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[Scene: Ross' apartment. Chandler and Joey are there. Ross enters with a pizza.] Ross: Alright boys, let's eat. Chandler: Oh, did you get that from the 'I Love Rachel' pizzeria? Ross: You still on that? Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!" Ross: You are way off, pal. Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her. Ross: Um.... no. See, I might've had feelings for her at one time— not any more. I just—I... (Marcel makes a screeching noise in background.) Ross: Marcel! Where are you going with that disc? (Marcel puts a CD in the player.) Ross: You are not putting that on again! Marcel, OK—if you press that button, you are in very, very big trouble. (The Lion Sleeps Tonight starts to play. Marcel starts to dance.) [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe are there.] Rachel: (opening mail) Can you believe what a jerk Ross was being? Monica: Yeah, I know. He can get really competitive. Phoebe: Ha. Ha, ha. Monica: What? Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black. Monica: Please! I am not as bad as Ross. Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident? Monica: That was not an incident! I-I was gesturing, a-and the plate slipped out of my hand. Rachel: Oooooh. (reads letter) (surprised): Oh! I got an interview! I got an interview! Monica: You're kidding! Where? Where? Rachel: (in disbelief): Sak's... Fifth... Avenue. Monica: Oh, Rachel! Phoebe: Oh, it's like the mother ship is calling you home. Monica: Well, what's the job? Rachel: Assistant buyer. Oh! I would be shopping... for a living! (Knock on door.) Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi! Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead? Rachel: No. Monica: I don't think so. Rachel: Why? Aunt Iris: Well, he may be now, because I think I hit him with my car. Monica: What? Rachel: Oh my God! Monica: Really? Aunt Iris: No! That's bluffing. Lesson number one. (walks into kitchen) Let me tell you something... everything you hear at a poker game is pure crap. (to Phoebe): Nice earrings. Phoebe: Thank y... (thinks about it) Aunt Iris: Girls, sit down. Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel... Aunt Iris: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, listen, I am parked at a meter. Let's do it. [Scene: Ross's apartment, everyone but Rachel is seated around his table. The Lion Sleep Tonight plays in the background.] Phoebe: Ross, could we please, please, please listen to anything else? Ross: Alright. (Ross shuts off the CD player. Marcel runs into the bedroom and slams the door.) Ross: I'm gonna pay for that tonight. (Knock on door. Ross opens it. Rachel enters.) Rachel: Hi! Ross: Hey. Rachel: Guys! Guess what, guess what, guess what, guess what! Chandler: Um, ok... the... the fifth dentist caved and now they're all recommending Trident? Rachel: Noooo... the interview! She loved me! She absolutely loved me. We talked for like two and a half hours, we have the same taste in clothes, and—oh, I went to camp with her cousin... And, oh, the job is perfect. I can do this. I can do this well! All: That's great! That's wonderful! Rachel: Oh God, oh, and then she told the funniest story... Monica: OK, great. You'll tell us and we'll laugh. Let's play poker. Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand. Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary? (The guys all duck under the table.) Monica: Ha, ha, very funny, very funny. But I think we'd like to give poker another try. Shall we, ladies? Phoebe and Rachel: Yes, we should. I think we should. Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those? Rachel: No, no, thats OK. Y'know, I think I'm gonna give it a go. Ross: Alright. Rachel: Alright... (shuffles cards expertly, all the guys stare in amazement) Commercial Break --



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