I think I am in another one of my major depressive episodes. Typical symptoms include loss of interest, sudden urges to cry, and sleepiness. I usually have about one or two major depressive episodes every couple months. Don't ask me to see a psychiatrist, because I majored in biochemistry and I know what effects these so-called helpfull drugs have. What brought it on this time? I am disappointed in life, in my life in particular. I can't envision the future and I can't imagine what I will be doing 5 years from now. Sure I am pursuing a degree at the moment, but it feels like the diploma will end up a useless piece of paper. I don't know what I want in life, and I am scared that I don't know what to do with life. I had a nightmare a couple nights ago. All I remember from the nightmare was that people were disappointed in me, or angry at me, for whatever reason. I'm such a failure in everything, except maybe in academics. I don't have friends that I can share my thoughts with. I want but can't find a boyfriend that I can cuddle up to. I can't find a direction. I'm too indecisive and shy, that is one of my major faults. I just want to cry into someone's shoulder right now. *sniff* I have a major midterm essay due this saturday. I have to get working on that soon, and hopefully that will distract me long enough for this episode to be over. Is it too much to ask for some encouragement? --

※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 140.116.137.156