To my days in the military camp 1. Notes toward the Wild Gusts How strong is the gust so as to blow away my sorrow? How far can it reach? Can I go there with you? How strong can the gust dry my tears? Or at least, the sweat that blurs my sight and pretends to be tears? Wild, wild is the wind. Send me away from here. Quick. Now. But you simply proceeds as usual. And the gusts inside me never cease. 2. Orion That was a chilly wintry night when I patrolled the desolate shore and found you there alone watching me from afar and my speechless homesickness. 3. Salt Sweats come and go. Salt remains. Waves after waves, it emerges at the back of your army-shirts. Map and maze in white. Study it after a long weary day, shield it with your guns and calibers, and the mystery of thy works and days shalt be revealed. 4. Harder and Harder to Concentrate Why is it so hard just to concentrate? I try to stare afront just as the river that flows forth, but even a river bends when there's simply too much... So it goes slower and slower around the willows and the weeds for a breath... 5. Still Long Way to Go, Baby Not until you fill out all the forms and check them out more than once, Not until you almost fulfill all your duties, Not until you rearrange and clean your closet, wave good bye triumphantly, Not until, until the last minute, you finally settle down that fatal, unexpected mistake, Not until you recite all the required chants, declaring that you won't kill, rape, or drunk drive, Not until the officials settle out the mistakes and you're not among the personel who must not leave at the last minute (thank Goodness!), not until the divine taxi arriveth in time, not until the red light turns to green, not until you arrive at the station and rush to buy tickets, not until you curse that driver for driving too slowly, not until you meet another red light, and this driver is still not fast enough, not until you grope your keys in the wrong place and, whilst opening the door, you realize: I'm home, temporarily, finally. 6. Another Invocation to the Goddess Goddess of fast car, Goddess of your ugly hair, goddess of celestial junk food, we invoke your help. We may curse your name when you work. ("Oh gosh, my hair...") We never mean so. ("Driver faster, bitch!") Please keep guarding us with your taxi, with your truck loaded with triumphant chicken chops that crush the crusaders' humble purse, and with your infernal scissors that sweep through every dumb head of the warriors. We detest you for coming late, for we all know wherever you are there is rest. You know that, too. "That has a price," you say, with an understanding smile. 7. Listen to the Rain with Mi-Lu He ambles around and then crouchs beside me standing on guard. Serenity is a rarety here. We listen to the slow drizzles falling onto the sun-scorched ground which turns them into meandering vapors. Dissolute slugs run amok. They can't wait to set sail and reclaim the wet road again on which they will be run over by a big black automobile. After the general gets off, he will receive Milu's warm welcome and scold the staffs for not chaining that stray dog up. And then the distant metal clinks in the silence of the rain... 8. Tropic of Cancer In the beginning, the gust bloweth into men's eyes. It rinseth tears out of them. It sendeth men among dust and dunes. And the men cry to God, What is the strength, that I should hope? What is the End, if I can't see? God doth not answer them in the whirlwind. Instead, He sendeth them to the edge of the Tropic of Cancer, a place where the wind ceases to blow, and they are too much in the sun. They question, and puzzle at God's design. And they start to forget, parts and all, after being bombarded each day by roars of jet fighters taking off and drawing the invisble lines of the Tropic of Cancer in heaven. They behold, numbed. And the End cometh. -- 軍旅生涯紀念: 台南官田、屏東加祿堂、苗栗後龍、新竹、嘉義水上 第六段獻給在軍中遇到的阿姨們: 計程車阿姨、髮婆阿姨、小蜜蜂阿姨 --

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