here's my story, hope it'd do the trick I fell for this girl back during my sophomore, she had the sweetest smile I've ever felt, It took me another year to know her, to make sure my feelings were more than a flash in a pan. I never showed my cards, I never made attempts, I was just on call... always set to give her a ride, always opened to help her with her seminar paper reviews, always willing to recruit a midnight snack raid... Whenever she called, I was always there. Summer, prior to my junior college, I left for UCLA summer-sessions. Two months of info-bombardment and improvment, I was ready for the task. I came to her with a box of Swedish chocolates, noticing her hand holding with a great friend of mine, Ondre. A true gentlemen, a great guy, and mostly..handsome. As it sould, the chocolate became just a great "souvenir" from CA. since it was for me..her happiness that mattered, and the 3 of us had been used to hanging out altogether, I sticked around...in my defense, a monitor to Ondre, to see through she gets what's rightfully hers. 2-full years of sweets and sours. I still loved to see her smile, her grins, and the way she laughs at my lousy jokes. But every time they cuddle, it kills me. it's a tight grip within your chest, as if your heart's stopping, suffering from hypoxia, all I could do, was wear on my public smile (It looks authentic, I've worked on it.) and secretly turn away to breathe. Graduation day, thankfully they were still a loving couple.... I gave her a letter in calligraphy, which I worked for two years to perfect I said it was scribbles for her to keep, thought it'd be something hearty to read someday in the future..... Gladly, she didn't understand it or didn't read it at all.. two weeks later she asked me out to join them to a ride..... at least she wouldn't be carrying this burden it's almost been a year by now, though I blocked her out of communication completely. I still image her presence late night at work. I want to be capable, better, someone she could rely on. grad school, linguistics abilities, knowledge, manners.... It's quite heavy if you're doing this shit on your own. --

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