SO THE THREE of us were in the cool of the dugout, 21/2 hours before the first pitch, talkin' baseball, when we were struck by a ghastly realization. There are only four or five really good baseball teams. Out of 30. Boy, do players miss their tonics, the assorted creams, clears, greenies and "special" spinach. Or are teams simply not as good as they used to be? The coach, the longtime observer and myself agreed that the overall quality of teams — and, of course, the players — certainly is lower in 2006 than it was in 1966. Or in 1986. Or, for that matter, 1996. It's lower, indeed, than it was two years ago. No wonder Sammy Sosa, retired and disgraced, wants to come back. As 30 teams in two leagues stumble toward the dog days, many resemble a pack of slobbering mutts, including some sure to be in the playoffs. The overwhelming majority are downright mediocre — including the two in the Bay Area. The A's and Giants have played some of the least appealing ball they've cranked out since the late'90s, when the Giants were fumigating Candlestick Park and the A's were unloading Mark McGwire in part so he'd have better teammates. There is a very good reason each team sent just one man, a pitcher, to this year's All-Star Game. The Giants (50-47 entering Saturday) wouldn't be so unexceptional if members of their 40-plus gang were still in their mid-30s, or if they still had Joe Nathan and Francisco Liriano. And the A's (51-46) most assuredly wouldn't be so ordinary if they'd had the services of Rich Harden and the Milton Bradley who has been unleashed since the All-Star break. As it is, both teams, holes and all, have stayed at or above .500, which has kept them at or near the top of their divisions. This says less about the local teams than it says about the competition. The AL West, once one of the strongest divisions in the game, has fallen to the level of the NL West, generally among the most consistently weak. So plain are these divisions, the standings could be completely reversed by next Saturday. And flipped around again a week later. Which can't be said of the AL East, still the best division in baseball. It has the Red Sox and Yankees, two of the five quality clubs, with Blue Jays knocking at the door to goodness. The other 27 teams would have a hard time putting together a squad to compete with one assembled from Boston, New York and Toronto. And if you create a second All-Star team from the Mets, Tigers and defending champion White Sox — the other three truly skillful teams — the remaining 24 teams wouldn't have much hope of staying on the same field. At the other end are the dregs of the game. The Royals, Pirates, Cubs and Devil Rays. Each defective and unsightly, not to mention worthy of all the ridicule they get. The other teams might as well be names in a cap, existing somewhere between nondescript and respectable. Virtually indistinguishable. The Angels supposedly have the ingredients to win 95 games, yet they're on a pace to win 81. The Braves, baseball's most reliable contender, are on a pace to win 76. Which puts them with Seattle, Philadelphia, Milwaukee, Houston and Colorado — all slightly ahead of Baltimore, Cleveland and Florida. St. Louis leads the NL Central despite Chris Carpenter being its only first-rate starting pitcher. The Cardinals were so desperate they signed Sidney Ponson, who has become the Jeff George of baseball. Too tempting to pass up, until you catch his act a few times. The Cardinals are so average that Cincinnati, which last week made one of the dumbest trades in recent memory, is just a few games back. Yes, the Reds are thinking playoffs. And they would be, if not for ... Aaron Harang. Harang is where another former Athletic, Aaron Small, was last summer, winning in defiance of logic. Don't be surprised if some team puts Jimmy Haynes in its rotation — and gets results. That's where we are in baseball. Journeymen like Harang are quality starters. This helps explain the continued dominance of oldsters like Kenny Rogers, Curt Schilling and Mike Mussina. As well as the rediscovered magic of Tom Glavine. As well as Roger Clemens' refusal to stay away. There was a time when jobs were plentiful for left-handed relievers. Now they're plentiful for anyone with an arm. Because today's bats lack a certain, um, gusto, a mug like Ponson can find his way to ... the Yankees. Baseball surely will bounce back. It will re-energize itself and provide an abundance of outstanding players and teams. Real stars. Meanwhile, we have what we have, competition only slightly deeper than boxing's heavyweight division. --

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