防雷页 本集重点: 我给100分!!!100分!!!若有似无的闪到爆啊!!!!! 这篇会有点长，因为我想尽可能的记录下来。 片头， 马上就是一段模仿Star Trek的影片， 太空船舰长跟外星人起冲突， 外星人威胁要杀害他的女性船员， 但是两人很有默契的联手将太空人制服...... 然後影片就停住了，那是Astro Quest的经典片段， 原来是小哈人在一个sci-fi聚会whatificom的现场， 然後有人在向小哈兜售那个影片里舰长使用的武器， 要价750美元大洋， 小哈: 750? Do I look like an idiot to you? 结果接着的下一幕你就看到小哈开心的拿着那个武器在把玩。 XDXD 开心在会场里闲晃的小哈抬头看到一个正妹背影， 穿着整套的太空船舰制服(腿超美的啦!)， 小哈: (忍不住赞叹) Nice uniform... 正妹: (转过身) (竟然是温蒂!!!) 小哈: Wendy? You're Yeoman Molley? 温蒂: (看到小哈手上的东西) You had a microphone! 小哈: Yeah. You are a quester? 温蒂: Yeah. 小哈: I'm Captain Bishop in my own imagination. 温蒂: Well, who is not? 小哈: I mean, wow, Yeoman Molley! 温蒂: I love her! I mean, she's the only female biochemist on TV! 小哈: .......(看呆了) 温蒂: (不好意思起来) Do you think I made the color right? I'm not so sure. 小哈: You... It looks perfect! 温蒂: Thank you. Can I see that? 小哈: Of course. (递出) 温蒂: It's cool! (开心的把玩) 小哈: Chi-chunk Foo-chunk Bryce Tee-chunk. 温蒂: (微笑) I don't speak Vellikon. What's that mean? 小哈: Well......(尖叫声传来) 会场里假装的舰桥室里一名男子死亡被人发现，尖叫声就是这样传来的， 小哈跟温蒂当然马上冲往现场。 小哈: We're in Crime Lab. Everybody steps back! 温蒂: Ma'dam, don't touch anything. Please come with me. 小哈: (到男子身旁确认死亡，打了电话) Jim? 布拔: Bress. 小哈: Jim, this is Hodges. Listen, I'm in Whatificom, here is a man... 布拔: Whatif-- what? Where did you get my number? 小哈: I got it from last time Grissom called you on... This is not important! Here is a man who get injured, and a lot of blood, and... 布拔: Could you be more specific? 小哈: He is dead, Jim. 囧尼、大卫跟布拔抵达现场。 囧尼忙着采证，蹲在他旁边的温蒂跟小哈你一言我一语的，搞的囧尼很烦， 小哈: Maybe you'll need a tape... 囧尼: Or maybe I should borrow a vacum and collect everthing here, then you two will have enough evidence to work with in the following months. How about that!? (两人识相的闭嘴) 　　　Do me a favor, beam yourselves back to lab and let me do my job. 布拔询问死者Jonathan的合作同夥， 该女子承认说她资助Jonathan进行所有东西的拍摄， 15个月来忙碌拍摄的影片是要在这次聚会上大放异彩的， 她不明白为何会有这样的意外发生。 回到局里，小哈忍不住摸去找正在处理屍体的烤鱼， 小哈: You know, this remind me xxx episode...... 烤鱼: (抬头，微笑)　I remembered that. Come'on in. 两人在死者的伤口上发现奇怪的碎片物质。 烤鱼：You always went to Whatificom with Wendy? 小哈: Actually, this is the first time...... 离开法医室的小哈上楼，看到正在忙碌中的温蒂， 看着看着就陷入了自己的想像之中； 小哈: (化身为舰长)　It is pleasure to work with you , Yeoman. As always. 温蒂: (在小哈的想像中化身为Yeoman，拨头发到耳後)　Were you scared, Captain? 小哈: (站起身，炯炯有神的看着温蒂) I wasn't before, but I am now. 温蒂: But... you're my supervised commander... 小哈: I'm also a man. A man with his desire. (捧住温蒂的脸) 温蒂: You can't imagine how many nights I lay there for this moment. 小哈: I can guess...... (准备要吻下去) 烤鱼: Hodges, you forget this. (把证物丢给小哈，硬生生打断小哈的幻想!XD) 小葛跟阿奇在检视Jonathan拍摄的影片， 温蒂递暗号给阿奇要阿奇也把影片转到她的电脑， 然後温蒂招手叫小哈从他的实验室过来到她的实验室看。 影片纪录昨晚Jonathan在Whatificom的现场播放自制的Astro Quest影片， 他主演Captain Bishop，然後声称要让大家看清楚现实 -- Astro Quest: Redux. 