Good afternoon! I have been bothered and disturbed for many years with the illness of schizophrenia. Maybe it's due to this disease, I feel that I am confronted with a lot of difficulties. Many people no matter in strangers on the streets, new colleagues that I don't know, store managers that I come in to buy something look at me differently. My psychiatrist said that some other patients would consider themselves as the illegitimate daughters of gong zaak man, the president of China. So they are powerful due to their identity. I am disturbed by those strangers that have known me without any reason. I am the daughter of a taxi driver. My father drives the taxi as his occupation for 30 years. After retirement, he goes to work for the civil engineering company as a QC for 6 years. Our family is as poor as the common family in New Taipei City. I hate those stranger that have known me and look down upon me or react some odd behavior or emotional facial expression to me!!! I hate it! I need to work hard and strive for my rest of the life. Why don't those stranger give up disturbing me? Can they forgive me or let me go? I miss those days when I haven't met my professor, Dr. Cheng. When I was a child to 25 years old, I grow up with a successful life experience. I was the model student and I earned good reputaiton among classmates. My teacher all look up to me. I was the leader among my friends. I can paint, write, play electronic piano, play basketball. I was the captain of the basketball team in my class when I was in high school. I used to be admired by the teachers or the schools. I was the first prize taker or the third prize taker. I draw many boys' attention. Nevertheless, I should stop complaints. I just need to face the reality that I got the disease of schizophrenia. Many strangers that look down upon me are all "Not Existed". They are not "REAL". I live in "ILLUSION". Yes, I live in a paradise of illusion. Maybe I should watch the movie of Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons. I was the freak of swine, pig, demon. I am not existed. Hopefully you could live happily forever! Have a nice weekend! --

※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc), 來自: 114.42.157.129 ※ 文章網址: https://webptt.com/m.aspx?n=bbs/EngTalk/M.1517722344.A.1EA.html ※ 編輯: dosandonts (114.42.157.129), 02/04/2018 13:37:47