115 The One With the Stoned Guy - Part 1 [Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.] Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.) Joey: Thank you. Rachel: (to Ross) Cappuccino. (Hands it to him.) Ross: Grazie. Rachel: And a nice hot cider for Monica. (Hands it to her.) Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices something.) Uh Rach? Rachel: Yeah? Monica: Why does my cinamon stick have an eraser? Rachel: Oh! That's why. (Rachel checks behind her ear, and finds a cinamon stick.) I'm sorry! (She takes the pencil out of Monica's coffee and Monica puts her cup down in disgust.) Opening Credits [Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer, he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand. One of his co-workers walks by.] Woman: Chandler. Chandler: Mrs. Tedlock. You're looking lovely today. And may I say, that is a very flattering sleeve length on you. Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day. Chandler: Oh, listen. If this is about those prank memos, I had nothing to do with them. Really. Nothing at all. Really. (Chandler tries to hide a rubber chicken from the woman.) Nothing. [Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Chandler. Phoebe runs in, excitedly.] Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know... (Chandler comes in.) Chandler: Hey! All: Hey! Phoebe: Never mind. But it was going to be really good. Ross: What's going on? All: What is it? Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor. All: That's great! Chandler: So.... I quit. All: Why? Chandler: Why? This was supposed to be a temp job! Monica: Yeah, Chandler... you've been there for five years. Chandler: If I took this promotion, it'd be like admitting that this is what I actually do. Phoebe: So was it a lot more money? Chandler: It doesn't matter. I just don't want to be one of those guys that's in his office until twelve o'clock at night worrying about the WENUS. (Everyone looks at him, confused.) Rachel: ... the WENUS? Chandler: Weekly Estimated Net Usage Systems. A processing term. Rachel: (sarcastic) Oh. That WENUS. Joey: So what're you going to do? Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there. Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef. Monica: (taps Phoebe on her shoulder) Um... hi there. Phoebe: Hi! (turns back to Chandler, then to Monica) Oh, yeah, no, I know. You're a chef. I know, and I thought of you first, but um, Chandler's the one who needs a job right now, so.... Chandler: Yeah... I just don't have that much cheffing experience. Unless it's an all-toast restaurant. Phoebe: (to Monica's tapping) Yeah, yeah! Monica: Well, what kind of food is he looking for? Phoebe: Well, he wants to do some ecclectic, so he's looking for someone who can, you know, create the entire menu. Monica: (excited) Oh my God! Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think? Chandler: Thanks, Phoebe. But I just don't really see myself in a big white hat. Phoebe: OK. (pause) Oh Monica! Guess what! --

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