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121 The One With The Fake Monica –Part 2 [Scene: A Tap Class, the girls are standing at the door.] Monica: What d'you think? Phoebe: Lotsa things. (They go in and sit down.) Rachel: Which one do you think she is? (The teacher comes up to them.) Teacher: May I help you? Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe. Teacher: You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. Spare shoes are over there. Rachel: What does she mean? Phoebe: I think she means (Imitates) 'You dance a dance class'. Oh, c'mon, c'mon. (They put on some spare shoes) Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me? Teacher: (To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again! Rachel: She could be you. (Music starts) Teacher: Let's get started. Five, six, a-five six seven eight... (Everyone starts to dance in unison. Monica flounders) Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this! Phoebe: (Dancing in a swirly, Phoebe kind of way) I'm totally getting it! Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated? (Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class) Rachel: What? You just click when they click. Teacher: Alright people, now everyone grab a partner. (The girls are unsure how to pair off. Phoebe settles it) Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel. Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again. Phoebe and Rachel: Aww. Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me. Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare. (She starts to walk very slowly toward the front of the room. The teacher grabs her hand and pulls her. Suddenly a woman bursts in) Woman: It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl? Teacher: She's your partner. Woman: Hi. I'm Monica. Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana. Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana? Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch. Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch) Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch. Teacher: And we're dancing. A-five, six, seven, eight... [Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering.] Ross: (Mortified) Hi. Chandler and Joey: Hey. Joey: Where've you been? Ross: At the vet. Chandler: She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones, is she? Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently he's reached sexual maturity. Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya. Ross: She says as time goes on, he's gonna start getting agressive and violent. Chandler: So what does this mean? Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up. Commercial Break --



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