: 很担心很多文法其实是错得但用得很爽...... 我倒是觉得，我们学生在写英文作文的时候，担心的都是自己 "文法" 写得对不对， 而不是语句通不通顺，每一段有没有明显的主题，有没有做到起承转合这些作文的 基本要素。 个人觉得这一篇作文，有一点过度使用现成的片语。几乎每一句开头都是用 "in the light of ...", "to illustrate ...", "to say another say ..." 这种罐头 模版式的片语。读起来像是补习班老师指导下的文章。感觉非常不真实。 : ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- : The school authorities are alarmed by the fact that a large proportion of : students fail English test. According to the recent press coverage, more and ... by the fact that many Taiwanese students have failed their English examinations. : more students in Taiwan none the less have trouble communicating with foreigner : in English after they get their college degree. In the light of that, schools 这里前两句就是我所谓的语句不通顺的地方之一。 第二句 "nonetheless" 通常有中文里面 "虽然 ... 但是..." 的意味。你这两句也许 应该写成 "虽然大部分台湾学生都可以通过英文测验，但是他们没办法和外国人交谈"。 你的原文却是 "台湾学生都考不过英文测验，但是他们却无法和外国人交谈"。我是 觉得很怪啦。希望没有误会你的原意。 : have to take the initiate to improve their students' English ability. To take the initiative ... : illustrate, it's well known that schools are going to make a stab at setting Again, 个人觉得 "to illustrate" 在这里很生硬，无法和前後文接起来。 : a bar which is served as a stander to examine a qualified Bachelor. To say that : another way, students are forced to attend the test of English ability and meet : the requirement prior to graduating from university. "to say another way" 前後不是该有对等意思的句子？我觉得你的前後文不是很适合 : On top of that, in the duration of first year, the school authorities usually "on top of that" 也和前後文接得不好。也许该写成这样：学生在大一都已经要修英语 学分，on top of that，他们毕业前还得通过多益考试 ... : set a necessary English course for the freshmen, which means people, whatever 必修课是 compulsory 或是 required course : the case, who enroll in the school have no alternative but to choose the class, "whatever the case" 好像是硬加上去的。感觉没有什麽用。 : or those who reject the arrangement set by school will not acquire the diploma : four years later. With the legally binding aforementioned above, we have "or those who ...." 这边很不通。 "with the legally binding aformentioned above" 是想说 "having said that"? : realized that English ability have attracted lots of attention in the course of : learning English, and counting still. " ... we have realized .... still" 这句我就完全看不懂。 : However, pondering why students fail English test, as far as I am concerned, : there are some reasons to explain the question. To begin with, the way students "as far as I am concerned" 这种拼字数的片语，几乎每一本写作教科书都叫人 不要用。 这边我认为要另起一段。 个人建议尽量不要用 "there are ...." 这类的句子。 The low English achievements for Taiwanese students might be attributed to the following factors. : interact with teachers in the classroom usually leads to poor English. In most : situations, students just listen to and receive what teachers said instead of In most situations, students simply listen to their teachers and make no respose whatsoever. : responding opinions, much less articulating in English. Therefore, lack of : surroundings which is conducive to learn English must be one of the reasons : giving rise to students' fractured English. To go a step further, with the Therefore ... 这句也很怪， 不过我不知道要怎样改 XD : advent of technology, students always take advantage of the translating tool 已经 "to go a step further" 逗点，又来 "with the advent of technology" 再 逗点，感觉语气中断太频繁。 : on the Internet. Hence, surfing the Internet has become the most common way by : which they solve the English assignments. Suffice it to say, the competitiveness "hence" 在这里也不完全合适。 : and the ability to master English are on the decrease. All in all, in the global "suffice it to say" 又是一个突兀的例子。 : village, the ability to speak foreign language articulately has become a : requirement while applying for a job, let alone English is usually seen as a : basic foreign language. Thus, it's a virtual certainty that, in an effort to "let alone English" 好像没法接上前後文， imho。 : enhance our competitiveness in an on-the-go society, mastering our English is : the best solution which is second to none. Thus 後面这一整句和前文的关连性很弱。感觉上只是堆砌片语。 ※ 编辑: hoch 来自: 212.95.7.32 (07/17 03:45)