Today I went to see my sister and my nephew. She showed me her son's books. One of them is about pretend. Piggie pretends she is a cat so she meows. The elephant asks her why she is doing this. She tells the elephant that she is just pretending. Pretend is to do something that is not you. Elephant is a bit worried so Piggie goes on and says "everyone pretends." In the end Piggie and the elephant are playing the pretend game. Yes. Everyone pretends. I am studying a subject that I feel no passion for. However, somehow I just feel that is necessary. Somehow that is something I need to do. I am practicing how to pretend that I am passionate about it. I am doing it probably because of my previous work expriences. I bet that people in this circle also pretend. I missed an opportunity to study in Sydney. However, I know if I would have a chance to step in, I would also need to play the pretend game. I had this feeling while working in Melbourne. Everyone pretended to care about their study but in fact they just cared about if they still could keep their job, if they could make the work/life balance, and if they could get promoted. She told me she was "hooked up" by the research work. However, I know she is also struggling with her work as academic is not as fancy as outsiders thought. People say you should be true to yourself. However, when we say this, we try to ignore how much play game we are doing every single day. Now my job is to play the pretend well. 天啊听起来好可悲... -- 〒 Z ◢██◣ Z ◢█ˇ█ˋ◣ z ◥ˊ██◤ ◆▌ ▲ ×Girafe aime rêver× --

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