ˙10:10 cuts off 4 redsox fans. Gives the bird to everyone near him 10:10 拦下四个红袜迷，给他们Cocaine(bird？) ˙10:25 arrives at Kowloon Chinese Restaurant on Rt 1 10:25 到 Rt 1上的一家中国餐厅 ˙10:45 sits down at bar and digs into his pupu platter for 3 10:45 坐在吧台吃了三盘宝宝盘 ˙12:00 stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn, goes for a dip in his above ground pool 12:00 摇摇晃晃的回到家，把卡车停在家门前的草地上，顺便在门前的小游泳池 (Above Ground Pool)里泡个澡 ˙12:10 leaves tighty whitey's on his neighbor's windshield 12:10 把内裤晾在邻居车子的挡风玻璃上 ˙12:15 walks into house naked and screams "who saw my bomb I hit tonight???" 12:15 光着身体走进门大吼，"有没有看到我晚上那发大支的啊？" ˙12:30 wakes up whole neighborhood 12:30 附近邻居全被吵醒 ˙12:45 takes 35 swings naked and orders porn 12:45 裸体挥棒35次，然後点A片来看 ˙12:55 pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie 12:55 拿出一桶肯德基外带全家餐准备边吃边看A片 ˙1:15 Dougie passes out on couch 1:15 在沙发上睡死了 --- 原文的连结已经不见了，刚好之前有备份到，所以顺便把它贴出来， 然後补上之前Bigbra板主遗漏的是有翻错的。 感谢原翻译BIGBRA！ -- Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that? Tommy : It's me belt, Turkish. Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers? Tommy : It's for protection. Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"? --

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