作者mediant (大理石喷水池)
看板Eng-Class
标题[请益] 一封推荐函，拜托高手替我修改
时间Fri Nov 26 12:16:22 2010
这是一封推荐函，拜托板上的高手替我看看，
有没有文法怪怪的地方，非常谢谢大家！
______
To whom it may concern:
I am writing this letter with great pleasure to recommend Miss XXX XX
to your Master of Music program for the 20XX Fall Semester.
I have taught Miss XXX XX for more than two years. Miss XX, in my
professional opinion as her teacher, is a gifted student with great
potential. In the past two years, I found that she made huge progress
in a short time. She has natural musical instinct and great innate
feeling, and also equipped with playing facility and good techniques.
Besides, she always showed her passion for music and active motivation
to be outstanding.
I am convinced that XXX is a qualified candidate for admission to your
respect program and deserves your favorable consideration - I strongly
believe that with her talent and strong desire to learn, XXX will
make much more progress in the study of graduate level. Therefore,
I am willing to offer my most enthusiastic recommendation.
Sincerely yours,
XXXX XXXX
MM of XXXXX School of Music
Cellist, XXXXXX Orchestra
※ 编辑: mediant 来自: 61.216.1.230 (11/26 12:18)
1F：→ hoch:看起来 pretty ok。也许 "she always shows her passion..." 11/26 12:29
2F：→ hoch:现在式比较好。不过，我个人认为，这篇推荐信很像是例行性 11/26 12:29
3F：→ hoch:或是从范本里改写过来的。参考价值略低。 11/26 12:30
4F：→ hoch:也就是没有利用实际发生的事件，来写出该学生到底出色在哪里 11/26 12:31
5F：→ hoch:例如：该生在我的指导之下，获得全国音乐比赛第一名..... 11/26 12:32
6F：→ tengharold:pretty ok 但空泛 +1 11/26 14:29
7F：→ tengharold:she has made huge strides 11/26 14:30
8F：→ tengharold:she has a natural musical instinct 11/26 14:30
9F：→ tengharold:feeling, while 11/26 14:31
10F：→ tengharold:and an active motivation 11/26 14:32
11F：→ tengharold:your respected program 11/26 14:32
12F：→ tengharold:in the study of music at the graduate level 11/26 14:33
13F：→ tengharold:都是小错，不改反而让人觉得更像英文非母语的老师写的 11/26 14:34
14F：→ rubric:不够力再加一，文法程度够了 11/26 15:44
15F：→ mediant:非常谢谢楼上的各位，谢谢！ 11/26 22:24