[Scene: The Broom Closet, Ross has used a broom to open the air vent in the ceiling. Phoebe is wearing a janitor's uniform, ready to go up in the vent.] Ross: Ok, got the vent open. Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue! Ross: Ben, you ready? All right, gimme your foot. Ok, on three, Ben. One, two, three. Ok, That's it, Ben. (Ross and Susan lift Phoebe up into the vent.) Susan: What do you see? Phoebe: Well, Susan, I see what appears to be a dark vent. Wait. Yes, it is in fact a dark vent. (A janitor opens the closet door from the outside.) Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open! (Ross and Susan run to the delivery room, leaving Phoebe dangling from the vent.) Janitor: (to Ross and Susan) Wait! You forgot your legs! [Scene: Carol's Room, Ross and Susan rush in.] All: Push, push! Ross: We're here! Carol: (irked) Where have you been? Ross: Long story, honey. Dr. Franzblau: All right, Carol, I need you to keep pushing. I need—(reaches for an instrument, Rachel's hand is on it) Excuse me, could I have this? Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room, and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a lesbian life partner, out you go! All: Good luck! (Everyone heads for the door.) Chandler: (to nurse) Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life partner? Nurse: Out! Dr. Franzblau: All right, he's crowning. Here he comes. Ross: Let me see, I gotta see, I gotta see. Oh, a head. Oh, it's, it's huge. Carol, how are you doing this? Carol: (straining) Not.... helping! Dr. Franzblau: You're doing great, you're doing fine. Ross: (puts his head near the baby) Hello! (to Dr. Franzblau) Oh, sorry. Susan: What do you see? What do you see? Ross: We got a head, we got shoulders, we got arms, we got, oh, look at the little fingers, oh, and a chest, and a stomach. It's a boy, definitely a boy! All right! Ok, legs, knees, and feet. Oh, oh. He's here. He's a person. Susan: Oh, look at that. Carol: What does he look like? Ross: Kinda like my uncle Ed, covered in Jell-o. Carol: Really? Phoebe: (from the air vent overhead) You guys, he's beautiful! Ross: Oh, thanks, Pheebs! (They look up towards the vent and wave at Phoebe.) [Scene: The Delivery Room, Carol is holding the infant.] Susan: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy. Ross: (thinking) How 'bout Ben? Susan: I like Ben. Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before? Ross: We uh, we just cooked it up. Susan: That's what we were off doing. (Monica opens the door.) Monica: Hi. Ross: Hey. Monica: Can we come in? (The whole gang enters.) Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody. Phoebe: Susan, he looks just like you. Susan: Thanks. Rachel: Oh, god, I can't believe one of us actually has one of these. Chandler: I know, I still am one of these. Monica: Ross, can I? (Monica holds Ben.) Ross: The head, the head. You gotta... Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum. Closing Credits [Scene: The Hospital, the camera is placed as though it were Ben's eyes.] Ross: Ben, I want you to know that there may be some times when I may not be around, like this. (walks out of the picture) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) And sometimes I may be away longer, like this. (walks away) But I'll still always come back, like this. (returns) (Chandler comes into the picture.) Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.) (The rest of the group come into the picture.) Monica: He is so amazing. Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him. Joey: Ben, Ben, hey Ben. Nothing. I don't think that's his name. Phoebe: Oh, look, look, he's closing his eyes. (screen goes blank) Look, he's opening his eyes. (picture comes back) Joey: He doesn't do much, does he? Ross: No, this is pretty much it. (long moment of silence) Rachel: You guys wanna get some coffee? All: Yeah. Ross: All right, I'll see you guys later. (They all leave but Ross, but they all come back a few seconds later. They make faces at the baby.) Phoebe: Oh, look, he's closing his eyes again. (The screen fades to black.) End --

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