Part 3 [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ronni is talking to Chandler. Joey's dad is not around.] Ronni: Now, y'see, most people, when their pets pass on, they want 'em sorta laid out like they're sleeping. But occasionally you get your person who wants them in a pose. Like, chasing their tail, (Demonstrates) or, uh, jumping to catch a frisbee. Chandler: Joey, if I go first, I wanna be looking for my keys. Ronni: That's a good one! (Joey's dad enters.) Mr. Tribbiani: Hey, Joe. Joey: Dad, Ronni's here. Mr. Tribbiani: Huh? Ronni: Hi. Mr. Tribbiani: Hey! Hello, babe! Wh what're what're you doing here? Ronni: Oh, uh, well, you left your good hair at my apartment, I figured you'd need it tomorrow for your meeting. (Hands him the hair) Mr. Tribbiani: Thank you. Uh... Chandler: So, who's up for a big game of Kerplunk? Ronni: Look, I uh, I shouldn'ta come. I-I'd better get going, I don't wanna miss the last train. Mr. Tribbiani: I don't want you taking that thing. Ronni: Oh, where'm I gonna stay, here? Joey: Who-ah-ho. Mr. Tribbiani: We'll go to a hotel. Ronni: (Shrugs) We'll go to a hotel. Joey: No you won't. Ronni: No we won't. Joey: If you go to a hotel you'll be...doing stuff. I want you right here where I can keep an eye on you. Mr. Tribbiani: You're gonna keep an eye on us? Joey: That's right, mister, and I don't care how old you are, as long as you're under my roof you're gonna live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend. Ronni: Wow. He's strict. Joey: Now dad, you'll be in my room, Ronni uh, you can stay in Chandler's room. Ronni: Thanks. You're, uh, you're a good kid. Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late." Joey: Okay. Now this is just for tonight. Starting tomorrow, you gotta make a change. This has gone on long enough. Mr. Tribbiani: What kinda change? Joey: Well, either you break it off with Ronni Mr. Tribbiani: I can't do that! Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right! Mr. Tribbiani: Yeah, but this is Joey: I don't wanna hear it! Now go to my room! [Scene: Chandler and Joey's, night. Chandler and Joey are sharing the sofabed in the living room. Joey is restless.] Chandler: Hey, Kicky. What're you doing? Joey: Just trying to get comfortable. I can't sleep in my underwear. Chandler: Well, you're gonna. Joey: I've been thinking. Y'know, about how I'm always seeing girls on top of girls... Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes? Joey: Y'know what I mean, about how I'm always going out with all these women. And I always figured, when the right one comes along, I'd be able to be a stand-up guy and go the distance, y'know? Now I'm looking at my dad, thinking... Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave? Joey: No. Chandler: No. You decided to go into the out-of-work actor business. Now that wasn't easy, but you did it! And I'd like to believe that when the right woman comes along, you will have the courage and the guts to say "No thanks, I'm married." Joey: You really think so? Chandler: Yeah. I really do. Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him) Chandler: Get off! [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, morning. Someone knocks on the door and Monica gets it.] Ronni: Hi. Monica: Hi...May I help you? Ronni: Yeah, uh, Joey said I could use your shower, since, uh, Chandler's in ours? Monica: Okay...who are you? Ronni: Oh, I'm Ronni. Ronni Rappelano? The mistress? Monica: Oh, c'mon in. Ronni: Thanks. Rachel: Hi, I'm Rachel. Ronni: Hi. Rachel: Bathroom's up there. Ronni: Great. Rachel: Hey, listen, Ronni, how long would you say Chandler's been in the shower? Ronni: Oh, like, uh, five minutes? Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib. Mr. Tribbiani: Hey. Morning, dear. (Rachel goes up to the door of their bathroom) Rachel: Chandler Bing? It's time to see your thing. (She opens the door and whips back the curtain. It's Joey. They both scream) Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?! Rachel: I thought it was Chandler! Chandler: (Comes out of his room) What? What? Rachel: You were supposed to be in there so I could see your thing! Chandler: Sorry, my my thing was in there with me. [Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.] All: Hey, Pheebs. Phoebe: Hey. Monica: How's it going? Phoebe: Good. Oh oh! Roger's having a dinner thing and he wanted me to invite you guys. (Chandler laughs) Phoebe: So what's going on? Monica: Nothing, um, it's just, um... It's Roger. Ross: I dunno, there's just something about... Chandler: Basically we just feel that he's... Rachel: We hate that guy. All: Yeah. Hate him. Ross: We're sorry, Pheebs, we're sorry. Phoebe: Uh-huh. Okay. Okay, don't you think, maybe, though, it's just that he's so perceptive that it freaks you out? All: ...No, we hate him. Rachel: We're sorry. --

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