(版貓註:去年新加坡龍舟隊在柬埔寨發生翻船意外,5名隊員喪生, 罹難者家屬要求龍船協會道歉未果, 記者訪問幾名公關的意見, Kit是其中之一) http://newpaper.asiaone.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,171231,00.html Families of the 5 paddlers who died in Cambodia want the dragon boat association to apologise, but will it ever happen? By Maureen Koh July 21, 2008 IT'S one simple word. Yet sorry seems to be the hardest word. In this case, it is the one word that the families of the five paddlers who died in Cambodia want. They want the Singapore Dragon Boat Association (SDBA) to apologise for failing to insist that life jackets be worn for the race. Mr Stephen Loh, 31, Mr Poh Boon San, 27, Mr Jeremy Goh, 24, Mr Reuben Kee, 23 and Mr Chee Wei Cheng, 20, drowned in the Tonle Sap River when their boat capsized after a race last November. On Thursday - three days after the families held a press conference - the SDBA released a statement. The New Paper on Sunday understands that the families went to the press after failing to get a desired response from the SDBA. The statement said the independent safety inquiry panel did not find the SDBA responsible for the mishap. It noted that some previous statements had upset the families. 'It was never our intention to hurt anybody and we apologise if the families considered our statements as insensitive,' the statement said. FEAR But why is it so difficult to say 'we're sorry'? It's the fear that saying sorry is an admission of liability, said all six representatives of public relations and corporate communications companies interviewed. Such legal implications could have deterred an apology. Ms Cecilia Tan, executive director of Foreword Communications, said: 'Perhaps the SDBA is reading between the fine lines... and worrying it could be held legally responsible.' But the families have publicly indicated that they were seeking an apology so they can get closure for their losses. Mr Freddie Kee, Rueben's father, told The New Paper on Sunday: 'We're not asking for monetary compensation. We just want the SDBA to acknowledge that it did not do its best, and it could have done better.' Ms Tan said: 'Look, at the end of the day, the families just want someone to come and say 'we're sorry that it happened and we should have insisted (on the safety vests)'.' The New Paper on Sunday did a random poll of 50 people and found only two felt an apology was unnecessary. Mrs Olivia Verghese, 47, said that while she empathised with the families, it has been more than six months since the tragedy. The boutique owner added: 'At that time, the SDBA had offered its full support and assistance to the bereaved families. Surely then, some forms of apology would have been said.' But it is never too late to say sorry, said Miss Kit Chan, celebrity turned campaign specialist. 'It's not when you apologise but how you do it,' said Miss Chan, of Hill & Knowlton. 'There are many different kinds of sorry, such as showing sympathy, taking responsibility. It is only appropriate that you do it with heart.' Miss Chan conceded that sometimes, it is easier for an individual to offer an apology. She added: 'When it involves a company or an organisation, there is a corporate image that has to be upheld.' But the most negative impact can be when the appointed spokesman offers a 'sorry, I have no comment' response. Miss Chan said: 'It is not right and it ends up making the corporation look bad.' Freelance designer Kieran Goh, 38, who had followed news reports on the tragedy closely, asked: 'How do you think the family members feel now that it (the report) is like saying, hey it was your boys' fault, you know?' Echoing that view was Mr Kee, who said: 'It's not right that the findings of the report made the boys look like they were in the wrong. 'Don't push the blame to them.' But the SDBA said that while it fully respected the families' right and prerogative to express their wishes, the question of responsibility had been fully investigated by an independent panel. The findings had also been made public. Mr Henry Ta, 40, an engineer, found it hard to accept that. He said: 'Why can't SDBA see that it's not about pushing the blame on anyone? 'In such a tragedy, people need the closure so that they can move on.' But it is only when one forgives that one can heal, said Ms Tan. 'Remember that for the boys who died, their journey has ended. It is those who're left behind, who did not have the chance to say their goodbyes who are left to cope and recover.' Often, the recovery process takes longer under sudden, tragic circumstances. Ms Tan said: 'The families just need to hear that the SDBA is sorry - not dismissing responsibility. 'It is only when that happens that they can move on.' -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- THEY SAID IT... ACCORDING to Elton John, sorry seems to be the hardest word. But not an impossible one. MAUREEN KOH picks out some noted apologies made here and abroad. WHO: Deputy Prime Minister and Home Affairs Minister Wong Kan Seng WHEN: February 2008 WHY: In response to Jemaah Islamiyah detainee Mas Selamat Kastari's escape from the Whitley Road Detention Centre on 27 Feb. WHO: Defence Minister Teo Chee Hean WHEN: October 2003 WHY: He expressed deep regret over the death of commando Hu Enhuai, who died after having his head dunked in water in August 2003, during a combat survival course. WHO: Former Thai prime minister General Surayud Chulanont WHEN: November 2006 WHY: For the deaths of 84 local Muslims during a riot in Tak Bai, near the Malaysian border, in 2004 at the hands of the army. WHO: Pope Benedict XVI WHEN: April 2008 WHY: For sex abuse by the clergy, which had led to high-profile resignations, successful prosecutions and the church paying out more than US$2 billion ($2.7b) in compensation --

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