以下為個人意見，當然有可能自己見識不廣歡迎討論 : I am Mei. 這裡建議把自己英文名字全名打出來，畢竟名字叫做Mei的有成千上萬個 把全名打出來，看你自傳的人也才比較記得這篇是誰的自傳 : After graduating from Aletheia University, I applied for a : master of economics in Ming Chuan University. My thesis examined the : relationship between a firm size and R&D performance by utilizing : Metafrontier model; and further, I adopted the Network DEA to provide : managerial insight for enhancing performance. 這個部分建議直接把"敘述"的過程改成"結果" 你這邊提到你大學畢業以後跑去念研究所 而你的碩士論文題目是用Metafrontier model和DEA法來驗證公司規模和R&D績效的關係 以提供增進績效的管理意涵 Well, so what? 這邊對於看你自傳的人，心中就會出現一個疑問：這和你申請我這個工作有什麼關係? 你應該在這段求學經歷的部分，強調你和別的學生不一樣的地方 例如你參加了什麼商業競賽、擔任過什麼義工還是大使 或著是把你在寫論文過程中的"專業"展現出來 (eg. 資料蒐集、舉辦研討會行政、與大人物接洽等) 並且強調你最後產出的結果 (eg. 我這篇碩論最後被某某研討會接受並發表) 這樣比較會吸引人，不然你仔細再想一想你寫這一段的最後 是不是看不到「所以呢」這三個字? 以我個人來講，當初我寫碩論的時候剛好也接一個國科會計劃 所以我就在我的自傳裡面加上我做國科會計畫的背景 (eg. 專業國科會計畫申辦：從計畫書提案+簡報+資料分析+專家座談+結案報告全包^.<) 最後我的碩論也成功在科管年會上面有個小小的空間做"海報發表" 這就是我和別人不一樣的地方... 你一定也會有你和別人不一樣的地方，記得凸顯出來 : In terms of certificate received, I have got 7 financial professional : credentials and scored 680 in the TOEIC exam since I studied in the : university. Therefore, improving my foreign language competence will be : regarded as one of my primary goals. 這邊的邏輯怪怪的 In terms of certificate received→這句話你是想要說"關於我拿到的證照"是吧? 恩....力量不太夠 或許可以改成：For my competence improving, I've been agressive for testing my financial expertise, so I get 7 financial professional credentials, which means that I've prepared for the real business world. 另外在improving my foreign language competence.. →你說改進你的語言能力是你其中一個的主要目標 一樣的情況，這和你申請這個工作有什麼關係? 應該是說你的TOEIC有680分，因此可以勝任普通的英文對話或是文書工作 要強調你過去成就所能夠帶來的「成果」，而不是敘述你過去的所作所為 (題外話，680分算是個尷尬的分數，建議你可以再挑戰到750分up) : When serving as an professor's assistant in graduate school, I learned a : sense of responsibility toward students, above all, those affairs of students : relative to their term grade are required more careful. Due to this : acquirement, I must ensure that client rights and interests will be my top : priority.Besides, since I often had to think about supervisor’s requests in : advance,the position allowed me to enhance not only aggressive attitude : but also problem solving ability. those affairs of students relative to their term grade are required more careful.→句子有誤， ↑(要加上which are) 或許你是要表達those affairs of students "are" relative to their term grade, so that I have to pay much more attention on it. (我需要更加注意這些事) 另外在I must ensure that...這段，不知道是不是我多想了 我看的感覺是：不過是當個助教，有那麼嚴重到要注意顧客的權利和利益嗎= =? 你也提到除了「顧客權益」之外，你必須在老闆的要求下取得平衡 可以換個方式講 When serving as a professor's assistant in graduate school, I had some real working experience in college. For instance, since the scores are the top concerns of my "clients"-students, so I must be as accurate as I can to ensure everything will be exactly right. Futhermore, I have to take my "boss" -the professor- into consideration, therefore I can serve both of students and professor. All of these make me be an aggressive person and have very strong problem solving ability. : 最後會再加上幾句結語 : 請版友幫忙修改 : 感謝! 大概是這樣，個人淺見 加油!!! --

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