by Malinda Lo, May 17, 2005 (前言述刪) Best Kiss – Carmen and Shane’s game of “Too Hot” in episode 2.03 (“Lonelie st Number”) definitely turned up the heat and set a new bar for kissing on The L Word. Watching that scene made that game look like the best invention since Twister. Worst Kiss – Despite the fact that Kit (Pam Grier) is one hot mama, even she c ouldn’t make kissing Benjamin Bradshaw (Charles S. Dutton) look good. When she and the self-help guru locked lips after their illicit lunch date (episode 2.0 6, “Lagrimas de Oro”), their lack of chemistry should have reached out and sl apped them. Where’s Ivan when you need him? Best Seduction – Shane may be the resident heartthrob, but Bette is the real m ack daddy. Her trip to New York in episode 2.04 (“Lynch Pin”) may not have la nded her a grant from the Peabody Foundation, but it did land her a cute little number from the Starlight Bar. After downing a couple of vodka martinis, Bette swaggered over to the nameless brunette like the hottest shark you ever saw an d asked, “Do you wanna dance?” Saying no was never an option. Worst Seduction – Unfortunately for the nameless older lesbian in episode 2.11 (“Loud and Proud”), she never went to Bette’s School of Seduction. Her atte mpt to woo Jenny with the line “What’s the matter? Am I too old or too suburb an or something?” was both pathetic and just plain weird. Best Sex Scene – Alice and Dana would have been a cinch for this award given t heir creative use of costumes on the Olivia Cruise, but since Dana cut out earl y due to seasickness, the award has to go to Tina and Bette, who reunited brief ly on episode 2.09 (“Late, Later, Latent”). The emotion and sincerity in the scene made it one of the most multilayered, meaningful love scenes on the show. Worst Sex Scene – While many lesbian viewers may object to straight sex scenes because The L Word is a show about lesbians, I don’t mind them--as long as th ey’re sexy. But in episode 2.01 (“Life, Love, Leaving”), we got an example o f a decidedly unsexy straight sex scene when Tim (Eric Mabius) barged into Jenn y’s room in the middle of the night, woke her up, and basically mounted her wi th no foreplay whatsoever. To make matters worse, after about a minute (just wh en Jenny seemed to be getting into it) he decided he had enough and left. After that, I think pretty much any woman would turn into a dyke. Best Dressed – In a wardrobe department full of “eccentric” outfits, Bette’ s closet stands head and shoulders above the others in terms of style, elegance , and that indefinable hot-damn element. Perhaps it’s just that Jennifer Beals has the grace to carry off even high-waisted trousers with suspenders, but eve n when Bette is down in her cups, she looks damn good. (An honorable mention ha s to go to Alice in her scrumptious Julie costume.) Worst Dressed – Out of a plethora of choices, we have a tie in this category b etween Jenny’s white doily dress (episode 2.03, “Loneliest Number”) and Alic e’s red velour boob tube/track shorts Pride outfit (2.11, “Loud and Proud”). All I can say is, at least Alice wore those accompanying Ray-Bans with pride. Best Hair – Regular readers of AfterEllen.com will remember that I have a cert ain fascination with hair on The L Word. Let’s just say that this year everybo dy on the show should get an award for Most Improved Hair, but the winner in th is category has to be Bette. Again, just like her wardrobe, her hair always loo ks good. Even when Bette was floating face-down in her pool, her hair managed t o fan out in the water perfectly. That’s a miracle. Worst Hair – I picked on Shane’s hair a lot last year, but this year Shane ha s also improved—on some occasions. I’m going to choose to believe that her ha ir is a state of her mood, and that when the strange little bleached ducktail o n the back of her head emerges, she’s having a bad day. So sometimes Shane has the Worst Hair, and sometimes she’s just really cute. Best Villain – Who would have thought that I would ever develop fond memories of Tonya (Meredith McGeachie), whom Alice accused of poisoning Dana’s Mr. Pidd les? But after that hilarious dream sequence in episode 2.03 ("Loneliest Number ") which Tonya left hot pink lipstick prints all over Alice’s stunned face, To nya quickly skyrocketed to the top of the villains list. She really was someone we all loved to hate—and McGeachie played her with admirable tongue-in-cheek aplomb. --

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