我來翻譯好了 = =" 恩... 翻譯不好就沒有辦法了... ※ 引述《FoBenJa (FoBenJa)》之銘言： : These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things : people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published : by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges : were actually taking place : ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? : WITNESS: No, I just lie there. 律師: 妳是否還有性行為... 目擊者: 沒有, 我只有躺著... : _______________________________ : ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? : WITNESS: July 18th. : ATTORNEY: What year? : WITNESS: Every year. 律師: 妳的生日是? 目擊者: 7月18號 律師: 哪一年? 目擊者: 每年... : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment your car struck the other : vehicle? : WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. *這個翻譯成中文就沒有笑點...* : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? : WITNESS: Yes. : ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? : WITNESS: I forget. : ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? 律師: 這個 myasthenian gravis 症狀, 對你的記憶有影響嗎? 目擊者: 有 律師: 對你的記憶有什麼影響? 目擊者: 我會忘記東西 律師: 妳會忘記? 那你能舉個例子 妳曾忘過什麼事情嗎? : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? : WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. : ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? : WITNESS: Forty-five years. 律師: 妳兒子幾歲了? 跟你住一起的那個 目擊者: 38 還是 35... 我忘記了 律師: 他跟妳住多久了? 目擊者: 45年... : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? : WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" : ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? : WITNESS: My name is Susan. 律師: 妳老公當天早上對妳說的第一件事情是什麼? 目擊者: 他說 "凱西, 我在哪裡?" 律師: 這為什麼讓你傷心? 目擊者: 我的名字是蘇珊... : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, : he doesn't know about it until the next morning? : WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? 律師: 醫生, 當一個人在睡夢中死去, 他應該到隔天早上才會發覺他已經死亡了對吧? 目擊者: ... 妳真的有通過考試? : ____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? : WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one. 律師: 最小的兒子, 那個20歲的, 請問他幾歲? 目擊者: ㄜ.... 他21歲... : ________________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? : WITNESS: Would you repeat the question? 律師: 當你被偷拍的時候, 妳人是否在場? 目擊者: 妳問什麼??? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? : WITNESS: Yes. : ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? : WITNESS: Duh............. 律師: 妳是在8月8號懷孕的? 目擊者: 對 律師: 那你在當天做了什麼? 目擊者: ㄟ.......... : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: She had three children, right? : WITNESS: Yes. : ATTORNEY: How many were boys? : WITNESS: None. : ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? 律師: 他有三個孩子對吧? 目擊者: 對 律師: 幾個是男生? 目擊者: 0 律師: 那有女生嗎? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? : WITNESS: By death. : ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? 律師: 妳第一個婚姻, 是怎麼結束的? 目擊者: 死亡 律師: 那是誰死了導致你的婚姻結束? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? : WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard. : ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? 律師: 妳能描述那個人嗎? 目擊者: 他差不多XXX公分, 然後有留鬍子 律師: 這個人是男的還是女的? : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition : notice which I sent to your attorney? : WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. 律師: 妳現在的穿著, 是你被法官罷免工作之後的穿著? 目擊者: 不是, 我工作一直都是這樣穿 : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead : people? : WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. 律師: 醫生, 妳幾次驗屍, 是在驗死人? 目擊者: 我每次驗屍都在驗死人... : ______________________________________ : ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? : WITNESS: Oral. *翻譯出來怪怪的... 笑點不見 = =* : _____________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? : WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. : ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? : WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an : autopsy on him! 律師: 妳記得你是何時驗屍的嗎? 目擊者: 驗屍是8:30晚上開始的 律師: 那XXX在那時候已經死了? 目擊者: ...沒有, 他坐在解剖台上, 也不知道我為何在對她進行驗屍!!! : ____________________________________________ : ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? : WITNESS: Huh? 律師: 妳有驗尿的資格嗎? 目擊者: 蛤?? : ____________________________________________ : And the best for last: : ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a : pulse? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you : began the autopsy? : WITNESS: No. : ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? : WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. : ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? : WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and : practicing law. 律師: 醫生, 妳驗屍之前是否有看她是否有脈搏? 目擊者: 沒有 律師: 妳是否有看她有沒有血壓? 目擊者: 沒有 律師: 妳是否有看她有沒有呼吸? 目擊者: 沒有 律師: 那當你在進行驗屍的時候, 那個人是否有還可能活著? 目擊者: 不可能 律師: 妳為何這麼肯定呢, 醫生? 目擊者: 因為那個人的腦袋已經放在我桌子上的瓶子裡了... 律師: 可是, 那個人是否還有可能是活著的? 目擊者: ... 對, 有可能活著, 而且還在當律師 = =" --

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