作者longjyi (看不到看不到)
看板joke
标题[趣事] 文言文作文
时间Wed Nov 30 19:21:20 2005
身为中文系的学生,
使用见鬼的文言文写作文是逃不了的宿命。
老师很善良(咦?),
题目算是半自由,
”哀***”
一般老百姓们大都哀一些光阴啦青春啦社会啦人生啦之类正经的东西,
而,
强者我同学,
她书写了...
哀鸡排难吃。
以下请欣赏....
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哀鸡排难吃
人有贤愚之分,鸡排有味美与否之别。
淡江学子,奋发进取,习圣人之道,不逾子时必辗转不得眠。
秉烛夜游,对月吟哦,诗兴大发乃至元神俱疲,形销骨弱。此时不食,更待何时?
鸡排真乃淡江学子之益友也!
一日子时。余须作数首七绝予诗社。
然竭搜枯肠,俯仰不成句,心中舛栗,面色灰槁,忧苦形於颜色。
吾友提鸡排夜晤,揭盒一探,香气拂面,摄人心魂,动人灵魄。
余大悦,十指既出豪夺强取,性命相搏,直如修罗转世,恶鬼破土。
吾友见状大骇,掀桌而窜,三两步飞身上梁,倒挂金钩,厉声疾呼:
「且慢!汝乃修身之君子,岂可与同年相争?鸡排诚可分食,患难情谊不可弃!」
一语喝破梦中人。
余愧对天地父母良心,竟为一鸡排失君子气度!乃悔不当初,感极而悲。
友人奉送鸡排半块入口,嗟呼!不送则已,一送更肝肠寸断,满目伤心。
此鸡排之里外不一,前无古人,後无来者,金玉其外,败絮其内。
似美味多汁,实则乾涩酸败,或为禽流感所害之病屍!
余平生尽嚐天下美味,不料栽於一宵夜之下!食之苦闷,弃之不忍。
店家之腐败,天道之沦丧由此可见矣!
此鸡肉质之恶,非难吃二字可形,口感之差,只想吐而已。
哀哉此鸡,余前世必与其轮回相缠,竟以此等手段害余!
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http://www.wretch.cc/blog/longjyi
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※ 发信站: 批踢踢实业坊(ptt.cc)
◆ From: 221.169.206.188
1F:推 VincentSu:XDDD 11/30 19:24
2F:推 etrana:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 强者 11/30 19:25
3F:推 uranushgsh:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 19:25
4F:推 rjab:XDDDDD 没希望当记者了 11/30 19:26
5F:推 RedWingQQ:XDDDDDD 好屌! 11/30 19:33
6F:推 hijenou:XDDDDDDDDD 11/30 19:41
7F:推 ccrane:推淡江XDDD 真是强者XD 11/30 19:40
8F:推 rtyu:真是强者 XD 11/30 19:41
9F:推 isisme:推淡江 XDDDDD 11/30 19:42
10F:推 duncan012:XDDDD 11/30 19:43
11F:推 Tabris157:强 水啦 11/30 19:44
12F:推 ilovebabe:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 好强喔!!! 11/30 19:45
13F:推 sakulayo:XD 赞 11/30 19:47
14F:推 kingzzz:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 19:48
15F:推 eliec:水 11/30 19:49
16F:推 AEL:倒数第二句让我觉得你同学是华安转世 11/30 19:49
17F:→ hanbz:好XD我笑了 11/30 19:50
18F:推 ast154251:哀哉~ 11/30 19:53
19F:→ lightman:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 19:54
20F:推 lilacat:推淡江 水啦! 11/30 19:59
21F:→ rtyu:伟哉 11/30 20:03
22F:推 HornyDragon:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:03
23F:推 agreetio:XD 11/30 20:04
24F:推 xerophil:淡江不愧为武侠大本营... 11/30 20:03
25F:推 wsf:推淡江........ 11/30 20:08
26F:推 MilkyDolphin:XDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:08
27F:推 fumizuki:强者 11/30 20:10
28F:推 letsgo:真人真事吗 太猛了!!!!! 11/30 20:11
29F:推 balaz:XDXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 无敌呀~~ 11/30 20:11
30F:推 allenlaiz:真的棒 只有赞 11/30 20:13
31F:推 Breeze71:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:14
32F:推 yacumo:XDDDDDDD 11/30 20:15
33F:推 yuyemoon:推XDDDDD 11/30 20:15
34F:推 wetlin:推淡江...那里的鸡排真的很多.... 11/30 20:22
