http://origin.twincities.com/timberwolves/ci_5938677?nclick_check=1 The Timberwolves have their religious imagery all mixed up. Instead of arming Randy Foye with holy water from Lourdes and sending him to the NBA draft lottery in Secaucus, N.J., they should have given him a small statue of St. Jude - the patron saint of hopeless causes. "Or St. Dymphna," said the Rev. Peter A. Laird, vice rector at the Saint Paul Seminary School of Divinity. St. Dymphna is the patron saint of mental disorders. Clearly, Father Laird follows the Timberwolves. The holy water, from the site in France where the Virgin Mary is said to have appeared in 1858, supposedly has remarkable healing powers. There are documented cases in which people who were unable to walk bathed in the water and then tossed away their crutches. So the Wolves would have been much better served by pouring the holy water into the team whirlpool and then having any number of their point guards jump in. Perhaps they would have emerged more mobile. Instead, a sample of the water, obtained by Wolves assistant general manager Rob Babcock, was given to Foye to take to Secaucus. Foye will represent the Wolves at the draft lottery on Tuesday. The hope is that the holy water will help change the team's awful luck at these things. "With holy water, we remind ourselves that God does act in the material world," Father Laird said. "Water being the symbol of new life. "But before asking for a miracle, they might try to address things in the material. Taking care of business. Like getting Kevin Garnett some help. They've had some miserable trades and drafts." Well, we were laughing about it the other day. After all, here in the material world, the Wolves really are screwed up. A bit of holy water might be hard-pressed to work a miracle of this magnitude. These NBA lotteries used to be a big deal around here. The Wolves would open up Target Center and throw a party while the ping-pong balls bounced around in the hopper. But after years of rotten luck, Target Center now is locked up tightly for this event. And team executives usually spend the day at home, under their beds, with pillows covering their heads. I don't know why we even bother going through the motions. There's a simple, foolproof method for determining when the Wolves will get to pick. There's no need to wait for the ping-pong balls to come out of the hopper: Take the number of impact players available in the draft and then add one. That's where the Wolves will wind up selecting. It always has been this way, and nothing apparently can change it. The organization has sent everyone from owners to coaches to ushers to area panhandlers to represent them at the NBA version of Powerball. No dice. To this day I wonder how a bit of luck on lottery day might have changed the entire franchise. Heck, the Wolves don't need good luck. They just don't need any more bad luck. In 1992, for example, the team finished an abysmal 15-67, 40 games behind the division-winning Utah Jazz. That was by far the worst record in the league. The Wolves should have had the No. 1 draft pick, which would have netted Shaquille O'Neal. Instead, the ping-pong balls didn't cooperate, and they wound up at No. 3 They didn't get Shaq. They didn't even get Alonzo Mourning, who went second. Instead they got the spoiled little prince, Christian Laettner. The next year they picked just low enough to miss out on Penny Hardaway, settling instead for J.R. Rider. The year after, they ended up with Donyell Marshall instead of Jason Kidd. And on and on and on. Now they are trying the holy-water approach. Perhaps in 2008 they will try human sacrifice. And I just happen to have a front-office type in mind for the ceremony. "I don't know if the holy water from Lourdes will help them to get a better selection," Father Laird said. "It sounds like the water is a bit like their version of a rabbit's foot." Been there, done that. Rabbits' feet, lucky bottle tops, pictures of the grandkids, unicorn figurines - you name it. I just hope Foye doesn't get run over by a bus while he's in Secaucus. That's the type of luck the Wolves have on lottery day. "Obviously, they are hoping and praying that something extraordinary will happen," said Father Laird. Yeah, but I think they would be better off praying to St. Dymphna. She's perfect for them. --

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