This is a Dear John letter But I still don't have the courage to post it on somewhere he can see. Delete this article if I disobey any rule... ------------------------------ I want to take days off for a period of time Maybe it is good for us to have more spaces You don't like to talk too much about the future, about any possibility... But I just hope if one day we have to say goodbye, we don't hate each other. Then we won't reject all the happy days in the past. I am always afraid of a terrible ending relationship. We have to talk, to communicate in order to prevent this... the topic that you will never like. I still remember 2 or 3 years ago, I vowed that I will never leave you unless you say it first. Then, you know, I will never give up until one day some unpredictable reason...How naive I was! But now, I find I can't keep it. I feel limited and unendurable... I always think if you say it first, I won't hold hatred toward you. I will still thank all the times you are with me and miss you. How about you? Will you choose to let me go or choose to hate? I'm afraid of your answer. Imagining days that I have to be alone, I am also afraid. But, I have started to imagine it. I don't like shopping alone, seeing movie alone, get online alone, having tea time alone, and feeling like being alone. But, I've started to imagine it. Not cheating you. When good friends get along, they feel a strong sense of identification. I think it is more like this as “lovers.” I am keen to learn from you. I hope you can give me a wider horizon. I hope I will be happy and enjoy the time with you no matter how upset I am then. However, the longer I am with you, the more I see myself. I got angry easily. I don’t like see myself this way. There is no future for couples not growing together. Maybe it’s about time for us to think. How do you define “lovers”? As time passed by, the pattern of our relationship distract from the way used to be called “lovers.” We don’t help each other to put on the helmet anymore. We don’t regard the peaceful and quiet time as the most enjoyable time anymore. We don’t feel excited and satisfied by just holding hands anymore. The only fact is that we are just accustomed to the current situation—being accompanied by another person. You might say I am just finding excuses to leave you. I think we possess different kinds of characteristics. 4 years is long enough to test belief. Now I choose to stop testing, stop trying, stop expecting. Just let’s end here and now! Then we all remember the happiness, but hatred. Don’t let me hate you and find more excuse to leave you. I need you to think with me. How long can you maintain the current condition? Just let me know. --

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