I made an attempt to read your poem like below: "Since the first debut I wonder"; "I wonder/how luxuriant the feast"; "The feast to suffer"; "Suffer/no more"; "No more surging the luscious wine"; "Luscious wine/but toxic"; and so forth. Which gave interesting results, but I was unable to continue when the commas appear toward the end of the poem. Anyway, lest I dissect the poem too barbarously: why did you employ the commas at the end of the poem? (Or, from another perspective: why did you abandon the punctuations at the beginning of the poem?) I'm convinced that you have a good, purposeful reasoning in doing so, as your other poem employed the same "flightly" grammatic feel. ^_^ -- ╭─────────────────────────╮ │"There is no fate that cannot be surmounted by │ │scorn." -- Albert Camus │ ╰────────────◇ http://distract.org/ ◇╯ --

※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 218.166.85.206 ※ 編輯: dale 來自: 218.166.85.206 (04/20 10:37)