作者ladyspider (ladyspider)
看板Eng-Class
标题[请益] 这句话哪边有问题呢??
时间Mon Oct 3 23:27:16 2011
A poster composed of different elements, besides the main function to
communicate information, execution of graphic, photos, patterns, symbols,
script and colors are also important.
这个是我的proposal里面的一段话，
editor 表示 : I am not able to understand this.
是这句话太过台式英文了吗??
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※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 111.240.194.74
※ 编辑: ladyspider 来自: 111.240.194.74 (10/03 23:28)
※ 编辑: ladyspider 来自: 111.240.194.74 (10/03 23:28)
1F：推 tengharold:I am not able to understand this +1 10/04 02:01
2F：→ tengharold:一句话请勿包含太多重点。光看句构，主句是 a poster 10/04 02:02
3F：→ tengharold:composed of different elements...are also important 10/04 02:03
4F：→ tengharold:但这样的主句不仅be动词不对，内容也看不懂。 10/04 02:04
5F：→ heziying:好像是两句混在一起 是这样子吗? 一个是about a poster's 10/04 10:39
6F：→ heziying:elements.另一个是about important functions 10/04 10:39
7F：→ heziying:either make it into one sentence with tight logic, 10/04 10:40
8F：→ heziying:or split it into 2 separate sentences ^^ 10/04 10:40
9F：推 DarkD:目前看来是并在一起，但referent不明以及beV用错导致整句 10/04 16:48
10F：→ DarkD:distorted 10/04 16:48
11F：→ DarkD:拆成两句+连接词: A poster is composed of different 10/04 16:49
12F：→ DarkD:elements, and besides its main function to communicate 10/04 16:51
13F：→ DarkD:information, others such as blablabla are also important 10/04 16:52
14F：→ DarkD:这句两个S根V。但你只写出来S1根V2，V1根S2消失了 10/04 16:54
15F：→ DarkD:也不是说消失，反正你没很好地把两个要传达的意思揉合进单句 10/04 16:55
16F：→ DarkD:还有一个问题是 main function应该是主，others应该是次 10/04 16:57
17F：→ DarkD:但你却用besides(通常是附加说明的概念)来带出主，然後次 10/04 16:58
18F：→ DarkD:概念就跑到句构中的主句.....so screwed= =" 10/04 16:58
19F：→ ladyspider:哇啊啊~ 谢谢大家的指正! 10/08 02:22