我目前正在进行一篇英文同人小说的翻译，纯粹是为了对这篇小说的热爱， 完全无偿，译好後会放上同人小说的论坛去供对同样主题有着相同喜好的网 友们欣赏。然而我一来英文程度不佳，二来发现翻译是一门对我来说还相当 待学的学问，因此斗胆来此向热心板友们求助。 因为不是从头翻起，为了让愿意帮我订正的板友了解大致文意，我想作个前 情提要： 小说的背景是在一个平行世界中，人们可以蓄奴，罪犯也多半会被登记为奴 隶对待。主角之一John是一个积极投入废奴运动的恐怖份子，被捉起来当奴 隶，他的大脑中埋了电线使他在主人喊出关键字时会感到剧痛，而在服从主 人命令後得到快感。 经过一些事件，John被惩罚「无论何时都不能离开他的主人Sherlock，必须 随时和他待在同一个房间里」。这是为了使他认识到他已不再自由，至於 Sherlock本人相当注重的隐私，「你只是一件家具，我为甚麽要对一张椅子 感到害羞？当我不想被你看时，我只要命令你退到角落去」。 於是John要睡在Sherlock床边的地板上，可以裹着毯子。 以下是我对照着英文原作翻的结果，我用紫红色标示出我非常没信心、认为 应该有翻错的句子。由於这篇小说本身性质就…怪怪的（囧），所以情节描 述中会用到的字词也不算文雅，以下的情节是发生在洗手间中的，可能会有 些人对其中用到的句子或字词感到不快，请板友慎入。 --- The epiphany came on the morning of the second day of John’s punishment. Sherlock got up just before six as usual, and John, stiff and aching from a poor night’s sleep almost didn’t keep up with him as he strode across the hall to the flat’s toilet. Perhaps Sherlock was a bit overtired himself because he forgot to tell John to look at the wall before whipping himself out and emptying his bladder. John, feeling groggy and surly, wasn’t in the mood to correct the oversight. 灵感在John开始他的惩罚後到来。Sherlock像平时一样在六点後起床，而John， 浑身酸痛、几乎没怎麽睡，差点跟不上他大步横过大厅走到浴室去的脚步。 可能Sherlock也把他自己弄得太累了吧，因为他忘了在他解手时叫John看向 着墙面。John感觉自己昏沉阴郁，也没心情去提醒他这个小疏失。 So he stood and stared. He might have grinned a bit, because watching the his “master” the “great genius” scratching his arse and filling the pot made him seem a lot less of an implacable god and more of an ordinary human being. But for a collar, John thought, we would be the same. 所以他就站着看。他可能笑了一点吧，因为看到他的「主人」，这个「伟大 的天才」边抓屁股边尿尿的样子，使他大幅减少了不可质疑的神性，更让人 感到他也是个普通人类。 Mid-piss, Sherlock happened to turn his head slightly and realised that John was faced the wrong direction. John saw a ripple of tension snake its way over Sherlock’s body, making his arm shake and his back straighten. Sherlock’s eyes widened and his hand pinched down harder on the head of his cock, cutting off the flow. His nostrils flared as he breathed in quickly. And then it was gone, Sherlock’s face was a blank mask, he quite deliberately turned away. 尿到一半时，Sherlock微微转头，发现John面朝着错误的方向。John看见一股 紧张感从Sherlock身上蔓开，使他的手臂震动、背部僵直。Sherlock的眼睛睁 大，手将阴茎前端捏住，停止小便。他的鼻孔歙张，呼吸急促。等他平息下来， Sherlock的脸像张空白面具，刻意地转过头去。 “Curiosity appeased?” he asked dryly. “I’m sure you’ve seen plenty of cocks before.” He then let out the last dribbling spurts with a stiffness in his posture that suggested he was being valiantly defiant. 「满足好奇心了吗？」他乾乾地问道。「我确定你以前看过更多阴茎。」然 後他以一种僵硬的姿势让最後一股尿流射出来，彷佛是在挑衅。 Actually, John could barely see Sherlock’s limp member at all. Between his hand and the folds of his clothes, Sherlock’s modesty was nearly entirely preserved. John considered mentioning this but then he realised something important: Sherlock was miserably body shy. 事实上，John几乎没有看到Sherlock柔软的阴茎。在他的手和衣褶之间， Sherlock的私处差不多全被挡着。John被提醒并明白了这件重要的事： Sherlock觉得自己的身体很羞耻。 And wouldn’t you know it, suddenly Sherlock reminded John of the sad blighters who used to wait until everyone was finished and dressing before sneaking into the showers after sport. John fought to keep a snicker back. 那瞬间Sherlock让John想起了那个总在大家洗浴着装完毕後，才偷偷摸摸去 淋浴的可怜虫。John努力不让他的窃笑被看到。 As humiliated as John had been peeing in front of Sherlock yesterday, it wasn’t like he’d never been in situations where he’d been naked in front of others before. And most of them hadn’t been terrible experiences at all. John had shared showers with his fellow rugby players, hell, he’d taken dumps in front of his fellows in the army. And in between, he’d gone skinny dipping with friends and even poked his naked bum out of a car window once on his drunken way back from the championship game against Brighton. The trick was to decide that your body was a bloody gift to mankind and that everyone one around was privileged to get a glimpse of it. Either that or you didn’t give a flying fuck. John waffled between the two approaches. Much as he wasn’t a fan of exposing himself to Sherlock, he’d had a fair degree of experiences coping with bodily exposure. And now that John was over the shock of being ordered to do it, he could probably channel the carefree attitude of his youth. John在昨天已经被以在Sherlock面前撒尿作为羞辱，这不像过去他在别人面 前赤身露体的状况。大部份这样的经验都不太糟。John和他的橄榄球队员一 起冲澡过，该死，他还在他的陆军同袍面前拉过屎。在这之间，他还和朋友 裸泳过，甚至曾经在庆祝球队获胜时，烂醉如泥地把他光溜溜的屁股探出车 窗外。这些事代表着他视自己的身体是一个美好的恩赐，而他身边的人获准 瞥见它。若非如此，就是没让别人高潮过。John可能是在这两者之间的模糊 地带。他并不是个亟欲在Sherlock面前暴露自己的狂热粉丝，他有个公平地 展露身体的经验。现在他被命令去做这些事，他难以将这和年轻时愉快的经 验连结在一起。 But Sherlock had had none of that. The man didn’t even use public urinals. 但是Sherlock没有这样的经验。这个男人甚至连公厕都没上过。 A slow smile crept across John’s face. He had power in this. If the goal was to wear John down through embarrassment, Sherlock had finally made a real tactical mistake. 一抹微笑缓缓地爬过John的脸。他在这方面得到了主控权。如果这个惩罚的 目的是要用羞辱来削弱John的意志，Sherlock终究犯了战略上的错误。 So instead admitting he hadn’t seen much of anything, John said, “I don’t know, you could give a better show. You a grower or a shower?” This was pure locker room cheek. He knew he was going to pay for it, but damn if it didn’t feel good. 所以取代承认他没看到甚麽不该看的，John说，「我不知道，你可以秀得更 好。你是还在长，还是个表演者？」这是纯粹的locker room cheek。他知 道他得为此付出代价，但这感觉他妈的爽快。 --

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