[Scene: Carol and Susan's, Ross is preparing to talk to her belly.] Carol: Anytime you're ready. Ross: Ok, ok, here we go. (he crouches down near her stomach) Ok, where am I talking to, here? I mean, uh, well, there is one way that seems to offer a certain acoustical advantage, but... Carol: Just aim for the bump. Ross: Ok, ok, ok, ok, here goes. You know, I, you know, can't do this. Uh, this is too weird. I feel stupid. Carol: So don't do it, it's fine. You don't have to do it just because Susan does it. Ross: (quickly talking) Hello, baby. Hello, hello. [Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the group is coming back from the roof.] Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park. Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean. Monica: Ok, right about now the turkey should be crispy on the outside, juicy on the inside. Why are we standing here? Rachel: We're waiting for you to open the door. You got the keys. Monica: No I don't. Rachel: Yes, you do. When we left, you said, "got the keys." Monica: No I didn't. I asked, "got the ke-eys?" Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys". Chandler: Do either of you have the keys? Monica: (panicked) The oven is on. Rachel: Oh, I gotta get my ticket! Joey: Wait, wait, we have a copy of your key. Monica: Well then get it, get it! Joey: That tone will not make me go any faster. Monica: (angry) Joey! Joey: That one will. (Joey leaves to get the copy of the key.) [Scene: Carol and Susan's, Carol is reading, Ross is talking to her stomach.] Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore. Carol: Look, you don't have to talk to it. You can sing to it if you want. Ross: Oh, please. I am not singing to your stomach, ok? (Susan enters.) Susan: Hi, how's it goin? Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that? Carol: I did. Ross: Does it always, uh--? Carol: No, no that was the first. Susan: Keep singing! Keep singing! Ross: (singing) Hey, hey, you're my baby, and I can't wait to meet you. When you come out I'll buy you a bagel, and then we'll go to the zoo. Susan: I felt it! Ross: (singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts. --

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