35F:推 yews:推淡江,我最爱指南隔壁那家大鸡排XD 11/30 20:26
36F:推 Elivanta:遣字、创意跟夸饰用的很好..有些字句可以更好的~ 11/30 20:26
37F:推 scott1man:真的吗,改天去淡江见见老同学,顺便吃机牌。 11/30 20:27
38F:推 linlary:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:30
39F:推 youcankillme:XDDDDDDD 没希望当记者了 11/30 20:32
40F:推 snakeh89232:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:40
41F:推 cofamao:推推推 11/30 20:41
42F:推 sickiam:好文耶 11/30 20:45
43F:推 tsawtin:今天宵夜去辅大鸡排好了XD..还是大块鸡排咧 11/30 20:48
44F:推 gtrtpo:强者 你真内行... (@﹒@)> 11/30 20:52
※ luckyshin:转录至看板 KS93-320 11/30 20:53
45F:推 luckyshin:太赞了 借我转 11/30 20:54
46F:推 EZILI:推淡江 我也想回淡江吃鸡排XDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:56
47F:推 lovemage:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:57
48F:推 TsaoWangChen:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 20:59
49F:推 sanya423:那我要吃士林豪大大香鸡排.... 11/30 21:07
※ Kaposi:转录至看板 HSNU_882 11/30 21:10
50F:推 noodles:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 21:16
51F:推 moboo:很好笑XD 11/30 21:22
52F:推 Aseven:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD推淡江XDDDDDDDDD 11/30 21:33
53F:→ Aseven:倒数第二句好好笑 XDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 21:35
54F:推 lguI:XDDDD 太强了 11/30 21:41
55F:推 allison110:XD 11/30 21:42
56F:推 Crucio:XD 11/30 22:06
57F:推 ahQ:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 22:07
58F:推 ijtm:太强了啦 11/30 22:08
59F:推 Tocarossa:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 22:09
60F:推 connie1014:ZDZDZDZDZDZDZDZDZDZDZDZD(带了墨镜的XD)... 11/30 22:21
61F:推 georgewesley:淡江推一个啦~~~ 11/30 22:30
62F:推 AEL:有没有老师评语PO一下啦 11/30 22:31
63F:推 redpencilbox:高手...m(_ _)m 11/30 22:30
64F:推 dotZu:此文情感真挚,文词恳切,我给满分! 11/30 22:33
65F:推 crang:XD 强者 11/30 22:36
66F:推 Radia:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD握的老天爷啊~~太好笑了~~ 11/30 22:43
67F:→ daisyning:强哦﹗﹗ 11/30 22:59
68F:推 Platon:XDDDDDDDDDDD 11/30 23:03
69F:推 gudgeon:佳作喔! 结尾可以更加强些~ 11/30 23:33
70F:推 smallsheep24:好厉害 给你个XD~~~~ 11/30 23:35
71F:推 toocooljerry:甘拜下风..... 11/30 23:40
72F:推 apek:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/01 00:03
73F:推 u04u041234:XDDDDDDDDDDDD 推 只想吐而已... 12/01 00:07
74F:推 littlebearAC:XDDDD 12/01 00:12
75F:推 bluefish0630:强 XDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/01 00:24
76F:推 meanbear:推一个XD 12/01 00:32
77F:推 ohyeaah:XD 12/01 00:51
78F:推 fuzzy:XD 12/01 00:52
79F:推 SetsunaLeo:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/01 00:53
80F:推 Coming1216:前後文笔未免也差太多了吧 後面写得真差 12/01 00:54
81F:推 scpxxx:XD 12/01 00:57
82F:推 az222222:XD太强了 12/01 01:06
83F:推 icemirage:前後有差~後面想睡了? 还是很强啊 12/01 01:08