结果影片重复片头出现的经典片段(只是是由Jonathan的人马演出)， 这次船长不仅没制服外星坏人，还导致他的船员Yeoman被杀害! 影片记录到全场科幻迷看完大怒，最後Jonathan难堪的离场。 小葛: Some nerd take cheesy 60's sci-fi show into a little more... reality... Other fans got pissed off and killed him??? 囧尼跟Riley还在犯罪现场蒐证， 囧尼在设计成跟影片一样场景的Commander chair发现精液的痕迹， Riley则找到了影片放映的地方，并发现里面有一片影片。 囧尼: I got a whole lots of geek love here... Riley: (放出影片) 结果是三个人模仿成Astro Quest的角色，说经他们审判後确认Jonathan有罪， 接下来是一段合成Jonathan的卡通斩首影片。 Riley: (笑) I got to start watching this show. 小哈莫名奇妙去找凯姐。 小哈: Cathrine, hypothetically, if I know someone has a realtionship with another in the lab... 凯姐: (打断小哈) What kind of relationship? 小哈: Un, personal... affairable... 凯姐: Romantic? 小哈: O.K. Hypithetically, if I know someone has a romantic relationship with another in the lab. Am I obligated to report them? 凯姐: Yes, to Ecklie. 小哈: But... what will happen to them then? 凯姐: Well, are they in the same shift? 小哈: Yes. 凯姐: Are they supervisor and surrogator? 小哈: No. 凯姐: Then, one of them might need to change the shift. Go to Ecklie. Life is too short, right? (眨眼，离开) 小葛询问拍摄记录Jonathan播放他自制影片的大学女教授， 该教授说她是在进行她的sci-fi mytho-culture研究， 拍摄纪录片纪录Jonathan的拍片经过。 教授: Jonathan is playing with fire. 小葛: You really think people would kill him just because of that? 教授: Astro Quest, to some peole, is not just a TV show. It's religion. Just like ooo xxx....(这段历史小的一整个不熟，听不懂) 小葛: (很显然也不懂) Un,, could we be more perspective? 教授: I mean, people killed each other all the time for their own beliefs. Hope you're more familiar with the situation in Middle East Asian. 烤鱼跟罗宾爷爷在法医室继续检视屍体， 罗宾爷爷叫大卫处里一件事，大卫用很奇怪的嗓音回答罗宾爷爷。 罗宾爷爷: (翻白眼对烤鱼说)He did it all the day. 烤鱼大笑，跟罗宾爷爷解释说大卫在模仿Astro Quest里的一个角色， 罗宾爷爷很无奈的说他听都没听过。 大卫: Because you're not a couch potato but a medicinal physiologist! Damn you! 罗宾爷爷不理他，自顾自的从死者的胃里翻出诡异的绿色条状物， 烤鱼检视之後认为很像影集里出现的某种怪东西， 大卫: (大为兴奋，连装声音都忘了) You mean lika a shafonworm? Is it real? 罗宾爷爷: (抓狂掐住大卫) You tell me! 大卫哀嚎受终於被放开， 然後才说他知道有餐厅有提供设计成那种形状的东西在里面的酒精饮料； 大卫: (摸着脖子) That hurt! 罗宾爷爷: Good. 囧尼於是前往该餐厅询问服务生， 该餐厅所有的服务生都是化妆成Astro Quest里的人物的样子， 酒保说Jonathan前晚有跟人起冲突， 囧尼於是出示从记录片里撷取的影像，酒保果然认出人群里有跟Jonathan起冲突的人； 囧尼谢过酒保後开了一些sci-fi迷的怪胎玩笑， 酒保却很严肃的脱下化妆， 跟囧尼说大部分的sci0fi迷都是活在一个相信未来会更好的世界里， 酒保: I wouldn't mind to live in such a world. 囧尼: Neither do I. 回到实验室，Mandy跟温蒂正在检视囧尼他们带回来的迹证之一， 那是一个模仿Astro Quest某一集做出来的模型器具， 小哈开开心心的晃进来，然後就跟温蒂开心的讨论起那集来， 那集是船长遇到了一群使用奴隶的外星人， 而他们控制奴隶的方法就是用温蒂手上的那个模型颈圈来进行类似孙悟空金箍咒的功用； 小哈忍不住伸手想要碰， 温蒂: Hey! You didn't wear a glove! 小哈: Oh, sorry. 温蒂: Don't make me use it. (离开去做检验) Mandy: When would you decide to grow up, Hodges. 小哈: Sneer if you wish. Sci-fi has nothing to do with grown-up. Mandy: I like Sci-fi, too. It's funny to listen to they talk about those strange and incrediablee phenomena. 小哈: Dr. Ed? Mandy: Yeah. 