我目前在英国就读博士班，其中经历申请硕士以及申请博士两个阶段， 也带过蛮多学生申请研究所，所以看过应该上百份SOP。 之前在版上波过一篇「如何请教授写推荐信」，如今想波一篇「SOP写作技巧」， 希望我的经验对版友有帮助。 我在留英版另外有波一些我在剑桥硕士留学一年的心得，分为新到篇，派对篇， 社交篇，时间管理篇等等。有兴趣的版友可以参考看看。 问题一：英文辞不达意或是中式英文或是上句不接下句 这应该是最明显的问题。毕竟英文不是我们的母语，写起来一定没办法很顺。 英文的写法是每一段要有主题句，一个段落只写一个主题。 中文的写法是行云流水，如果其一其二的这样写看起来很硬，通常会被国文老师 批很惨。 以下为一个我之前改过的SOP的例子。我把所有比较私人的资讯都删掉了。 In May 20XX, as I was auditing the taxes of a firm, I discovered that the law that XXX could apply to this company. This company had a researching department. At the same time, as I was testing the salary cycles, I discovered that the company did periodical training. In the end, the company did not only save one million in taxes but could receive a reimbursement of 400,000 NTD in taxes. 如果以上这一段用中文写，其实还算不错，但是用英文写的时，上下句没什麽关联。 会让读者看不出因果，连续的关系。 所以改为： I discovered that the company was qualified for a tax refund based on its investments and staff training. In my investigation, I found out that the company had an investment department and that it did periodical staff training. However, during that time, the company did not realize that these would qualify it for a tax refund. When I applied the taxation law to the company, I not only saved the company one million NTD in taxes, the company also received a tax refund of 400,000 NTD. 所以当你在写SOP时，要注意每一段的主题是什麽，以及每一句上下句之间关联。 尽量多用时态去表示前後关系，以及however, although等连接用， 标示出前後关系。 问题二：过度谦虚或是没有展现出你的强处 我们台湾人讲话比较客气，通常我们认为谦虚是美德。我们往往认为我们之前做的 研究真的就没什麽，所以讲的时候也不敢大肆宣扬自己有多励害。 但是在写SOP的时候，要注意学校完全不了解你，他不会知道你是在谦虚， 所以只要是有例证可以证明你真的不错，可以尽量写出来。 有时你认为不值得一提的事情，在SOP中却是非常重要的。 像是参加游泳队，每天早上得六点起床在冰冷的水里训练。 或是自己一个人玩遍整个欧洲，订机票订飞车票，找住宿都是自己来。 甚至是教钢琴，让一个自闭的小孩开始跟人群接触。 重点在这些小事你如何说明。 以下为一个语气非常没有自信的范例，同样的，我把所有的个人资讯都删除了。 As an undergraduate student, I did not have any outstanding research results. During the summer vacation of 20XX, I planned to do a small project on XXX model applied to the prediction of XXX, but after writing the abstract, I realized that even with the help of XXX, I still did not have the required knowledge and ability. However, I took a graduate course of the Musicology Department during that year. The professor taught us that music is not only music but consist of other cultural elements. Each of the student who participated in class had to hand in a term project (which had to be written in English) at the end of the semester, and my paper was "XXX." In this class, I learned about the steps of doing research, and discovering whether a hypothesis could be proven by experiments and field research made me excited. 以上这个范例也有上句不接下句的问题。作者先提到他做一个project，但是又太难， 所以就去修了一个非本科系的课。这样写会让读者完全抓不到为什麽project做不出来， 要去修别的科系的课。 另外，直接说大学部的研究没什麽了不起的，真的是SOP的写作中非常忌讳的。 我请原作把他做过的研究写清楚一些，於是变成以下这样： During the summer vacation of 20XX, I planned to do a small project on applying the XXX model to the prediction of sport lottery, but after writing the abstract, I realized that even with the help of my father, I still did not have the required knowledge and ability. So I decided to take two graduate courses in the following semester. Lectured by a young professor, Microeconomic Theorem (I) was about a broader view of economic theorem: from the fundamental convexity to the derivation of demand function; through done-to-the-detail mathematics, the construction process of economic model became vivid. The other course belonged to the Musicology Department, which required students to conduct term projects in English. While discussing different cultures, I learned to think in more different perspectives than before. At the same time, I followed my professor closely to try to write a good paper using anthropologic research methods 问题三：花太多字数讲一个事件 通常SOP都会限字数，所以尽量每一个字都用在刀口上。如果可以三句话讲完的， 不要用十句话讲。另外，有一些客套话其实可以不用写，像是刚开始的 「我对贵校很有兴趣因为你们是很好的学校，我觉得我会学到很多。」 以及最後的「希望你们给我机会，我一定会努力的研究学习很多知识。」 附上一个范例，第一个例子大约100字，第二个例子六十多个字。 In a short term, after finishing the curriculum, I plan to go back to my country and get a license in accounting. As entering accounting firm, I will enhance my observation and understanding of Taiwan's industry. For outside investors, financial reports approved by accountants are important messages. In a long term, I hope to integrate diverse financial information, the knowledge that I learned in the MS in accounting program, my knowledge in international law and my financial market knowledge. So, I can serve as a consultant and manage various international affairs as well as the valuations of multinational industries. My short-term goal is to return to Taiwan and obtain a license in Accounting. I will work at an accounting firm and observe Taiwan's industries more closely. My long-term goal is to integrate my knowledge of the financial market, international law, and accounting so that I will be able to serve as a consultant and manage various types of international affairs as well as evaluate multinational industries. 问题四：不要以台湾为耻 这个看起来很政治敏感，但是我在修改的过程中，常常会发现很多人对於自己是 台湾的大学毕业的会很没有自信。先不论我们台湾的研究跟世界相比如何， 这一种语气一出来对你的SOP非常的不利。 尤其是做国际关系，文学等领域研究的人，可以多加强自己的台湾背景。 大部份的外国人都知道台湾的情型，也都蛮好奇的。如果能够把台湾的情型写进SOP， 对我们来说很普通的现象，对外国人来说是很奇特的。 另外蛮多台湾人会说日文，或是去日本交换学生过，但是SOP里往往都只轻轻带过。 你可能会觉得，台湾人那麽多去过日本，会说日文，而且你现在要申请的的是美国英国 讲台湾日本有什麽用？但是这就是让你的SOP跟美国大学生写的不一样的特点。 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 到最後，我常常觉得台湾人写SOP时出的不是英文问题，而英文有问题请老外请代办 修一修就好了，出问题的往往是内容跟语气，老外跟代办能帮的蛮有限的。 最後毕竟SOP是自己要拿去申请的，你自己的经验跟研究也是只有你自己最了解。 所以SOP的成败还是看你自己。 拿给老板改当然也是不错的方式，但是老板时间有限，不可能帮你仔细修每一个句子， 只能给你大略的建议。 我有认识几位剑桥的硕博士生，有时会接一些翻译(英法，非中英)或是论文润饰的案子。 不过他们通常都是打工性质，毕竟主要还是在做研究，而且他们可能会觉得 论文润饰蛮难赚的，指导大学生时薪25磅。 但是如果版友有兴趣的，可以跟我联络，我帮你问问看最近有没有人在接案子。 或是趁我现在比较有时间，可以帮忙一下版友看看你的文章。 --

※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc) ◆ From: 91.144.26.202 ※ 编辑: shepherdess 来自: 91.144.26.202 (09/23 18:04)