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108 Part-05 [Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.] Phoebe: Okay, don't worry, I'm just checking to see if the muscle's in spasm...huh. Ross: What, what is it? Phoebe: You missed a belt loop. Ross: Oh! No-n- Phoebe: Okay, it's in spasm. Mrs. Geller: Here, sweetie, here. I took these when I had my golfing accident. (Hands Ross a bottle of pills. Then turns to Monica and pats her hair over her ears) (Cut to Chandler and a woman, Andrea, reaching for the same slice of meat) Chandler: Oh, no- Andrea: Sorry- Hi, I'm Dorothy's daughter. Chandler: Hi, I'm Chandler, and I have no idea who Dorothy is. (They shake hands. Cut to Ross emerging from a hallway, grinning inanely. He is obviously very stoned) Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel? Ross: I feel great. I feel- great, I fleel great. Monica: Wow, those pills really worked, huh? Ross: Not the first two, but the second two- woooo! ...I love you guys. You guys are the greatest. I love my sister (Kisses Monica), I love Pheebs... (Hugs her) Phoebe: Ooh! That's so nice... Ross: ...Chandler! Chandler: Hey. Ross: (hugs him) And listen, man, if you wanna be gay, be gay. Doesn't matter to me. Andrea: (turns to a friend) You were right. (They walk off and leave Chandler.) Ross: Rachel. Rachel Rachel. (Sits down beside her) I love you the most. Rachel: (humouring him) Oh, well you know who I love the most? Ross: No. Rachel: You! Ross: Oh.. you don't get it! (Passes out and slumps across her) (Cut to Joey watching TV in the corner. He makes an extravagant gesture of disappointment.) Mr. Geller: Whaddya got there? Joey: (hides the TV, but he still has an earphone) Just a, uh... hearing disability. Mr. Geller: What's the score? Joey: Seventeen-fourteen Giants... three minutes to go in the third. Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him) (Time lapse. A large crowd of men are now watching the game) Rachel: (still trapped under Ross) Pheebs, could you maybe hand me a cracker? Mrs. Geller: (to Monica) Your grandmother would have hated this. Monica: Well, sure, what with it being her funeral and all. Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'. Monica: That sounds like Nana. Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say? Monica: ...I can imagine. Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is. Monica: That is a wonder. So tell me something, Mom. If you had to do it all over again, I mean, if she was here right now, would you tell her? Mrs. Geller: Tell her what? Monica: How she drove you crazy, picking on every little detail, like your hair... for example. Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at. Monica: Do you think things would have been better if you'd just told her the truth? Mrs. Geller: ...No. I think some things are better left unsaid. I think it's nicer when people just get along. Monica: Huh. Mrs. Geller: More wine, dear? Monica: Oh, I think so. Mrs. Geller: (reaches out to fiddle with Monica's hair again, and realises) Those earrings look really lovely on you. Monica: Thank you. They're yours. Mrs. Geller: Actually they were Nana's. (There is a cry of disappointment from the crowd of men.) Mr. Geller: Now I'm depressed! ...(To everyone) Even more than I was. --



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