小哈: That's not Sci-fi! That's fantasy! Mandy: No, fantasy is something that you can move faster then light speed. 小哈受不了Mansy，看向温蒂，又陷入自己的想像中； 小哈: (再次化身为舰长) I wasn't born to be slave! 温蒂: (这次化身成外星人的奴隶) We;re assigned to do jobs. Yours is to collect those xxxx stones. Mine is to make sure you do collect them. 小哈: I don't want to collect anymore! (摔，坐下) 温蒂: Rest if you wish. 小哈: What I wish is to be free! In my planet, people are free to choose where to go, what to do, and who to love! 温蒂: What is love? 小哈: Love... it the most important thing to make people in connection. 温蒂: Oh!! You mean mating. My supervisor will permit me to mate once the time is right. 小哈: Don't you ever want to choose whom to mate yourself?(摸温蒂的脸) 温蒂: .... Such talk is not permitted in work place! 小哈: (拉住她) Imagine it, just to choose yourself one time...(要吻上去) 温蒂: (惊慌动摇，颈上的项圈发出逼逼声，电集昏迷~~) 小哈: (抱住温蒂) No! Catherine said it would be all right! And Ecklie will not have problem with that!! 布拔依据Riley找出的制作斩首卡通影片的地址跟姓名去找人， 找到两个把他们的房间整个整理成跟太空船内不同样装潢的男子， 两人承认制作该影片，但是否认杀人， 他们甚至说去放影片的不是他们两个， 而是前一天晚上造成他们跟Jonathan发生冲突的同伴女子Risa， 布拔问说那哪里可以找的到Risa， 两个人都说Risa那天回来後相当不稳定，对他们大吼一阵就消失了。 (Risa:There is no crew! This is not a spaceship! I'm sick of your stupid game!) 温蒂找小哈一起进行Astro Quest mini Marathon， 小哈当然很开心的答应了， 小哈: I could bring some pizza for crews. 温蒂: Well, two is actually not a crew. 小哈: You mean, just you and me....? 温蒂: Yeah, you, me, DVD player, and a platform TV. 小哈: In your place? 温蒂: Yeah. What's wrong with that? 小哈: Nothing. Sound's great! 开心的小哈点起了本生灯开始做实验，又陷入了自己的幻想。 这次是小哈跟阿奇一起在一间casban里， 温蒂化身成妖娇的肚皮舞娘，阿奇则是穿的向阿拉伯人的舰长友人； 阿奇: Have you ever actually seen one? 小哈: Huh? 阿奇: I said, have you ever actually seen one? 小哈: A Tijilian Carabion? No..... 温蒂跳着艳舞，四肢着地性感到爆表的爬向小哈。 小哈: I'd say she would be willing to change the shift. 阿奇: Wouldn't you? 温蒂: (挑起小哈的脸) You're on fire. 小哈: (想要亲下去) 温蒂: (切断幻想的大吼) Hodges, you're on fire!!! 是的，本生灯烧起来了，温蒂当机立断的喷了灭火器， 温蒂质问小哈到底最近在幌神什麽， 小哈慌乱的边整理边说他什麽都没想， 小哈: Nothing! Ask you! Your Astro Quest geek marathoon. I mean, here is the lab, not a Tijilian Casban! 温蒂: What!? Are you actually to blame it on me!? Look! If you're actually having those strange fantasy on me dressing some weired stripped Bikini and dacing some Tijilian, good! 小哈: Good!? 温蒂: Yes, good! It means you're still somewhat different from what people thinking about you! 　　　But if you can't handle those fantasy, don't turn and blame on me! 小哈: There won't be next time! 温蒂: Good! Or I think there wouldn't happen anything tonight! 小哈: Fine! Whatever! 温蒂生气的离去，小哈沮丧的丢手套...... 好心的酒保找到了争执当晚的女主角，带她来找囧尼， 还送给囧尼一卷Astro Quest，囧尼谢过他。 