作者n3oanderson (T. J.)
看板poetry
标题I am always in a dream
时间Mon Feb 4 02:40:04 2008
I am always in a dream from which I am unable to wake.
The dream is so sure that is real, but difficult to tell.
Two fire were twisted together, lightening horribly.
One desperately devoured what remained still.
A sojourner did silently observe the trend;
As film noir flipped over pages and again
The story began!
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◆ From: 87.194.42.127
1F：推 EddyGuitar:很有意思喔! 203.187.123.4 02/06 23:09
2F：→ EddyGuitar:不过建议断句上多琢磨 营造节奏 203.187.123.4 02/06 23:10
3F：→ EddyGuitar:很少看到每一行都是完整的句子 203.187.123.4 02/06 23:11
4F：推 EddyGuitar:那诗中的fire似乎是很重要的核心 203.187.123.4 02/06 23:15
5F：→ EddyGuitar:可以多着墨fire的意象 相信会更震撼 203.187.123.4 02/06 23:15
6F：→ n3oanderson:这是一开始写下来的初稿.原本有尝试修 87.194.42.127 02/07 21:45
7F：→ n3oanderson:改, 不过技术不佳. 还要多练习. 87.194.42.127 02/07 21:51
8F：→ n3oanderson:谢谢指教: ) 87.194.42.127 02/07 21:52
9F：推 EddyGuitar:共勉之罗 写作就是慢慢的前进过程 ^^ 203.187.123.4 02/09 16:00