106 --The One With the Butt --PART 03 [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is there as enter except Joey enter.] Rachel: Tah-daaah! Chandler: Are we greeting each other this way now? 'Cause I like that. Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for. Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask. Rachel: Well, whaddya think? All: Very clean! It looks great! Terrific! Monica: ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman. All: Uh-oh... Monica: How-how did that happen? Rachel: I dunno.. I-I thought it looked better there. And I- and also, it's an extra seat around the coffee table. Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while. Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman. Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out. Monica: You guys, I am not that bad! Phoebe: Yeah, you are, Monica. Remember when I lived with you? You were like, a little, y'know, (psycho) Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Monica: That is so unfair! Ross: Oh c'mon! When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy! Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook. Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. Monica: Why not? Ross: Because you're a kook! Instead you wait until they send you a notice. Monica: I could do that. Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. Monica: Why would someone do that?! ...One might wonder. Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood... Monica: STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I? Ross: Monica? You're Mom. (Monica gasps.) Phoebe: Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! Ree! (Joey enters and he's on the phone.) Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie! All: Oh my God! Whoah! Monica: Well, what's the part? Joey: Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! "I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!" Phoebe: Seriously, what-what's the part? Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!" Ross: C'mon, seriously, Joey, what's the part? Joey: ...I'm his (mumbles) Rachel: ..You're, you're 'mah mah mah' what? Joey: ...I'm his butt double. 'Kay? I play Al Pacino's butt. Alright? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is... So you gonna invite us all to the big opening? Commercial Break --

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