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120 The One With the Evil Orthodontist --PART 2 [Scene: Barry's Office, Rachel and Barry are getting married.] Barry: What's the matter? Rachel: Oh, it's just... Oh, Barry, this was not good. Barry: No, it was. It was very very good. Rachel: Well, what about Mindy? Barry: Oh, way, way better than Mindy. Rachel: No, not that, I mean, what about you and Mindy? Barry: Well, if you want, I'll just—I'll just break it off with her. Rachel: No. No-no-no-no, no. I mean, don't do that. Not, I mean not for me. Bernice: (over intercom) Dr. Farber, Bobby Rush is here for his adjustment. Barry: (into intercom) Thanks, Bernice. (To Rachel) Let's go away this weekend. Rachel: Oh, Barry..! Come on, this is all way too.. Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it. (Pause as Rachel realises...) Rachel: I had a bra. (Barry finds it draped on a cupboard and gives it to Rachel, they kiss as Bobby enters.) Bobby: Hey, Dr. Farber. (Rachel and Barry quickly split and pretend Barry is examining Rachel's mouth.) Barry: All right Miss Green, everything looks fine... Yep, I think we're starting to see some real progress here. (Bobby looks on, deadpan.) Rachel: What?! Bobby: I'm twelve, I'm not stupid. (Rachel glares at him.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler enters clutching his phone.] Chandler: Can I use your phone? Monica: Yeah.. uh, but for future reference, that thing in your hand can also be used as a phone. (Chandler dials his own phone and it rings.) Chandler: Yes, it's working! Why isn't she calling me back? Joey: Maybe she never got your message. Phoebe: Y'know, if you want, you can call her machine, and if she has a lot of beeps, that means she probably didn't get her messages yet. Chandler: Y'don't think that makes me seem a little... Ross: ...desperate, needy, pathetic? Chandler: Ah, you obviously saw my personal ad. (He calls and quickly hangs up.) Phoebe: How many beeps? Chandler: She answered. Monica: Y'see, this is where you'd use that 'hello' word we talked about. Chandler: I'm not gonna talk to her, she obviously got my message and is choosing not to call me. Now I'm needy and snubbed. God, I miss just being needy. (Rachel enters.) All: Hey! Hi! Phoebe: How'd he take it? Rachel: Pretty well, actually... (Wandering into the kitchen.) Monica: (wandering in after her) Uh, Rach... how come you have dental floss in your hair? Rachel: Oh, do I? Monica: Uh huh. Rachel: (in a low voice) We ended up having sex in his chair. Monica: You had sex in his chair?!... I said that a little too loudly, didn't I? Ross: You-you had what? Phoebe: Sex in his chair. Ross: What, uh... what were you thinking? Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol. Ross: No! No no, it is nothing like me and Carol! Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say? (Ross flounders.) Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over. Ross: It's, it's, it's, uh, a totally diferent situation! It's, it's apples and oranges, it's, it's orthodontists and lesbi- I gotta go. Phoebe: Where are you going? Ross: (leaving) I just have to go, all right? Do I need a reason? Huh? I mean I have things to do with my life, I have a jam packed schedule, and I am late- for keeping up with it. Okay? (Ross exits, a phone rings, and Chandler dives for his phone.) Chandler: Hello? Hello? (Rachel picks up their phone and the ringing stops. As she talks on the phone, an elaborate visual gag is spun out which is too difficult to describe in words.) Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Mindy! Hi! Hey, how are you? (Listens) Yes, yes, I've heard, congratulations, that is so great. (Listens) Really? (Listens) Oh. (Listens) Okay. Okay, well I'm working tomorrow, but if you want you can, you can, you can come by and... (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Great... (Listens) Great... (Listens) All right, so I'll, so I'll see you tomorrow! (Listens) Okay.. (Listens) Okay... (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up and sits down heavily.) Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Chandler: So how's Mindy? Rachel: Oh, she wants to see me tomorrow... Oh, she sounded really weird, I gotta call Barry... (Does so, on phone) Hi, it's me, I just.. Mindy!! Mindy! Hi! No, I figured that's where you'd be! Commercial Break --



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