作者belleaya (台中李奥纳多皮卡丘)
看板joke
标题[翻译] Polish Jokes 波兰笑话集 (6)
时间Fri Jul 12 04:43:45 2013
好读：
http://belleaya.pixnet.net/blog/post/32251727
这次口味真的很重
歧视味很浓
不过基本上就是把它当欧美对波兰人的玩笑话看吧!!
不要起争议
(1)
Q: How do you stop a Polish tank?
A: Shoot the guys pushing it.
Q: 要怎麽让一台波兰坦克车停下来？
A: 射死後面推车的人。
(2)
There was this Polish woman who just delivered a baby.
Her doctor came into her room
and saw her with a bag of ice in between her breasts.
Her doctor asks how come?
She says, "that's to keep the milk fresh."
一个波兰女人刚生了小孩。
她的医生来到她房间
然後看到她拿一袋冰块放在她乳房之间。
她医生问她为什麽要放冰块？
她说：「要让母奶保鲜。」
(3)
Q: Why are there only two pallbearers at a Polish funeral?
A: A garbage can only has two handles.
Q: 为什麽波兰的丧礼只需要两个人抬棺？
A: 垃圾桶只有两个把手。
(4)
Q: How do you know when a Pollack has been in your back yard?
A: Your garbage is gone and your dog is pregnant.
Q: 要怎麽知道一个波兰人在你的後院？
A: 你家的垃圾不见了，而你养的狗怀孕了。
(5)
Q: Why don't Polish women breast-feed their babies?
A: It hurts too much when they boil the nipples.
Q: 为什麽波兰女人不直接让她们的婴儿吸母奶？
A: 因为加热母奶的时候奶头太痛了。
(6)
Q: How does a polack take a shower?
A: Pee's in the wind.
Q: 波兰人怎麽淋浴？
A: 在风中尿尿。
(7)
Q: How do you make a pollock crazy?
A: Stick him a round room and tell him to piss in a corner!
Q: 要怎麽让一个波兰人发疯？
A: 把他关在圆形的房间，然後要他在角落尿尿。
(8)
A Pollack walked into a bar and sat down at the bar, where a news report was
on TV.
On the news a man was on a ledge outside an upper floor of a building
threatening to jump.
The bartender, who'd seen the news report before said,
"I'll bet you $50 he's going to jump."
The Pollack took the bet and put down a $50 bill on the bar.
Then the man on the ledge jumped to his death.
The bartender picked up the $50 bill but then, realizing that he'd taken
advantage of a poor, dumb Pollack,
his conscience got the better of him and he said,
"Look, I'm going to give you back your money. I have to confess that I saw
that news report before."
"That's O.K.," said the Pollack, "I saw it before too, but I didn't think he
was gonna do it again!"
一个波兰人进了酒吧并在吧台前坐下，而电视上正在播着新闻。
新闻中是一个男子站在高楼的窗台威胁要跳楼。
酒保已经看过这则新闻，就说：
「我跟你打赌五十元，那男的会跳。」
波兰人就跟他赌，放了五十元在吧台上。
然後那个窗台上的男子真的跳楼死了。
酒保拿了那五十元，但想说他其实是在占那个可怜的笨波兰人便宜，
他还是受不了良心的谴责，便说：
「嘿，我要把钱还给你。我要承认我之前已经看过这新闻了。」
「没关系，」波兰人说：「我也看过了，但是我没想到那男的会再跳一次！」
(9)
The first Polish spacecraft was put into orbit with two astronauts.
One of them took a space walk to repair something on the exterior of the
spacecraft.
When he was done he knocked on the airlock's inner door.
And the other Pollack asked, "Who's there?"
波兰的第一架太空船进入太空轨道，上面有两个太空人。
其中一个在太空中飘浮着维修太空船的外部。
当他修好後他敲了敲太空船气舱的内门。
另一个波兰人问道：「谁在敲门？」
(10)
Q: Why are Pollacks the only ones who eat shit?
A: They're the only ones who know how to cook it.
Q: 为什麽只有波兰人吃大便？
A: 因为他们是唯一知道怎麽烹调大便的。
(11)
Q: Why do they they throw shit on the walls at a Polish wedding?
A: To keep the flies off the bride.
Q: 为什麽波兰人要在婚礼时把大便丢在墙上？
A: 为了让新娘身上的苍蝇飞走。
(12)
Q: What does a Pollack use to clean salad bowls?
A: A bowl brush.
Q: 波兰人要怎麽洗碗？
A: 用马桶刷。
(13)
Did you hear of the polac who was told to blow up a car?
He burnt his mouth on the exhaust pipe.
你有听说被叫去帮车子打气的波兰人吗？
他在吹排气管的时候烫伤嘴巴。
(14)
Q: What's the biggest problem of Polish dump operators?
A: Shoplifting.
Q: 波兰的垃圾掩埋场最大的困扰是什麽？
A: 垃圾会被偷。
(15)
A ventriloquist had just finished his Pollack joke routine
when a huge, drunk Pollack confronted him,
"I'm sick of your Pollack jokes and I'm going to knock the shit out of you."
"I'm sorry, it was all in good fun, " replied the comedian.
The Pollack retorted, "I was talking to little asshole on your knee."