84F:推 Reiky:XD 12/01 01:16
85F:推 pxw:真强者也! XD 12/01 01:33
86F:推 PhySeraph:XD 12/01 02:33
87F:推 buburainbow:推淡江~!!! 12/01 03:20
88F:推 cynthiablack:XD 12/01 07:54
89F:推 cril:好赞喔!真的没机会当记者了XD 12/01 08:36
90F:推 nigerc:很白话啊~~用字上是满好的,但不觉得很强啊~多多练习就会了 12/01 09:36
91F:推 WineCheese:XD 12/01 10:17
92F:推 ashim:XD 12/01 10:21
93F:→ fracs:“消”夜 错字! 12/01 10:52
94F:推 cling05:为啥没机会当记者? 12/01 10:59
95F:推 ilsummerya:推淡江XDD 12/01 11:19
96F:推 kekeman:XD来罗! 12/01 11:25
97F:推 stcb:XDDD 12/01 11:59
98F:推 iforme:超棒的 12/01 12:39
99F:→ iforme:只想吐而已XD 12/01 12:39
100F:推 anetoboin:大推XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/01 12:46
101F:推 Fuadiya:最後一句好好笑 12/01 12:50
102F:推 Michiyo:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDdd 12/01 12:59
103F:推 tarcy2767:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/01 13:13
104F:推 l894809: XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/01 15:55
105F:推 marlboro327:借转 XDDDD 12/01 16:14
106F:嘘 sam369: 12/01 16:15
※ wengary:转录至看板 NTUot94 12/01 16:22
107F:推 bbcjoe:听的我高潮一波接一波呀 12/01 16:27
108F:推 jerrypotato:XD 12/01 16:55
109F:推 chily:叫你第一名啦 12/01 17:32
110F:推 sisman:爆.. 12/01 17:33
111F:推 supreme0220:XD 12/01 17:33
※ openfire:转录至看板 NDHU-phy95 12/01 18:00
112F:推 hisb:XDDDD 12/01 18:20
113F:推 Sinze:推~ 12/01 18:35
114F:推 WaveFunc:只想吐而已.....这句很妙XD 12/01 20:04
115F:推 zforlong:XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/01 20:16
116F:推 HATEBBS:太好笑了 尤其是修罗转世那一段 可惜有点虎头蛇尾 12/01 21:48
117F:推 geniusmrlai:XD 12/01 22:12
118F:推 emma5:XDDDDDDD 太强了!! XDDDDDD 12/01 22:48
119F:推 doodoowhy:喔耶爆吧 12/01 23:43
120F:推 cbate:XDXDXD 12/02 00:50
121F:推 missbaby:这算文言文嘛 = =" 12/02 00:57
122F:推 GOOGOOfish:XDDDDDDDDDD 12/02 01:01
123F:推 onelife:余前世必与其轮回相缠,竟以此等手段害余! XDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/02 02:22
124F:推 doyourselff:推淡江~~XDDDDDDDDD 12/02 02:26
125F:推 kagoi:XD 强!!!!! 12/02 05:44
126F:推 kevinfu619:前无古人,後无来者,金玉其外,败絮其内XDDD 12/02 07:57
127F:推 ned951357:我可以问问看结果吗XD超赞的啦!!! 12/02 18:37
128F:推 Imagemant:真会虎烂 算你行 一块鸡排难吃能写这麽多 12/03 00:44
129F:推 kartess:好笑 12/03 15:56
130F:推 macefindu:三两步飞身上梁,倒挂金钩,厉声疾呼.....Orz 12/05 22:53
131F:推 STWsoso:XDDDDDDDDDDDDD 12/28 23:22
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143F:→ lunaangel: ◥█◣ 成大狗博士出没注意 ◢█◤ 01/01 16:00
144F:→ lunaangel: ◥█◣ Dr.Dog ATTENTION◢█◤ 01/01 16:00
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150F:推 silvia6:XD 01/21 00:31
151F:推 ants:超强 XD 02/27 21:28
※ jvcc:转录至看板 NTUBIME-95 03/10 21:15
152F:推 Gonocurrus:XD 11/02 16:14
153F:推 minbyminby:XD 06/19 11:57