囧尼: Look, we know you ecountered Jonathan Danthan at the night he died. We also found some sexual activity on the commander chair. If he assaulted you, and you fought back, it was a self-defense. You know that? Risa: There is no assault. I liked his show... (回想画面，Jonathan抓到Risa放进斩首影片，逼进Risa，) (Jonathan: Stop trying to be something you're not. Let me free you...) (然後两个人就在椅子上做了...) He took me to an incredible place. Just pure joy. I'm just me. 囧尼回头跟Riley检视Jonathan的手提电脑， 结果在里面找出了大量他跟不同sci-fi化妆的女子欢爱的画面纪录， (居然还有X-man里面的魔型女喔!!! XDXD) 最後一张是他和Melinda Cover，那个资助他拍片的女子。 凯姐: It's good to be a commander. 布拔於是又找了Melinda来问话， Melinda说他知道这些女人的存在， 说Jonathan是个真正的艺术家，她不在意他的风流，同时继续否认杀了Jonathan。 烤鱼跟Riley回到现场尝试找出那台隐藏摄影机， 却怎麽找也找不到，可是因为所有照片都是相同角度相同位置拍摄的， 实在不可能使人为摄影所致...... 小哈在自己的实验室里漫不经心的检视证物， 一边不住的偷看对面房间的温蒂， 然後像是被雷打到一样，冲去找温蒂， 小哈: I think I got it! 温蒂: Got what? 小哈: The trace from the victim's wound! 　　　(做出靠近显微镜查看的动作)　Did this action remind you something? 温蒂: Yes!(那是片头Astro Quest经典片段中外星坏人查看船长武器的一幕) 两人开心的打电话给烤鱼， 小哈: Langstan? It's Hodges and Wendy! 　　　It;s the helm! 烤鱼: What? 温蒂: The sonsole! The targetting scanner! 烤鱼循着两人给的指示，找到了那个隐藏的场景， 按钮一按下去，升起来的赫然就是隐藏摄影机！ 而且尖角上明白的沾着血迹，还有一枚血指纹！ 烤鱼: Nice work, people. Seee you back on the lab. 开心的小哈和温蒂挂了电话， 尴尬的想起两人才刚大吵过一架。 温蒂: Nice work. 小哈: You too, Simms. 两人又开心又不好意思的握手言和，温蒂离开。 站在门口一切收在眼底的亨利开口了， 亨利: Is she mad at you again? Why you two just get through it? Just tell her how you feel! 小哈: (又陷入幻想之中，亨利是他的副舰长) 　　　Then I'd never be again to feel I'm a fool? (之後小哈义正辞严的说了一堆关於实验室规定、需要的话) 　　　Some times I wonder what it would feel to be an ordinary man. Eating a candlelight dinner, walking together on the beach...... 亨利: But you don't lik the beach! (小哈的幻想被打碎) 　　　It's understandable. Considering your complexion. 结果血指纹是那位女教授的，布拔於是找了她来问话。 原来女教授拍摄纪录片时，发现Jonathan盗用了她的点子放在Redux里面， 她很愤怒的去找Jonathan质疑，Jonathan不但掐住她让她喘不过气， 还嘲弄她叫她回去继续搞她的理论就好...... Jonathan: 20 years in media theory. Talk about wasting the life...... 结果她被松开後一气之下推了Jonathan一把， Jonathan正撞到摄影机一角死亡..... 布拔: An episodic documantary... I called is a secondary murder. 囧尼号招大家晚上一起看他刚拿到的Astro Quest， 烤鱼和Riley都加入了， 温蒂跟小哈却都回绝了...... 温蒂看着对面实验室里小哈工作的身影， 登入了Astro Quest的网站，输了小哈在片头说的那串外星话， 经过网站的翻译，原来小哈说的是：We were made for each other. 感慨的温蒂陷入了幻想... 她的幻想接着小哈那个舰长跟外星人奴隶的幻想， 之前被项圈电昏的温蒂醒了过来，跟小哈并肩坐在石头上； 小哈:(跟舰桥联络上)　Any time you're ready, Ecklie. 温蒂: You believe me now? 小哈: The lab needs me. 温蒂: You have your own needs, and so do I. 小哈: Maybe one day our needs will come together... 　　　(要亲下去的瞬间，光波传送消失了) 温蒂：I hope so, till then...... Someday...... 本集重点: 1. 100分！我给100分！办什麽案不是重点，重点是搞了这麽多桥段向Star Trek致敬! 身为Star Trek迷我给100分!!! (是说让亨利在幻想里变成百科的话我会更开心一点!->糟，泄露年龄了吗? XD) (说到这，新电影还满让人期待的啊~~虽然舰长换人演，而且还搞前传这套...Orz) 2. 最後闪死了!!!根本就郎有情妹有意了嘛! 有老葛跟莎拉的前例，这两个直接冲了啦!怕什麽! 3. 小哈一定有欠编剧钱，怎样都亲不到就对了~~ XDXD 总之，这集真是太欢乐了，同样身为Star Trek + CSI迷的话大推喔!!! --

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