一个腹语娃娃师在例行表演讲波兰笑话之後，
碰上一个高大、醉醺醺的波兰人。
「我受够了你的波兰笑话，我要好好扁你一顿。」
「抱歉，我纯粹是为了娱乐效果而已。」那个腹语谐星答道。
波兰人回嘴说：「我是在跟你膝盖上那个小浑球说话！」
(16)
A Pollack walked into a bar with dogshit in his hand and said to the
bartender,
"Look what I almost stepped it!"
一个波兰人跑进酒吧，手上抓着狗大便，对酒保说：
「看我刚刚差点踩到什麽！」
(17)
A Pollack walked in to a pizza place and ordered a pizza.
The pizza man asked him, "Should I cut it into six pieces or eight?"
And the Pollack answered, "Cut it into six; I couldn't eat eight."
一个波兰人到披萨店点了一块披萨。
店员问他：「请问要切成六片还是八片呢？」
波兰人回答：「切六片吧！八片我吃不下。」
(18)
Q: Have you heard about the Polish cocktail?
A: Perrier and water.
Q: 你知道波兰的鸡尾酒怎做的吗？
A: 沛绿雅气泡矿泉水和水。
(19)
Q: What's the most popular Polish fast-food restaurant?
A: Booger King.
Q: 波兰最知名的速食餐厅是什麽？
A: 鼻屎王。
(20)
Q: Why do Polish airplanes fly so low?
A: So the pilots can read the street signs.
Q: 为什麽波兰的客机飞这麽低？
A: 这样机师才能看见路标。
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※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 140.113.55.152
1F：推 wer155216:贝勒爷还不睡阿 07/12 04:58
2F：→ belleaya:看论文看到超烦的就想说来翻一下波兰笑话~~ 07/12 05:04
3F：推 MEKURUMEKU:推 07/12 07:27
4F：推 sed99975:今天的攻击性很强啊XD 07/12 08:15
5F：推 stiles:good! 07/12 08:20
6F：推 mobilx:好像越来越偏向单纯人身攻击了.. 07/12 08:23
7F：推 hydrant:BOOGER KING XDDD 07/12 09:05
8F：推 ltser:Booger King XDDDDD 07/12 09:08
9F：推 hirabbitt:「看我刚刚差点踩到什麽！」 <--笑翻 07/12 09:27
10F：推 deadangel111:Q:如何对付台湾军队 A:让义务役退伍 07/12 09:50
11F：推 sd131420: 07/12 09:56
12F：→ deadangel111:Q:IDF最重要的修复工具是什麽 A:宝丽龙 07/12 09:58
13F：→ deadangel111:Q:当了一年的业参 你学到什麽 A:做假资料 07/12 10:05
14F：推 newtypeL9:看我刚刚差点踩到什麽XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 07/12 10:08
15F：推 nothisman:推 07/12 10:29
16F：嘘 chx64:没笑 满满的种族歧视味 07/12 10:38
17F：推 KanoLoa:可以把波兰换成乡民，就没有种族歧视了 07/12 10:47
18F：→ newtypeL9:乡民没有母奶 07/12 10:51
19F：嘘 simongarden:歧视偏见有什麽好笑… 07/12 11:26
20F：嘘 teason:... 07/12 11:58
21F：推 Connec:波兰人到底多讨人厌啦XDDDD 07/12 12:00
22F：推 d200190:会把这些笑话当真的才是真歧视 07/12 12:19
24F：→ simongarden:"0 You're a girl OR Chinese."... 07/12 12:44
25F：嘘 bokez:不懂皮卡丘翻这个为什麽这麽多推，看了很难过 07/12 12:47
26F：推 yl817803:好笑推 07/12 12:51
27F：推 HornyDragon:Booger King wwwwwwwwwwwwww 07/12 12:56
28F：推 f791026:推。会把笑话当真的才是真正的歧视 07/12 13:03
29F：推 sylvy:有看有推! 07/12 13:19
30F：推 u8572535:歧视是事实 但是好笑还是推 07/12 13:31
31F：嘘 GLHF:不熟歧视波兰 换中/韩如何 07/12 14:43
32F：推 loveinmars:这怎麽会这这靠盃啦XDDDDDDDDDDD 07/12 14:47
33F：嘘 asd6101:换成台湾人 还笑的出来吗 07/12 14:52
※ 编辑: belleaya 来自: 140.113.55.152 (07/12 15:07)
34F：嘘 forentia:完全不好笑 07/12 15:23
35F：推 Connec:换成台湾还是会笑啊 不过就是笑话是在认真什麽 07/12 15:26
36F：推 brian455461:正义魔人爆走中 07/12 15:51
37F：嘘 herro760920:我告诉你韩狗人也会吃大便，而且还不会烹调! 07/12 15:56
38F：→ banzai221:为什麽欧美赌烂波兰人阿? 07/12 17:06
39F：推 kevin5603:这次感觉比之前的人身攻击还严重 比较没那麽好笑 07/12 17:21
40F：嘘 kuiyy:越来越难笑了 适可而止吧 07/12 17:43
41F：推 f791026:觉得不好笑的就滚啊,有人逼你看腻 07/12 17:50
42F：嘘 FOMC:不好笑 07/12 18:43
43F：推 hikki430:波兰人结婚真的要丢大便吗？？ 07/12 18:54
44F：嘘 hudson109:推 d200190:会把这些笑话当真的才是真歧视 这是什麽逻辑 07/12 22:19
45F：推 Derp:ˇ很好笑阿XDDDDDDDDDD 07/13 15:24
46F：嘘 lifehunter:跟波兰人不熟 还真不知道有啥好笑 07/13 20:01