WHAT I AM SAYING IS THE STRUGGLE IN MY MIND, OR YOU CAN SAY, BRAIN. THOSE TWO ARE THE THOUGHTS THAT I HAVE, THE CONSCIENCE AND THE SELFISHNESS, AND THEY FIGHT WITH EACH OTHER. BY THE WAY, I MAY TRYING TO SAY A LOVE STORY. I REALIZED THEIR EXISTANCE SINCE MY EX LEFT ME. I KNOW SHE LOVED ME WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER, BUT SOON AFTER SHE WENT BACK TO JAPAN, WE HAVEN'T KEPT IN TOUCH UNTIL RIGHT NOW, IT IS FROM MAY, HALF A YEAR. I KNOW I WAS NOT A GOOD MAN, EVEN I THOUGHT I AM GOOD AT DEALING WITH GIRL, BUT THE TRUTH IS: I AM STILL TOO YOUNG. AFTER FEW DAYS SHE LEFT, I WENT BACK TO TAIWAN FOR THREE MONTH AND MET MY EX EX AGIAN. SHE IS THE GIRLS I LOVED DEEPLY BEFORE, BUT WE COULD NOT BEAR THE PHYSICAL DISTANCE THAT WE HAVE, FIVE THOUSAND MILES AWAY? MAYBE. AFTER WE LOST EACH OTHER FOR TWO YEARS, WE STARTED DATING AGAIN. SORROWFUL THINGS HAPPENED ON HER RECENTLY, I HATED MYSELF AND FEEL SORRY DEEPLY FOR HER. I WAS SO SAD AND SOBBED FOR HER. I HATED THAT WHY COULD I STAYED WITH HER AND COMFORT HER ANYTIME SHE WANTS ME. BUT IN AUGUST, I LEFT HER IN TAIWAN. AFTER I GOT BACK, I LOOKED AROUND THE THINGS MY EX LEFT IN MY ROOM AND THINK. I FOUND OUT I DID NOT LOVE HER. BUT I CRIED FOR HER, I WAS CRAZY FOR HER, AND I EVEN HARMED MYSELF BECAUSE OF HER. WELL, WAS THAT LOVE? THE SELFISHNESS GUY IN MY MIND KNOCKED MY HEAD AND SAYS: "YOU DUMB, YOU DUNNO YOU JUST PRETEND TO LOVE HER SO MUCH AND SATISFY YOURS IMAGE IN YOUR MIND? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT! YOU DON'T LOVE HER COMPLETELY, AND YOU ARE JUST A GOOD ACTOR, YOU PERFORMED A STRONG LOVER IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, BUT RIGHT NOW YOU QUIT, YOU KNOW ABOUT YOURSELF, YOU DON'T FEEL SAD TO HER, YYOU JUST FEEL SORRY!" THE CONSCIENCE GUY HAS NOTHING TO SAY, BUT I CAN FEEL THE PAIN HE GAVE ME. HOW ABOUT MY EX EX? DO I LOVE HER? THE CONSCIENCE GUY WERE NOT SURE ABOUT THE ANSWER, BUT THE SELFISHNESS IS LAUGHING AT ME. PIKA 12/23 --

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