It's hard to decide when to graduate from college.... just a bachelor degree...it's already killing me T^T i wanna have more research experiences...and I got into a research program funded by my department~~it's kinda a good news to me...however... this program actually changes my plan~~~and i'm so lost now I don't wanna stay in school forever... but I don't think i'm able to manage so many things and classes next quarter, because i'm not a capable person to do so~~ my english is not very good...to be honest... and it takes me a much longer time to study than others in order to do well in class. especially my writing is a total crap...beyond belief... i asked two ABC friends to revise my little paper before I turned it in, and i also asked my TA to help me go through the flaw and everything. nonetheless, my teacher still said that I have syntax problem. and I only got a freaking B. After the terrible curve, my grade dropped down to C+. it's so embarrassed to complain this kind of personal business since i've been studying in US for three years+. shame on myself Q____________Q I've never felt i'm an idiot before..well...i'm not gonna mention any past events anyway~~ so...i have to be a super senior, because i can't complete all the classes "on time." I would say...i'd love to do anything i could..and i AM trying hard.. but i can't stop doubting myself... i guess i need to learn how to identify myself again...at this old age Q.Q i guess enough frustrations here already... then...be a happy super senior!! it's ok, and it's fine i guess i just don't like myself becoming a person valuing the outcome more than the process... i don't want myself to become a student who wants A only. there are so many things more important than a freaking A... don't forget why you came here, why you wanna pursue your dream... and why you want to become a clinical psyhologist... it's ok that your english sucks...you have your dictionary! it's ok that other people tease at your efforts all the time. you don't need to be down, it's really okay. god's with you, god's in you, god will protect you.... don't belittle yourself when going to class. sitting in the first row is not a shame at all. you should feel proud of yourself. don't cry....final is coming, you are not gonna sit here crying for days. super senior, why not!? i'm gonna take some happy chinese classes next quarter. some chinese classes, two research projects, and two research labs.. it's just a piece of shit for others, maybe... but you know yourself, it's not gonna be easy for you. and it's okay to feel a little overwhelmed, it's ok. remember, you are a chinese lit major before! take a deep breath, and keep walking! not to keep walking on the ranking scales though......duh -- http://www.wretch.cc/album/cct0830 我的加州生活 :p --

※ 發信站: 批踢踢實業坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 76.172.86.36 ※ 編輯: cctina 來自: 76.172.86.36 (12/04 19:00)